2018-07-09
H.Protagonist 9715453
Thread: Normalisation of 'plus-size' risks hidden danger of obesity, study finds (Read OP)
I'm a bit late to this thread, but I think a huge part of the battle is convincing people that 1) they can lose tons of weight by cooking their own food, 2) it isn't hard/time consuming, and 3) it doesn't have to be expensive. As someone who lost 35lbs and has kept it off for over twelve years now (from 140+lbs to 105lbs) even after having two children, I'd be happy to share some of the cheap-but-good-and-easy recipes I use (like baking your own bread sans all the sugar you get in store bought versions!). I get that it's boring as hell to think you can only eat boiled chicken/rice and the like and cost is a concern, so as a bit of positive direction from all this, why not do a recipe jam with other posters? Approaching cooking your own food like a chore can kill your motivation, while turning it into a creative activity can help you lose that weight and boost your mood. Win-win!
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9715453/
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2018-07-09
H.Protagonist 9716709
Thread: Normalisation of 'plus-size' risks hidden danger of obesity, study finds (Read OP)
Yep. Or into the children's section which is hella weird. Even trying to buy online, it seems the smallest most come down to is a UK 8 whereas there's almost always an option for XL or XXL. I have a devil of a time shopping anywhere but Japan, and I don't think I'm all that tiny.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9716709/
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2018-07-09
H.Protagonist 9718748
Thread: Normalisation of 'plus-size' risks hidden danger of obesity, study finds (Read OP)
I'm 5'3.5, and it might seem tiny by today's standards, but I'm hardly miniature. I'd have been above average in the '70s or even '80s, I'd warrant. It's not, actually. At 5'3.5" I'm still in the healthy range (just). But that's why all this sizing stuff is so crazy. I'm not super skinny yet I have to find 0 or 00 sizing in the US to fit, and in the UK a size 4? But they don't carry that anywhere, and they list size 8 as 'S'. It's absurd. There was an article on this a couple of years ago and it showed that Brigitte Bardot in the '70s was a size 8. Today? She'd be a UK(?) 0.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9718748/
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2018-07-09
H.Protagonist 9719677
Thread: Normalisation of 'plus-size' risks hidden danger of obesity, study finds (Read OP)
Sorry, I worded that wrong. I didn't mean that the average woman was that weight, just that there were so many people way skinnier that it feels big. Yes? It's exactly what I said, I'm in the healthy range 'just'. And I never related BMI to clothes at all. I never even brought it up, you did. I just said that the sizing has changed like crazy over the years, in part due to vanity sizing and it's made 'small' something not really small anymore. Edited: Zoe just mentioned my weight, not bmi.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9719677/
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2018-07-09
H.Protagonist 9773878
Thread: Normalisation of 'plus-size' risks hidden danger of obesity, study finds (Read OP)
You can cook stuff yourself that tastes way better than a McRib and is cheaper (stretched over a few meals), but it takes effort and people will make all kinds of excuses to not make an effort. It's ridiculous the lengths we go to tell ourselves x, y, and z is too hard. Anyway, I'm not directing this at you (unless you're arguing this for yourself?). I'm just frustrated because I run into this same argument with my sister. She's always been pretty hefty, but recently she blew up to over 200lbs and she's only 5'2". In part it's due to medication she takes for her transplant (though it's supposed to stabilize after a year which she is far past), but mostly it's just her shitty eating habits and excuses. She's got gestational diabetes now and STILL eats at McDonalds because she's 'hungry/doesn't want to cook/it tastes better/it's convinient' BS.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9773878/
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2018-07-09
H.Protagonist 9834800
Thread: I Can't Deal With NPCs Anymore, or How Trails in the Sky Ruined Gaming for Me
I'm sorry about the pigeons.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9834800/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/oly0m
2018-07-09
H.Protagonist 9873341
Thread: I Can't Deal With NPCs Anymore, or How Trails in the Sky Ruined Gaming for Me
Sounds like you need one of these: All 700+ rows... If it's any consolation, people give me shit about the reformatting thing from SC (even though it was not possibleeeeeadmsrdhdc&^#%ghvy,jg!). :D
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9873341/
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2018-07-09
H.Protagonist 9963400
Thread: 'FIFA World Cup 2018 |OT4| All according to Lukaku
Just...fuck.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9963400/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/czyOn
2018-07-09
H.Protagonist 8535003
Thread: TolkienERA |OT| Renewed shall be the blade that was broken
This seems to be the place for this, so... I got this a bit ago to reward myself for making a human: Tonight's the first chance I've had to crack it open, but just having it makes me feel warm inside. I'm a massive Tolkien fan, and I enjoy boring people with Middle Earth tidbits whenever the movies are playing. I imagine this will give me even more ammo. I think I need that Tolkien: Maker of Middle-earth Collector's Edition too now...
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/8535003/
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2018-07-09
H.Protagonist 6123943
Thread: CricketERA |OT1| "Weird, a bit random, not what I was expecting"
My feelings as well. I really like that about the Aussie sporting mentality. I think the punishment handed down from this will definitely send a message to anyone else contemplating the same. Was Warner really that disliked? I mean before all this. I know he was a bit of a hothead and a jerk in the past, but he seemed to have settled down after wife/kid and seemed solid generally. I liked him well enough from what I saw anyway. Haven't followed cricket as closely as before since moving to England, though. Yeah. When I thought it was only going to be a one game suspension or some other slap on the wrist I was pretty disappointed, but this seems about right. Harsh, but right. What they did wasn't anything much for some, but it seems to have done some serious damage to the sport's image/integrity, so I think it's fair. This will stay with Warner and Smith for the rest of their careers, but they deserve another chance to come back from it (if anyone's willing to have them). :( Man, that hits me. Like, I'm glad they're really stamping down on this thing, but it's painful to see someone so destroyed, especially if it's true that he was mostly just covering for Warner. I really liked Smith and I hope he's able to get some of the respect back eventually and return properly.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/6123943/
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2018-07-09
H.Protagonist 6126238
Thread: CricketERA |OT1| "Weird, a bit random, not what I was expecting"
Did he do something particular, or was it just his general attitude? Sorry if this is obvious stuff. I really feel out of the loop these days...
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/6126238/
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2018-07-09
H.Protagonist 5977930
Thread: CricketERA |OT1| "Weird, a bit random, not what I was expecting"
Has anybody said/theorized why they'd take such a risk in the first place? I'm still trying to wrap my head around that. It just doesn't seem worth it on any level. Pros: Beat SA...? Cons: Get caught Get demoted Get fined Taint integrity of the sport Taint reputation of team Taint personal legacy Ruin career Embarrass self Embarrass country Etc., etc. With all the cameras around you'd almost certainly be caught, so just...why? I haven't been following this test/the sport very closely this year, so maybe I've missed some all-consuming need to win this game, but it just doesn't seem to make any sense. This couldn't have just been about all the stupid sledging going on, right?
