2018-07-11
Chronospherics 10271239
Thread: If all the major Sony titles are "the same" what do you think they should do next gen?
I'd like to see more vibrant, creative games. Games that feel that they've been brought to life from a comic book. Ratchet and Clank and Spiderman feel that way, but we've lost a lot of cool, colourful titles like Wipeout, Motorstorm, Jak, Sly Cooper, etc. I think they're sitting on a gold mine with some of these IPs, and they should be looking for ways to leverage them with third party developers.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/10271239/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/2CxYB
2018-07-09
Chronospherics 10188921
Thread: Understanding What's Happening on Screen: What Issues Do You Encounter When Spectating Esports?
I'm working on an article that's writing about video game spectatorship from the perspective of usability and understandability. Anecdotally, I often hear people report issues that they encounter following what's going on on the screen. One of the bars go to in Brighton often streams matches from the Overwatch League, and despite various improvements, people still frequently report difficulty understanding what exactly is happening at any one time. Similarly, I've heard people struggle to follow the action in Rainbow Six Siege. I've always found things like fighting games easy to follow. Particularly games like Street Fighter and Tekken, which don't have a myriad of hidden bars and systems. Although spectators might not appreciate all of the mechanics behind a combo, or special move execution, they can easily get an understanding of what's happening on screen. They can tell who is winning or losing in an instant. But within other genres, like FPS, where each player has their own perspective, people experience more difficulty keeping track of what's going on, especially those that are new to the game. With this in mind...
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/10188921/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/iOqLk
2018-07-09
Chronospherics 10189128
Thread: Understanding What's Happening on Screen: What Issues Do You Encounter When Spectating Esports?
I find even CS and similar have their issues. Yes the action is inherently more readable because the maps are quite clear, but in some instances everything happens so quickly that it's inherently difficult to give the spectator a clear perspective of everything that's going down. I've seen rounds before where I've watched the player I'm spectating get shot, then suddenly it's all over. Everyone on one team is dead in a moments notice.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/10189128/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/jQ5L1
2018-07-09
Chronospherics 10190404
Thread: Understanding What's Happening on Screen: What Issues Do You Encounter When Spectating Esports?
Yeah this can be a good option for some games, though less accessible for a lot of people as you have to actually run the game to spectate. Not good for group spectatorship either.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/10190404/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/wFKYH
2018-07-09
Chronospherics 10190508
Thread: Understanding What's Happening on Screen: What Issues Do You Encounter When Spectating Esports?
Interesting, yes that's my thinking too personally. I think part of the problem with some of these games as esports aren't tied to the games themselves, but developing an effective broadcasting structure for how casters should be handling the streams.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/10190508/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/Juqbn
2018-07-09
Chronospherics 9944623
Thread: Why are there no famous indies similar to Mario 2D?
I think the closest things are games like these... Rad Rogers Giana Sisters Max: The Curse of the Brotherhood Shovel Knight Mickeys Castle of Illusion Rayman Origins & Legends LittleBigPlanet series In general I think indies who want to make their own games want to make slightly more ambitious titles. I don't mean to say that in a way that discredits the Mario games, but often indies have a story to tell or some epic plan for their intertwining level design. I'm not saying it's easy to design traditional Mario styled games, but I think it's more challenging to design a good metroidvania. Backtracking is a pet peve of many players so to design a game which interlinks and flows naturally, affording good pacing is inherently difficult.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9944623/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/87KAJ
2018-07-09
Chronospherics 2728973
Thread: How Much Am I Spending On Video Games
I remember when IGN lists used to include prices of games, so you could add your collection and it would track the average sale price for you. Pretty neat feature. Anyway, I don't have time, or the memory to do this, but I know I used to spend about £4,000 - 6,000 a year, but I spend a lot less now. Only since I started working full time though.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2728973/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/aapBq
2018-07-09
Chronospherics 9986783
Thread: Big Damn Hero moments in games
I like the bit where Starkiller takes down a Star Destroyer with force
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9986783/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/bc4B7
2018-07-09
Chronospherics 9984441
Thread: Layden: WWS's structure is the only one that delivers AAA-content across the 3 regions (US/EU/JPN)
Didn't Square Enix have this before they sold IO interactive?