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/5977930/
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2018-07-09
H.Protagonist 6007677
Thread: CricketERA |OT1| "Weird, a bit random, not what I was expecting"
So you think it's endemic. Like diving in soccer kind of? They just see it like strategy. I guess Smith did say everyone does it for 'advantage'. That's pretty effing lame. Makes me not want to watch it anymore. A bit of sledging, fine, that just seems to be a guy thing in sports and can be ignored, but the level it's gotten to (the pettiness, the wife thing) coupled with apparent normalized cheating is just a huge turnoff. I don't like the burn and raze it to the ground approach that seems to be the popular option these days, but I don't see how they're going to correct this now (i.e. keep/bring back fans) unless they let the 'leadership' group go. Am I overestimating the damage? Are people OK with just a few suspensions/fines? I know Faf seemed to have gotten past his own cheating instances just fine and still plays. I don't know if I'll tune in again except for T-20 now, though.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/6007677/
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2018-07-09
H.Protagonist 6019245
Thread: CricketERA |OT1| "Weird, a bit random, not what I was expecting"
Yeah, their attitude certainly made everything way more glaring and it blew up (deservedly so, it seems), but you think it should be legal? Why can't they just play as is? I really hate sneaky stuff like this and diving and have always found it strange that ppl are cool with it. I know it probably only results in a slight advantage if any, so is that why you're ok with it (in general)? Are you of the same opinion as bomma man, then? About the legality point? Aren't they a parody site? Seems like their usual according to the husband.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/6019245/
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2018-07-09
H.Protagonist 5963258
Thread: CricketERA |OT1| "Weird, a bit random, not what I was expecting"
I feel the same. It just doesn't make sense to me on any level. I'm not even Australian (my husband who is introduced it to me), but it hurts. Smith was the last person I expected to do something like this. I guess I completely misjudged him. That or they had him do it as insurance in case they got caught they could chalk it up to the 'young fella' making a rookie error or something trying to help them win. I don't know, but agreed that it'll colour his entire career from here on out. Damned shame.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/5963258/
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2018-07-09
H.Protagonist 9110963
Thread: BritERA
Anybody from Didsbury or there abouts? Cheshire local gossip has an eatery there getting blown up for tipping shenanigans. Tipping does abound. Sort of. :( That 'opportunity' looks amazing, Blue. Do it and report back.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9110963/
Archive.org: https://web.archive.org/web/20180710011207/https://www.resetera.com/threads/britera.532/page-33
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2018-07-09
H.Protagonist 4677924
Thread: BritERA
Guys, I've been here for almost two years now and I'm still confused. Do I or don't I tip at pubs? I'm sitting here in a nice craft tavern writing and I've got one more hour/pint before I have to head back, and I'm wondering if I should be tipping, not tipping, tip at the end, or... Please help, I've been ruined by America.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/4677924/
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2018-07-09
H.Protagonist 4678244
Thread: BritERA
Awesome. Thank you. I just wasn't sure because it's a nicer place than your typical pub, it's Cheshire (and they seem big(?) on tipping here), and the bartender sent me a freebie because of a pest at the bar. I still feel like I should do something, but at least I know it's generally not the norm, which is reassuring. Cheers! It's just confusing because this area always seems to have a 'tip' line on the bills, so I never know what to do. As I've just moved to this town too and it's fairly small, I don't want to leave a bad impression since I'll be coming back quite a bit.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/4678244/
Archive.org: https://web.archive.org/web/20180710011214/https://www.resetera.com/threads/britera.532/page-26
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2018-07-09
H.Protagonist 10061154
Thread: Did You “Date” Older When You Were in High School? (Potentially Sensitive Subject for Some)
I mean, it's normal as in, not unusual (especially the 'wanting' part), but it looks pretty skeevy(?)/sad to many in the sense that you're going for people way out of your age/experience as if you don't have the maturity to date someone your own age or you're aiming for younger to take advantage of their relative inexperience. Many women prefer older men, though, just as many older men prefer younger women.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/10061154/
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2018-07-09
H.Protagonist 10060662
Thread: Did You “Date” Older When You Were in High School? (Potentially Sensitive Subject for Some)
I didn't think anything odd of it at the time, but the only guys who were interested in me were always at least 10 years older. I briefly saw a 27 year old, a 29 year old, and had a couple of dates with a 36 year old when I was 17 and then 18. I was already in college then, though, so it didn't seem so weird. Seems kinda eh now, I guess.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/10060662/
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2018-07-08
H.Protagonist 5577263
Thread: Annihilation |OT| A Shimmer Out Of Space [Spoilers]
Watched it on a whim because someone made a thread here about a decent horror film and...wow. Not quite horror, and not what I expected, but thoroughly enjoyable. The ending was a bit mmmmm for impact, but thought provoking enough. I adored the bear and that uber unsettling 'copy' scene with Lena. Can't imagine how Kane's copy and Lena (Key and Lock?) are supposed to get out of quarantine, though (unless the copy and her own blood voodoo perfected outside of the shimmer?). And agree with your interpretation, Twentieth.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/5577263/
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2018-07-07
H.Protagonist 10106057
Thread: FIFA World Cup 2018 |OT5| Sterling Alli Lingard Trippier | Quarter-Finals begin Friday (READ OP)
Neymar... Sigh.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/10106057/
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2018-07-07
H.Protagonist 10104847
Thread: FIFA World Cup 2018 |OT5| Sterling Alli Lingard Trippier | Quarter-Finals begin Friday (READ OP)
Too bad Neymar has made it the boy who cried wolf. Burning his own team at this point.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/10104847/
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 10092640
Thread: Do you care about fashion?
I want to care more, especially while I still have this body, but I don't even get to shower or sleep every day at the moment, so it's like, fuck it. People better be happy that I'm even wearing pants.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/10092640/
Archive.org: https://web.archive.org/web/20180708151234/https://www.resetera.com/threads/do-you-care-about-fashion.52557/page-5
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 10093905
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
Pre-34 they'll try and delay you for as long as they're able so that the lungs can develop to a fair point (they were hoping to keep my sister going a few more days to hit that milestone, but the baby had other ideas), but yeah, generally it's you pop, it's game on in the next 24 hours. That's what I was told too.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/10093905/
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 10092331
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
Wow. Really? I knew they'd try to have you keep it in a bit longer if it's pre-34 weeks, but I thought they were pretty anxious about the water breaking because of the risk of infection. Can't imagine being sent home for weeks. My sister didn't even make it 4 hours. I got a text at 1 this morning that she'd had a girl. Sucker just flew right out! At least you have a 5 year old to help that's also potty trained! I've heard that's actually a really good age gap. You guys'll get back into the swing soon. Might have to switch to something a bit slower game-wise like Firewatch, though. :) Hope everything goes smoothly for the birth! Thank ya~
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/10092331/
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 10068449
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
Wow! Congrats! It'll be rough at first, but you guys hit the jackpot. We have two girls and now have to contemplate a 3rd. ;_; Thanks. Everyone's a bit panic stations, but I'm sure it'll work out. It's a shame it's happening right in the middle of the reunion, though. My sister might have to stay in hospital for a while. She's gutted. Me too if that happens. :/
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/10068449/
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 8840271
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
Congrats, Tranq! Good/crazy/mysterious times ahead~ ;_; Kill me.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/8840271/
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 9023320
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
Get one with a camera. Do it. For the nightmares. Congrats and welcome to the club!
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9023320/
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 9294841
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
It's not just you. I don't think about my personal health so much, but my mortality is in neon lights right now. The idea of possibly checking out early and not being able to protect my kids/see them to adulthood haunts me. It's hella weird and scary. Of course, worrying about losing them is 1000x more scary. :( 25? Mine's 2+ and likes curry/a bit of spice, so when she asked to 'smell' the chili spice (she 'helps' cook) I stupidly took the lid off for a sniff but instead she inhaled a bunch. I felt horrible. The next day I gave her some of the fresh pizza I'd made for dinner. It had chilies on it. I was the worst mom on the planet that day too. :(
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9294841/
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 10066255
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
Welp, my sister's water just broke at 33 weeks, and our flight to her for the family reunion is tomorrow. Wahey?
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/10066255/
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 7803145
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
Haha, yeah. I imagine French moms are having waaaay more fun than the rest of us. And I'm so with your wife. I rock up to our local tap house and they're like, "Full pint, not half, right?" :D Mine wasn't/weren't too bad. We got the red cheeks, sleeping tons, and not wanting to eat much variety, but #1 slept fine with the occasional Calpol dose before bed on really bad days. For eating, cooled sweet potato/purees seemed to work best. My sister-in-law's daughter went the full gamut with throwing up, high fever, red cheeked, super irritable, not eating, though. Child seemed down right demonic sometimes. She used a lot of fridgable teething necklaces to help. Is yours mot wanting to eat quite a bit?
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/7803145/
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 7732047
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
The lists they give you are absurd. I understand the need to be cautious to a degree, but they just lump everything on a 'danger list' if there's even the tiniest chance a problem might happen. It's like they're trying to make an already tough time even more joyless. -_- I don't want to encourage you to take unnecessary chances (like eating some back-alley poke), but if you go for a second, you'll might find yourself rolling your eyes at all the restrictions you followed during round one. Just use common sense and avoid the bigger problem foods, I say*. *I've been known to eat questionably fresh things without noticing and have a cast iron stomach. Take with a grain of salt. EDIT to add: Sushi is back on the OK list, btw. It's all flash frozen in the states, so parasites are killed off. Just make sure you get it from a decent/clean-looking place.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/7732047/
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 7759498
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
I mean, I know all that since I've carried two babies to term. I'm just annoyed as the one subjected to these lists by both doctors and the general public. The looks I'd get for buying cheese or ordering a steak medium rare to say nothing of the actual comments you get. Like I said, I understand why they give you these lists (why wouldn't you try to minimize as many risks as possible?), but I personally find them over the top. Your likelihood of getting a dodgy cheese is certainly far, far less than your chance of getting into a fender bender (in terms of death you are 126x more likely to die in a car accident this year than you are to die of Listeriosis, apparently). They'll be jamming pregnant women in stasis tubes next to minimize all the risks soon :P. Additionally, as you said, advice varies from doctor to doctor. My Australian midwife even recommended beer every now and then if I felt like it. I think the info is great to have, but the fear mongering that comes with it is all a bit much. It made for a stressful and un-enjoyable pregnancy on top of everything else for me with my first one. I was quite a bit more relaxed with #2 when it came around. But, of course, I'd only recommend people do whatever makes them comfortable. I wouldn't want anyone getting sick because I encouraged them to eat some parma ham.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/7759498/
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 7239523
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
I'm relieved that others are watching Little Baby Bum. I was kinda creeped out by it at first (all those dead eyes and that lamb with backward bending knees...), but it's pretty all right. Puffin Rock is good too. Sarah & Duck is the true GOAT, though.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/7239523/
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 7239707
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
Dave & Ava? Better than S & D? Color me intrigued. Shame it doesn't sound like it's on Netflix, though.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/7239707/
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 4815875
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
Have an update on the whole weight affair. We got an urgent referral from our GP to go to the bigger hospital since he couldn't see anything wrong with her and we were there for 7 hours doing exams, blood tests, etc. As expected, they too have no idea (blood normal, is happy, seems healthy at least), and they want me to go dairy free to see if she has an allergy (though she has no other symptoms). What joy. I tried the same with Mia when she was super gassy as a baby and it achieved nothing but my own misery since the morning latte is the only thing that keeps me going through the day, the only thing I look forward to after these horrible nights, and the only thing getting me out of bed and functioning. They also wanted us to try dairy free formula to see how she'd respond, but as I mentioned before, she won't take the bottle and wouldn't even after they had me make her wait for three hours to make her extra hungry. Instead I got to listen to my apparently underfed baby cry for hours because she was hungry and I wasn't allowed to feed her. Then they told me I could either stay over night for observation (impossible with another kid) or come back again and they would next use feeding tubes to force feed her and test different formulas. I negotiated one week to see if cutting the dairy from my diet would help, but that failing, it's back to the hospital for feeding tubes. Wahey. Thanks, chica. The house isn't exactly pristine, but I try not to leave caked food on the walls at least. I'm sure my husband would understand if I let it slip more, but I think the mess would only contribute to the overall poor mood. I won't dwell on it, at any rate. Food-wise, almonds were part of the shakes I was drinking and I'd put pistachios on the plain oatmeal when I made it. I'd love the no-bake recipe if you have it handy. But, not sure I can have it now ('dairy denied' as mentioned above). As for Emma, just cross your fingers for me this week. Last chance, it seems. Cheers for sharing your experience. Hoping we see a similar outcome. She is having plenty of wet nappies and all three doctors that saw her said she was well-hydrated, alert, etc., but they're not satisfied and she's past 10 weeks now with no improvement. I've tried supplementing, as I mentioned, but she won't take the bottle whether it has formula or breastmilk. I have no issues topping her up with whatever if it'll help, but nothing is working. We just got two more types to try and I had some small success with the Mam bottle this morning, so hopefully I can start doing this at least twice a day to add to her intake. For the feeding and weigh-in, they had not done that yet, but I imagine they wanted to had I stayed over night for observation. The health visitor will be coming (again) and bringing her scale this time, so I'll ask her to try it then. Sadly she won't take it. They've given us new formula (Neocate?) and I've got some new bottles, though, so fingers crossed. All that would be possible...if I didn't have to mind a 2 yr old (makes pumping nigh impossible more than 1-2x a day) and baby would take the damn bottle. :/ Sorry to hear you guys had to deal with that, though. As much as I didn't care initially about breastfeeding (lukewarm about it, really) it's pretty demoralizing when it doesn't work or work as it should. Everyone keeps looking at you, expecting things or pressuring or there's this lingering implication that you're doing something wrong or don't care enough, etc. The whole thing just sucks. I'll look into the domperidone, though. Thanks, CD.
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 4818671
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
It all sounds awful. I'm sorry, Tb. I think my husband has similar pangs of helplessness because there's not a lot he can do and has to leave for work as well, and I know that can take a toll on you even if you're not directly at baby ground zero. But(!), this is where a nanny/babysitter-type person will really help. If you're worried about how to sell it to your wife, remind her that she deserves/needs time to focus on her own work for your future (not just for immediate relief from the situation) and that having a trusted option to watch your child opens up many doors, time for you two as a couple being an important one. If she still balks because maybe she worries that it still comes off as a self-ish or frivolous spend, you can always point out that you to vet someone because you may have an emergency some day. A vetted sitter would be essential there. Anyway, wishing you both luck and relief. Feel free to vent any time. I sure have of late. ^_^; Thanks, man. I'm really hoping this is what they meant and not the kind you see in ICUs. As for the allergy, yeah. I never considered it because, well, she hasn't really shown any signs except gassiness which is not exactly uncommon in babies...