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9984441/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/NE4d9
2018-07-09
Chronospherics 9874833
Thread: Game Purchases You Regretted Minutes In
Hard to understand this complaint. For one, you saw what it looked like before you bought it, and it has more depth and content than any mobile game I've played. I don't think it's fantastic or terrible, i just imagine it's easy to regret purchases if you create some fantasy expectations.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9874833/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/BS32a
2018-07-09
Chronospherics 545469
Thread: Assassin's Creed Origins |OT| Stalking in Memphis
Posted my impressions before and they were quite negative, but I'm coming around to the game. Having a lot of fun with the overall world, and love exploring. Doesn't bother me so far that I need to do sidequests in between main missions, particularly because there are so many of them, and you can do all sorts of other activities too. I really like avenging random people online, I think it's a neat feature that adds a fair amount of replayability to the game. The visuals still bug me a bit. Even on the PS4 PRO and ONE X, there's quite a bit of aliasing. Not sure why they couldn't afford a good AA solution. I'd sacrifice framerate for it, if needs be.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/545469/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/dioDv
2018-07-09
Chronospherics 415707
Thread: Gran Turismo SPORT | OT | Putting it all on the line
Ahh damn, these screenshots really make me want to pick this up. Just can't justify it after just buying Mario, Assassins Creed and Call of Duty. I guess I should buy GT over Call of Duty, but I can't see that happening.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/415707/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/1worw
2018-07-09
Chronospherics 430834
Thread: Assassin's Creed Origins |OT| Stalking in Memphis
It's more about the general presentation of the game. I personally didn't find BOTW stutters and freezes during combat, the framerate may be inconsistent, but I wouldn't say it stutters and freezes, at least now for me. In AC the issues are more persistently glaring, such as generally poor animation. Heck, on one of the early cutscenes on a sidequest with a child, I had a torch out before the cutscene, at the start of the cutscene there was a floating torch in front of my character, for a moment, which then extinguished. The game is just full of weird jank like that, that I personally, just haven't seen in other games. As for Watch Dogs, I don't know. I found it to be pretty polished overall, bare in mind I'm playing all of these on a PRO, and overall found Watch Dogs 2 kept a good framerate. It also features consistently good animations, and generally top notch visual presentation throughout the game.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/430834/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/PKofx
2018-07-09
Chronospherics 419771
Thread: Assassin's Creed Origins |OT| Stalking in Memphis
So, in terms of stealth I haven't played the game all that much. There are obvious pros and cons to being able to OHK people, regardless of their level. I imagine players that enjoyed AC for its stealth gameplay, and don't appreciate the RPG mechanics, would have preferred a game where they could just focus on what they enjoy. An issue, I would say. Is that while you can take out a camp of higher level enemies in combat, simply by avoiding their attacks, to my knowledge (bearing in mind I'm not too far into the game) you cannot take out the camp, via stealth. This thereby, biases the players playstyle towards all out combat, because while hard to take on tougher foes, at least it's possible (unlike stealth, where you don't kill them, and they reveal you). Either way, I have not felt that this games stealth was remarkably better than that of its predecessors (but not explicitly worse either). Something else to bare in mind is that I skipped Syndicate and Unity. I'm not sure if the game does have better AI. In my experience I've already had a tremendous number of issues with AI pathfinding across uneven, rocky surfaces. Yes, I do think what Ubisoft output here is technically inadequate. It doesn't meet the standards of the triple A games that are popular in the market right now, titles like Breath of the Wild, Odyssey, Horizon, GTA, and even some of Ubisoft's own like Watch Dogs 2. In terms of content and scope, it's all there in Origins, but the polish isn't. One of the most obvious examples of this are the games animations, they stuttter, slide and generally lack the weight and pacing that they should posses, it looks like they're using crudely cleaned up motion capture data, and that just isn't something that happens unless your game is rushed out of the door.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/419771/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/fnIET
2018-07-09
Chronospherics 415862
Thread: Assassin's Creed Origins |OT| Stalking in Memphis