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 5243804
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
My kid is 3 months old and only just passed 10lbs... *___* Beautiful picture, btw.
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 4583157
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
Tbm, how about just getting a regular sitter to watch your daughter for 3-4hrs/day during the week so that your wife can focus and have some non-crying time? Lots of older folks have free time and fairly cheap rates, or you could even enlist a college kid for some part-time work (maybe put up an ad suggesting childcare majors, etc. get a preferred baby rate). It wouldn't bankrupt you like childcare/daycare and it might be enough to get her over this rough patch. As a mom who also worked from home, I completely empathize with the strain and stresses of never having time to focus on your own work, much less free time. Even just a few hours a day/week of her own time would do wonders for her mental state.
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 4604261
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
I don't suppose anyone has/had low weight gain issues with their babies? It's really starting to do my head in. As part of the system here in the UK, you have your baby weighed a couple of times after birth by health visitors to see how they're doing along a growth chart. Emma started on 50th percentile line and gained really well in the first couple of weeks but has since just gone completely flat. Her 'arc' is more like a rainbow and she's dropped to the 9th percentile at this point (10 weeks). They keep having me come in week after week to weigh her and for the last few weeks I've done everything I can to up my supply and make sure she's full (pumping, fenugreek pills, teas, lactation shakes, eating oatmeal till I feel sick, tried topping her up with pumped milk, formula, etc.) and when I went in today to have her weighed after all of that...she'd gained nothing. Not even an ounce. She seems perfectly healthy in all other respects (we've had 3 evaluations now). There's no tongue tie, no latch issues, she's like a hulk during tummy time, alert, happy/smiling, doesn't act as if she's hungry, etc. It's incredibly frustrating, especially on such shitty sleep. I just don't have the energy to keep doing the 2 mile hike to the clinic every week on top of everything else. They want me to eat more and pump 6x(!) a day now, but it's a struggle to even pump twice a day with a very active 2 year old, 2-3 hrs of sleep a night in pieces, keeping everyone fed and the house from falling into complete squalor. Anyway, I'm mostly just venting. She's currently a medical mystery, apparently, but the health visitors keep riding me and it's stressing me out. Next visit is to the big hospital. Yay... I'm super jealous of your kid sleeping through the night so soon, but I feel ya on the toddler. I'm scared to switch over from the crib for that very reason. Sorry you guys are having such a rough patch with the sleep. It's def hard to go back to crap after full nights again. Fingers crossed for your guest visit.
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 3889633
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
Today is Mia's first proper day of nursery school! Aaaaand she's already out sick. The mere two trial days before were enough to fell her. :P We started our daughter on sweet potato puree (and some other purees) at 4 months because she was super keen and had no issues. Sweet potato is great because it has lots of iron which they don't get enough of in just breast milk around that point. Makes nice, little, easy to clean cow patties when they poop too! She was also holding and gumming chicken legs to death by 6 months? Having no teeth didn't seem to stop her in the least even though I was a bit anxious at first (nothing hard/crunchy allowed until teeth arrived though). Apparently my husband was eating chicken at 4 months according to his mom... *___*
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 3891269
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
I was already dreading it, but for her to get sick just from the intro sessions is hilarious (in a sad way). Hope the poor kid perks up by Wed. She really seemed to like school and it's a bit boring for her here cooped up with the rain. But, hey, at least you'll have commiserating company when your #2 starts! Oh yeah, avocado is soooo good. Cram in as much as you can before your kiddo goes off it, Podge!
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 3892073
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
Avocado is brain food, Podge. Embrace it! Speaking of adventures in parenting... My husband and I have been amusing ourselves by rearranging Mia's playroom at night after she goes to bed. Doing it almost every night is getting challenging, but with little free personal time it's a chore made fun. I'm entertained, anyway.
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 3895635
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
It's pretty common. Both parents are tired, mom still probably feels pretty ugh physically and mentally (especially if the mom is breastfeeding), etc. It's understandable that relations would drop off. But...it can be a pitfall for couples if you lose that intimacy and all focus is put on the baby. I was pretty worried about that since I'd seen it happen to friends so I put in a bit of effort even though I was fried to hell. I made it a goal to aim for at least 2x a week and it really paid dividends for us. I'd say 3x/week was the pre-sleep training average in the end? It's something to talk to your missus about, though. Ask how you can help to get her some extra rest or just offer (an hour to herself for a bath, a nap, taking over some duties, etc.) and/or express how you want to do stuff as a couple/want her to feel special so make her dinner, get a sitter/help for even an hour to just do something together, send her off for a massage/spa... <--in general, not just for sex, obviously. Also, make sure there's nothing else putting her off like physical pain/discomfort. That stuff can linger for months and really kill any desire. Basically, it's not selfish to bring it up or want sex, but it definitely takes extra effort post-kids and can be kind of awkward to discuss bc you both feel weird/sleep deprived. Also, if your 4 month old only wakes once a night, count yourself lucky! ;) As for tricks, all I can suggest pre-6month sleep training is to load him up with solids (puree bc bed) so he won't wake up from hunger. It's prob just habit, though. Thanks. :D It's actually really fun. I open a beer and chuck on a podcast and let my imagination run wild. Good times. Thanks, chica! And awwww about Charlotte. 'Tis the season, eh?
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 2547930
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
...No lies...detected. ;_; It's why my book hasn't sold millions yet, isn't it? Curse you, Motheeeeeer! Thanks yo! Just glad that part's over. Phew~ Big congrats, FW! And commiserations. :/ What a shitty thing to happen and the timing makes it 10x worse. Really sorry, man. ? Why haven't you just given her purees? Is there any particular reason you're waiting for a pediatrician's OK on it? We started giving Mia sweet potato mash at 4 months because she was keen as mustard. KEEN. AS. MUSTARD.
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 2614691
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
Hmmm, it's probably not powerful enough to do everything you want to do, but it's the only telescope I have any firsthand experience with (and still might work for you), but I got a National Geographic 76/350 Compact Telescope for my husband as an intro telescope. It's easy to operate, portable, and powerful for what it is (inexpensive). Might be a good starter one since your kiddo is still pretty young. You can always upgrade when/if he shows a greater interest. And if it gets busted it wont break the bank.
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 2867765
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
Pretty cool that he's so keen at this age. Hope you get a lot of mileage out of the scope, whichever one you choose. Tell me you're going to recreate constellations on his ceiling with glow in the dark sticker stars, too. I loved that stuff as a kid. Will probably do it to my kid, interest or no. :D Sounds pretty rough, peppermints. Sorry you guys are having such a time of it. Sleep deprivation is some next level torture for sure. I know it can get pretty dire when nothing seems to be working and you feel like it'll never end. We have friends in kind of the same sit. Kid slept beautifully for months and then stopped cold and they've been nursing her to sleep, through constant wake-ups, and bed sharing since (at 13 months now). One half of the couple isn't emotionally ready for sleep training, though. They've been sleeping in separate beds for months now and I think they're hitting a breaking point too. Anyway, you're probably sick of people telling you it'll pass, but I don't know any 18 year-olds that still need to be rocked to sleep, so somewhere along the line it does end. Probably? :D Advice-wise, can I ask what kind of sleep training you did and how long you guys tried for? Since you guys are close to the weaning stage (1 year)(if that's your cut-off), this might actually be an opportune time to do a big overhaul. Establish a whole new routine and yank the sleeping thing back into a solo thing. I know you're asking for resettling techniques, but it sounds to me like the only way to break the cycle is to go whole hog. If you do just want to try resettling stuff, though, do you guys use a sleep app at all? We used that as a sleep association 'trigger', and kept it at half noise when ours went down, then slowly raised it to full if we had to resettle her. That plus a bit of pressure (hand laid on chest) seemed to do the trick sometimes. Maybe give that a go?
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 2874885
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
The app is just a free white noise player with a bunch of options on the iphone named "White Noise Lite." By 'trigger' I meant that we start it every time we go into her room to put her down and now just hearing it go on works like a sleep trigger bc she's associated it with bedtime. As soon as we hit the button she starts rubbing her eyes. :) So, DL it and start switching it on right before you put your son down, but have it at half or a lower volume. If he wakes, do your reset (go through whatever routine/feeding you have for bedtime/to get him down again), then raise the volume on the app right before you put him down again. It takes a few days to establish the sound as part of their sleep routine, but once in it helps signal '' and might help you settle him more quickly or in one go. It may or may not work for you as well as it did for us, but hey, it's free and painless to try! Good luck!
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 2876706
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
Mine's been helping out with laundry since she was one and a half. I figure that by three she'll be tall enough to put the detergent in and do it all by herself. :D Sorry for your loss, Phoenix.
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 2988890
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
It's the third day of doing the home thing with two kids by myself and while in general it's not bad, I have a persistent urge to kill something today. The 22 month old doesn't nap anymore and just kicks her crib hard enough to make windows rattle, the baby is gassy and struggles to sleep unless attached to me like a koala, the cats have gone insane and one keeps yowling at the baby gate because she's too lazy to jump it (doesn't matter what side she's on!). Somebody's getting punted into the sun or I'm opening a bottle of wine early to keep a crime from being committed. I'm with you. Teach them early and they're perfectly capable of doing tons of stuff. Mine feeds the cats by herself and sorts the recycling. She's rubbish at sweeping, though.
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 2254389
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
Well, it finally happened. 40w+3 'Taco' made her entrance, heralding in the first snow of the season. Round 2 was lightning fast and props to Macclesfield Hospital for having a waterbirthing room with in-built entertainment. Yes, that IS a disco ball. Yes, it rotated. Yes, they had a selection of funky music that was available. The storm-bringer (Emma) pictured below. She was born the day before the move which made things very, um, challenging, but so far this place is brilliant, so maybe that eviction was the best thing that could have ever happened. Yay, fireplace!
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 2254468
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
Sorry for double post! Hoping its cleared up at this point, but man that sounds tough. My sister-in-law's kid seems to be sick constantly and doing the round the clock screaming/puking thing and I can't even imagine. Hope your kiddo is OK and your sanity intact, Slek. Any time you want to pop in and just write down how you're feeling or talk through any of this stuff, please do. I'm a woman, but we have lots of dads in here. While there's nothing I can say that can even hope to touch on the scope of what's happened to you and your wife, many of us have experience with loss on some level, so you're in good company. Don't hesitate to share.
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 2297113
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
Thanks, emag. I say go for it! I need more 2+ kids company as I brave this fresh new hell. :D (Just kidding. It's not that bad -so far-) Adoption's also a possibility, but remembering the few threads we had on that topic, it sounds extremely trying logistically and emotionally. A wonderful thing to do, but man they make it tough for you. Thanks, yo! Cheers! And we did. We're all transferred over to the new place, nice and cozy. Only thing left now is fighting it out with an increasingly dodgy rental agency on the old place... Thanks, chica. She totally looked like an old Asian dude who'd had about 20 beers under his belt that first night, though. As for the move, just glad to have survived it. Thank god my mother was here. Would never have managed it otherwise. Feel bad that her whole trip was essentially packing and waiting around for Taco rather than relaxing with her grandkids, but she definitely saved the day. Thanks, Septimus! And wahey on the name~ It's, unfortunately, featured in the top 10 lists for ages, but it's just so classic-sounding. Short, feminine without being over the top, works in Japanese (for us), etc. It won out in the end despite the list thing. Was partial to Elora, too, though. Happy to hear it didn't last too long. I think 3 days is about as much as any sleep-deprived parent can take before going off the edge. For the sickness average, though, that sounds insane! Mia will be 2 in a few months and she's been sick... 0.5 times. I say 0.5 because she only threw up once and I'm pretty sure that's because she'd been jiggled in the Ergo too long. Is that like a daycare kid average? I heard that's what gets them.
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 2379176
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
$7000? Nefarious! I thought that didn't count for 'classic' (common)(heh) names. I'll have to measure her by her sister and see what happens. I'm with your wide, though. A one "m" Emma looks kinda lopsided. Hahaha. Can't win, right? I actually feel like you're spot on that "Henry" will be the next royal baby. Maybe you should take out a bet on it? Did you find yourselves () liking names that you found out later were featured heavily in the top picks lists? I wonder what it is that steers us towards those names at the same time. I loved Olivia, Ava, Sophia, etc., and then found out everyone and their cousin were naming their kids that. Before that I adored Aden and found out the same thing. :( Stupid brain! I'm really dreading when this happens to us. We've had such consistency since I did the training at 6 months that it's always a shocker when she cries in the middle of the night. 90% of the time she settles herself, but having to do resets always makes me nervous. The nights after those my husband and I are on psychic pins and needles dreading hearing the cry that means a pattern is starting...
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 1183194
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
No dice. We found out on Friday and wrote immediately, but the agent (the owners are in Australia) said that the owners have already made their plans and bought tickets, etc., so they don't think any extension would be a possibility. How "unfortunate," they can help us set up viewing appts/find suitable options, etc. (for a fee, of course)... Basically, we're on our own. :P Thanks, yo. We'll manage (we're international/moving pros), but I think my husband is going to have a panic attack. If I have any complications like a C-section, then I'll join him, but for now I'll just tell myself it's a chance for a better kitchen. Or something. Makes Japan look appealing right about now, though. That you, Soul (name change?)? 'Preciate the kind thoughts. No friends (being a preggo who has a kid and can't drink has not been a great selling point in finding friends) or family to speak of, sadly. Husband's family is in Australia, mine's the states, and we're in England. My mom IS coming over for ~2ish weeks for the birth, but she's quite frail, so heavy-lifting/packing might be beyond her. Good thing I've been doing my daily squats, eh? Fly you over for some beers and we can lock the kids in the backyard?
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 1191123
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
Yeah, it's pretty lame. Can't say they knew, though I doubt that would make much of a difference, tbh. Since they're overseas and removed from it all, so to speak, it's all been very impersonal/business-like. I don't mind that, but it does leave the impression that our circumstances wouldn't mean much to them since they have their own family/international move to worry about. As for sleep schedules, we're still chugging along (knock on wood) with the sleep schedule I put in place following the 6 month training. 7-7, sometimes 7-8 if we're lucky. The time change only seemed to throw me and my husband off. I just reset Mia's by half hour increments until we were back on track and nothing changed, thank goodness. Can't say the same for naps, though. While I can basically get her to literally put herself to bed (I started a new routine a month ago where she sits on a chair and drinks a mug of milk, then we walk upstairs together since I can't carry her in my state, she turns on her rain app, then I drop her in bed) she hasn't really gone to sleep. She'll sit and chat to herself despite going in rubbing her eyes and declaring "IN THE BED" like a dictator. Dunno. Think I've pretty much lost them for good. Is 20 months like some kind of cut off for naps? I though I'd get these till she was at least 3 or something... :( That was some high quality milk, though! But, yeah. It's kind of a mess. However(!), the husband just sent me a really awesome-looking place that he's booked for a viewing tomorrow. It's in some random village at the edge of Cheshire (aka, nowhere near our current place), but it's got 4 bedrooms, is detached, AND has a kitchen island all for just a bit more than we're paying here, so fingers crossed. If for some magical reason it checks out and accepts pets, maybe I'll be excited instead of exhausted.
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 1200598
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
Thank ya. It's kind of do or die, but I hope whatever desperate choice we make here is a halfway decent one. Rushing into longterm lets never turns out well, though. :/ Congrats on pulling out the "adult" voice. How old is your kiddo? Thanks, Sept. It's definitely a bummer, but I guess at least we always did anticipate moving not too long in the future. Hugely pregnant or not, I couldn't even imagine living somewhere 25+ years and then being told to leave. That would just be a blow to your core that I'm not sure you could come back from. Makes me really sad to hear that. :( But, yes! Must focus on the kitchen and the little island it has. C'mooooon, random place in random village! It was suggested to me that I should have Mia tag along whenever I went so she could get used to the idea and the place, but I haven't been myself in...5(?) years... No one mentioned when I should start bringing her, but I was thinking around the 2 year mark because she has some teeth now. Kind of relieved you haven't yet either, tbh. ^_^; OK, now I'm scared... We use children's toothpaste (not sure if there's flouride or not), but she tends to just suck or chew on the brush half the time. Every now and then I flip her upside down and give them a good proper brush, but hadn't been fussing too much about it. She only has her top front and bottom four atm, and they look fine, but... -_-
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 1201122
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
I haven't had cavities since I was...12(?), so aside from a cleaning every now and then because of insurance stuff (lack there of a lot of the time) in the states, I just never went. It's been a bad tendency that's carried on into late adulthood even when I have insurance/money now, I guess. Like with hospitals, I've just never gone unless I couldn't stitch it up myself. :( But, how does one go with a kid? She can't sit in my lap while they do their thing. Do people hire a babysitter for an hour or something or to join them at the office...? Maybe. :/ She has been having that mug of milk every day before bed lately now, though. Ugh. I don't even know how any of this works in the UK. By the time I figured it out in Australia we moved. Time to do what you're going to do and call around, I guess. All I want to do is sleeeeeeeeeeeep. Good luck to us both. Keep me posted on how it goes for you. If #2 will just wait a bloody week, maybe I can get us both taken care of while my mom is here.
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 1335744
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
Housing update: Looks like we may have found a place! It's pretty far from here, but it's everything we've wanted from a place, minus the extra commute. Just waiting to see if our application checks go through. If they do, we're planning on moving...in the next 2 weeks... Guess it's time to buy a baby wrap to strap kid #2 to my back. :P Sept! Kitchen islaaaaand! Book your ticket now. Cider will be served~ Hmmm, well, that involves the husband which is part of the problem. It'd be no issue if I could wrangle him in, but he's even worse than me when it comes to doctors or dentists, plus his job is super high pressure and time off is incredibly difficult to wrangle. He's really done their heads in refusing to travel internationally right now. :P That's why I was wondering about a 'solo' parent attempting this. My mom made it here in time (after missing her flight...), though, so maybe I can schedule the check-up while I have an extra pair of hands. Sorry to hear that RD. It's tough not to share the news when it happens. We had a similar thing with our first go, although we'd warned family it might not stick. Was still a shock when it actually didn't. :( Drop in any time if you want to talk about it more. It's something a lot of us have gone through, so you're among like company. My husband has and it made him pretty sad. He knows it's because I'm with her 24-7 and he only sees her briefly in the morn and at night/weekends, but I can tell it hurts him pretty bad sometimes. It's just one of those time things. It'll pass, but in the meantime, you can try and just carve out "Daddy" things if you have the time. Mine does the teeth brushing and grocery shopping with her now. That seems to have helped a lot.
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 1710268
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
Thanks, guys. Paperwork just cleared and the contract is signed! We move...in 4 days. I'm still hauling the bowling ball. My due date is today. Doesn't feel like anything internal is moving at all, though. Hahahahaha...ha... We are so fucked. :D A bit. We had 'electronics' issues where instead of reading or playing or engaging with Mia, they had a tendency to just whip out their phones and show her pictures even though we'd made a point of trying really hard not to have people do that. They've pretty much had to be the second parent to my sister-in-law's kid, though, so I think they're just fried on kids at this point, but it was still kinda bad. So, what I did to make it not be me telling them to stop behavior was to frame it like we'd been bad and we needed their help to remind us not to do it. That served to warn them that they shouldn't do it either without making it weird. Seemed to work. Maybe try that kind of reverse tactic?
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 1181331
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
Nothing makes impending childbirth more exciting than getting a notice in the mail that says you have ~6 weeks to vacate your rental house.
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 1182484
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
Notice out of the blue. There's nothing malicious or 'fault'-related about it per se - the owners have just decided to move back from overseas and want to live in it now - but we've been here almost 2 years now and the time frame they gave us is absolute minimum. :/ We had been on a long term yearly lease, but they never sent a full year extension to re-sign so we'd been paying month to month, which makes us suspect they had this in mind, at least. Would have been bloody nice to know. I'm due in 2 weeks IF I don't pop early and I already struggle to just watch kid #1 physically-speaking, so I have no idea how I'm going to pack this place up. We're both frantically searching for suitable places, but even a 3 bedroom terrace (i.e. cramped as all hell) here is ~$1750/month and that doesn't even include council tax (another ~$250ish/month on top). There's no way we'll find anything halfway decent local. Sigh. My husband's already miserly paternal leave (2 weeks of his personal vacation time) is going to be spent on this now while I get to tackle Mia and the newborn instead of healing up. Wahey. I'd be pissed if I wasn't so tired.
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 159650
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
Hey! I kind of did, but here I am. ^_^ And great to see you made it too! The name/ava change is going to mess me up, though. I'll try to transition it in my head, but I'm pretty hardwired to posters' tags/avatars (I'm old and resistant to change). Any plans to transition him out? Gonna get really tough later on (usually, anyway) from what I've heard if they get settled into bed-sharing. But, when it comes to sleep, sometimes whatever works is what's best for everyone's sanity and health~ A bath in with your newborn (initial few weeks) like a charming first, an idyllic memory, one of those stock photo moments of bonding... It's not. Don't do it. Don't even think it. Didn't have it with my first, but had something similar last night. I think in the end it was just the pelvis splitting (which is excruciating) and a hot bath/water bottle and bed rest helped calm them down. Best thing is probably just bed rest and making sure you have your bags ready to go (<--just for your own peace of mind even if they stop).
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 161927
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
Dec 4, supposedly. I'm predicting closer to Nov 28, though. Get me off this traaaaaiiin... ;_;
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/161927/
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 163310
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
Won't lie, it's kinda rough. 3rd trimester has been awful in terms of fatigue, but luckily Mia's a darn good kid (generally). She's 20 months now and has books she can read on her own/does her own thing decently, listens to instructions, sleeps, communicates fantastically well...but still. Major props to other parents with 1+s. I don't even want to dwell on what the first couple of weeks after the birth is gonna be like...
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 196657
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
17lbs at...4 months?! Mia didn't even hit 20lbs until she was ~17 MONTHS. Wow. At that rate he'll outgrow the playpen before he's half a year old. :) But, anyway, if it works for you guys, go for it~ I hate to say it, but that does seem to be the broad case among everyone I know who has a boy vs. those who have girls. We had a couple of playdates with my husband's friends while we were in Australia and the difference between the two was incredible. The boys were whirlwinds of destruction while Mia would just try and offer them things and/or play quietly. Now that Pete's walking (ruuuuuuunning) I imagine you guys have to have everything on lockdown and are probably mainlining coffee. I don't think I'd be able to manage that at all right now. Do you guys think you will eventually go for a second? Sadly, I'm more trepidatious than excited for #2. We'd always planned on having at least two, and given my age it makes sense to get it taken care of sooner rather than later, but man...I don't feel ready at all. For terrible two stuff, I've heard tanties are linked to frustration over communication a lot of the time, so that could be why you guys are getting it so rough right now. My friend had similar with her son (he didn't really start even saying basics until he was past the 2 yr mark) and he would have meltdowns pretty often. But once he started in earnest everything smoothed out. Did you guys find that was the case with Nick's brother? Mia gets frustrated when she can't do complicated actions after a few goes at it and stuff gets thrown, but she's only really melted down once. She wanted "up, up, up!" and I was too tired to do it bc of baby #2 so my husband had to carry her and she puddled into a screaming mess on the floor. Gave us a good laugh, and when he carried her (still going at full volume) an older woman who passed us called out, "You go! Work it, Dad!" :D To add: While we've been mostly spared on the tanty front, my kid's the kid dropping F-bombs in public and mispronouncing "clock" at the top of her lungs, over and over and over again... Congrats(!), and don't stress, it's not a given. Some people get kids that sleep through the night from the get-go, others have it fall into place later, and some of us sleep train. There are (usually) options. Until then, there's always the liquor cabinet and dark corner to rock in as an option. :)
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/196657/
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 101960
Thread: ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping
Checking in~ Like others have said, great to see so many familiar faces. Was really missing this thread. Promise to reply to stuff from the other thread (Sorry, SomewhatGroovy! Sorry, Red!). Anyway, parent of a 20 month-old with #2 due in...4 weeks... -_-
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/101960/
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 9103038
Thread: WritersEra |OT| Publish before you die
Cheers, Xagarath! I I'd say yours is right up my alley, too. Hey, maybe that's a good 'middle-aged' strategy. Book exchange with fellow authors? :D Thanks for the rundown on the giveaways. For smaller authors, even patchy results are something, though, right? I'll have to check out librarything and see if I can't do some kind of push maybe right before the final chapter of Dead Leads is published so that I can tie it to book 2's release. Instafreebie sounds interesting as well. Even if it doesn't translate to high sales, people can get a taste of it. That might work well for getting people to hang around for a second book. Is that something you've thought about for your recent release? I feel you on the bloggers. They're so tough to get eyeballs from. I'd kill to get a video review (that's not from a missionary who hates swearing). I did see in GoodReads that there's a review request section () that seems to have recent/some activity from bloggers. Maybe an option? Will check out New Writing North! So... 1) Media push to funnel readers to book 2/older release - 'Celebrating' the release of latest book by giving away first one on Twitter, FB, related book sites - Tie it to a holiday giveaway (Halloween, Father's Day, etc.)? 2) Book exchange with other authors to get fresh reviews to rekindle some momentum 3) Er... I need more coffee. :D Do you have a Twitter, btw? Unless we're already connected? My brain is dead after months of baby. Welcome from one whose book is about ghostly possession to one whose book is about more grounded possession! Had no idea there were so many fellow horror lovers in here. As Xagarath said William Gibson is your man. He pretty much set the tone for a lot of the genre. Read Neuromancer, Idoru, Count Zero, etc. Some of my favorite books. Screenplays sound much harder to market/grab traction because no one generally reads those for causal pleasure. If you've got media accounts, though, why not get some friends (or Era talent?) to read some of the scenes and record them. Then you can showcase those in timed releases to entice people to read the whole thing. You could do video, or just audio, or if you've any drawing talent, maybe storyboard scenes and showcase those? Congrats! And judging from Amazon and GoodReads, you've got a fair number of reviews already, especially with zero marketing. How many were you expecting? I think for most self-published authors, even getting a few is cause for celebration. What's your strategy moving forward?
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 8771349
Thread: WritersEra |OT| Publish before you die
Sad for no ghosts, but it does sound really intriguing regardless! Please take lots of pictures and post them with book snippets~ <--Twitter/media fodder for the marketing phase? Also, I lived in Dunoon when I was a kid, so if you're looking for a gritty depressed town for some grim inspiration, check it out. :D Loch Ness is the shit too. Gorgeous. Congrats! Like the others said, the cover looks great and it sounds interesting. Totally get you on the weird feeling about putting stuff out there, too. It's exciting...then you think about people reading it with your name plastered over it and, well, yeah. Just wait till you start showing it around to family/friends/online. That's when embarrassment really rolls in. :) But, do promote it here and talk about! The marketing phase is its own beast and you'll get some good/constructive feedback from everyone who has stuff out there. Also, make sure to get yourself added to the thread! EDIT to add: Was going to suggest Emerson join Goodreads (he's way ahead on that already) and saw I got a new review just yesterday on there for mine! I'm delighted, but not sure anything will top the 2-star w/ text review from 'Kailey' any time soon, though. :D
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 8817598
Thread: WritersEra |OT| Publish before you die
Yeah, that must have been pretty awkward. Any weird reactions? And I completely feel you on the coworker thing. It doesn't sound stupid at all. Since I was essentially picked up to be a 'beach book' type novel by my publisher, the books I've done are a bit comfort food(?)-esque, so I worry that it'll impact what people think of my localization work. I wonder if any author ever stops feeling embarrassed about their stuff. Anyway, keep us posted on how the launch, etc. goes! Really keen to hear a detailed experience with promos and adds. My publisher did a giveaway on GoodReads and one of the winners was a woman named Kailey. She gave a very and awarded it two stars out of five. I was a little shocked at first until I read it. She's apparently a missionary and uber religious. She hated the swearing and drinking in the book (which are basically two of the MC's main traits) but seemed to really like everything else. It's actually one of my favorite reviews because in spite of absolutely detesting those bits (which are frequent) she still enjoyed it enough to finish the whole thing. It was really fascinating.
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 8962490
Thread: WritersEra |OT| Publish before you die
Right? And such a low review score will undoubtedly interest potential readers who are on the fence, and when they read the text, well... Hopefully they're not so dismayed by swearing and booze! I did think it kind of hilarious that out of all the people who could possibly win my book it had to be a missionary. Absolutely do it! One of the things that's really challenging once you start marketing it is what to use for content that's going to be interesting and not just the usual book talk. Tying the stuff you present to images is a must (because people seem more drawn in by visuals than text) and having it be locations from your book is a particularly good angle. You'll get tons of mileage out of it and have a bunch of different ways you can push it (a tour of Loch Ness or the castle, commentary on the beers in a pub that your character drinks in, local landmarks, things that inspired passages, etc.). Take a million pictures of everything and anything. And, yes, head off to Dunoon. I'd love to see it again in all its dreary glory. :)
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 9022306
Thread: WritersEra |OT| Publish before you die
Yup. Horror/dark comedy/slightly sacrilegious thriller with an alcoholic main character. what a missionary is looking for in a novel. Apparently she really liked the cover so entered it on a whim. And yeah? I've been interested in doing more giveaways to try and get the book out there a bit more, especially since it's been out for a while already and I'm not sure how to get people to give it a look at this stage. Reviewers seem to prefer new releases or upcoming releases. What's a 'middle-aged' book to do? :P It's also a bit tough because my publisher is the one in charge of that stuff, so I can't just hand it out willy-nilly. Would you recommend librarythings, then? I just had a look and it seems I actually have a review on there already! (Neato.) The goodreads one certainly made a lot of people add it to their 'to-read' list, but I only got two reviews from that it in the end. I had no idea they charged now, either. As for bloggers, that's definitely an option. A bit tough, but even getting one response feels amazing. One of the blurbs on my physical edition came from a blogger who reviewed it after I mailed her. Do you have a list or anything of who's good to send books to? I just flailed around looking for suitable reviewers when I did it, so that might be something we could all compile and add to the OP. Anyone want to brainstorm on 'middle-aged' book marketing strategies? :D
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9022306/
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 8427999
Thread: WritersEra |OT| Publish before you die
It's been ages since I posted, but the baby is a few months old now which means I get my 2 hours of freedom once a week to write again. Thanks to that I was finally able to finish another chapter of Dead Leads and send it off to my editor and illustrator for the magazine. Wahey~ Hope to post here more from now on. How's everyone doing? Status updates? :D Never. It's always embarrassing to read your own stuff afterwards, and then you think of others reading it and get more embarrassed, and then you think of others reading it that you know in real life and drink yourself into a stupor.
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 8514741
Thread: WritersEra |OT| Publish before you die
You're a machine, Timu. A goddamned machine. Thanks yo. It felt good this weekend, anyway. Now that we're back to the week, though, I'm only getting ~4hrs a night in <1hr chunks again and it feels like my head is going to shatter into a million pieces. If I write anything it'll be a note explaining why I threw my child into the sun... And holy shit at that word count. It'll be a stretch for my second book to even hit 60k. What are you writing, War and Peace the extended-extended version? O_O Hey-hey~ That sounds super exciting. What part of Scotland? What's the book about? Please say ghosts. You can do it! Embrace the shame and alcoholism! :D Ooooo. That's fantastic. Any more news yet?
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 74560
Thread: WritersEra |OT| Publish before you die
Hello~
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/74560/
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 77213
Thread: WritersEra |OT| Publish before you die
\[-_-]/ Wait till you hear about sirap's erotica hauls. Mah Writing OT hommies!
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/77213/
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 9272734
Thread: Fitness |OT| A New Era Begins
Fitness experts, may I ask your advice? I have a family reunion coming up in 3 weeks and I'd like to tone up the butt/thigh area (more) before we go. I've been doing 50-100 squats a day for the last 2 weeks and there are definitely improvements, but if anyone had any moves that in their experience got good results, I'd love to know. Naturally I know that 3 weeks isn't going to net a makeover and I'm not expecting that at all, but given my weight/size it isn't hard to get visible results with a little more work, so I thought I'd ask. If any of those moves happened to gently help out the abdomen too, that'd be great. I can't do much there yet because all of the muscles are still weak/stretched, but I'm sure they can handle a little exercise by now.
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 9299842
Thread: Fitness |OT| A New Era Begins
Shame. And I had such modest hopes for 5 weeks of squats. :P Well, I'm ~105lbs and 5'4" in height, so I'm not worried about my diet except that I need to eat more which is easier said than done when my 2 year old wants to eat anything I make for myself. As you guessed, I'm a mom who recently had her second child, so my ab muscles are in a state, but I've been back to my average weight for a few months now. I'm just a bit skinny weak? Skinny soft? Sadly, sprint in the park aren't really an option unless I go at 8PM and skip dinner, my only decent meal of the day. I was hoping for something more bite-sized that I could squeeze in between naps like the squats. I do get plenty of walking and pushing a stroller because I don't drive so I hike the kids everywhere (baby strapped to me, toddler in a stroller). I'm not in horrible shape, just lacking tone, I think. What if I did 200 squats a day instead of 100? :D
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 9388712
Thread: Fitness |OT| A New Era Begins
And all those instagram squat accounts people post had me so optimistic too! Bummer. Maybe I'll work in some of those lunges you mentioned. Ab-wise, I could certainly do push-ups. My arms look all right (there's definition/they're firm from all the baby lifts), but I'm definitely lacking in strength and if it'll nudge the abs a bit too that wouldn't be a bad thing. I don't think I'll be able to do the ab wheel for a while, though. For weighted loads, I truck the kids out almost every day, and M-W-F I'm hiking them to the 2yr old's school which is just under a mile away + shopping later. There's no lack of exercise there. I lost the 30lbs I'd gained during the pregnancy in a month and a half. I heartily recommend kids for anyone who wants to lose weight. In fact, I'm happy to rent mine out any time. ;) For #4, I'm wounded. J/k. We'll see. I'm not the most motivated of people when it comes to working out (I prefer to just play soccer or something), but I might have more free time when the baby ages up a bit. Maybe 2019 resolution? And burpees? You madman. Thanks for all the detailed advice, VC!
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 218131
Thread: IronERA | OT | vol. 1 mise en place
Why am I making Macaroni Gratin at 10PM? Because video games. Because video games. -_-
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/218131/
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 157948
Thread: IronERA | OT | vol. 1 mise en place
Same! I know I didn't post all that often before, but I always kept an eye on the thread. Can't wait to see more awesome recipes/meals from everyone. :) There you are! And zbarron~ Let the food porn commence!
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2018-07-06
H.Protagonist 101657
Thread: IronERA | OT | vol. 1 mise en place
Lovely~ Cheers, Bento. One of my main stickied threads. <3
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/101657/
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2018-07-05
H.Protagonist 9846229
Thread: Abandoned - Toys R Us
I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys R Us kid they got a million toys at Toys R Us that I can play with I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys R Us kid they got the best for so much less, it'll really flip your lid From bikes to trains to video games it's the biggest toy store there is~ I don't wanna grow up, cause maybe if I did I couldn't be a Toys R Us kid...
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9846229/
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2018-07-05
H.Protagonist 5957812
Thread: AusERA |OT| 2017
I couldn't find a cricket OT so I guess this is the best place... Anyone else watch the Aus/SA match today? Unbelievable. What the heck, Smith! D:
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/5957812/
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2018-07-05
H.Protagonist 5963073
Thread: AusERA |OT| 2017
Thanks, J. Yeah. It's not a good look. I just can't understand why they did it. The basic 'need' to cheat aside, there are cameras everywhere. It's ridiculous. Who possibly thought it was worth it...? :(
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2018-07-05
H.Protagonist 10024031
Thread: Let's revisit the 'Two sentence horror stories'
My husband's always nagging me about using the handyman for every little problem, so I buried him in the garden. He was right--some things you have to do yourself.
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