Playing this on a PS4 PRO and it really doesn't look all that great. Perhaps the biggest problem is the general visual inconsistency. Even though some objects look nice, others look awful or poor. It's not just texture resolutions either but things like animations, which often stutter as if they're using motion capture data which hasn't been cleaned up appropriately, or clipping, where your outfits clip into the environment, appearing awkward. Even if some of the game looks decent, when taken holistically, it just underwhelms. It doesn't come close to games like Horizon. Heck, even if we ignore how bad it often looks in motion, it falls far short of looking anything like what games like Horizon, or even Ubisoft's own Wildland's offers. It seems as though Ubisoft's engines are faultering, struggling to keep up with the rest of the industry, at the same time, their development studios are stuggling to push out new titles at the rate that's expected of their franchises, while maintaining a high level of polish. Ghost Recon Wildlands', Assassins Creed, Far Cry 5 all have their share of issues. In general, Far Cry 5 (which I played at EGX) gave similar vibes, with underwhelming technical performance. Technical quality aside, story and gameplay just seem okay. The reinvented combat system is nothing to rave about, it's a lock on system that works, but visual fluidity is often cumbered by the aforementioned awkward animations. Stealth is the same as it always was, perhaps a little worse now, since you can't always OHK a guard due to level based differences between you and him. I mean, overall the game is fine. It looks okay despite some occasional jankiness, it plays well enough to be enjoyable, and the new RPG systems add compelling depth to the games progression that wasn't present in the previous entries. It's worth playing if you like AC, but it doesn't represent the progression that the series really needs right now if Ubisoft want it to remain relevant.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/415862/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/QM3ge
2018-07-09
Chronospherics 416670
Thread: Assassin's Creed Origins |OT| Stalking in Memphis
I felt Horizon's lighting looked pretty realistic overall. Not really given this games lighting much thought to be honest. I think lighting is probably something I'd appreciate if I could get over all of the other janky visuals. Not really paying attention to lighting and shadows while the main characters hands are clipping through a rock while I climb etc.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/416670/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/3BIsU
2018-07-09
Chronospherics 10176318
Thread: Does Capcom still deserve the hate?
I like a lot of the games they've released recently but Capcom games have really poor UX. Monster Hunter and SFV are straight up painful experiences at times.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/10176318/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/RPIgV
2018-07-08
Chronospherics 9949526
Thread: The Switch version of Crash Bandicoot Trilogy is the fastest selling Switch game in the UK this year
Crash seems like it has had a huge impact on the UK generally. Like, I see people wearing Crash Bandicoot t-shirts and whatnot, more often than I see Mario stuff. I think the UK really bought into Crash and Spyro back in the 90s.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9949526/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/i5uf2
2018-07-08
Chronospherics 9953007
Thread: The Switch version of Crash Bandicoot Trilogy is the fastest selling Switch game in the UK this year
Yeah. I was actually in the elevator with a guy just two days ago who was wearing a t-shirt with the Crash Bandicoot trilogy artwork on the front. I asked if he had played the remaster and he said no, he didn't own a console but he just really loved crash. Just anecdotal stuff but you see it all the time in the UK.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9953007/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/IIOFo
2018-07-08
Chronospherics 10042231
Thread: Absolver is wonderful, you should play it
I've given this a go a few times, but I just can't get into it. I feel like I don't understand the move properties very well just by playing and experimenting, and I'm also just not a huge fan of the overall look of the game. Animations often feel quite underwealming. Getting a hit doesn't feel that different to blocking one. As far as this type of game goes, I had a lot more fun with For Honor.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/10042231/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/8l84K
2018-07-07
Chronospherics 10008517
Thread: Fox n Forests dev:“Switch is our strongest platform to date”3:1 sales ratio with PC and 4:1 with PS4
Plus the PS store is painful to use. If you want to sell via discovery you need to make browsing a pleasure, but it's not. The PS store is awful. I imagine a lot of users avoid using it to discover new content, and only use it to buy games they're already aware of. The stores poor usability likely causes Sony to lose millions of $ per year.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/10008517/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/lOjXr
2018-07-07
Chronospherics 9999343
Thread: Fox n Forests dev:“Switch is our strongest platform to date”3:1 sales ratio with PC and 4:1 with PS4
On PS4, within a week it was buried by random games. It doesn't help that new games pages are now buried under several pages of pre-orders.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9999343/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/mQYX8
2018-07-06
Chronospherics 10097709
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
Best counters are Makoa, Androxus and Jenos, as they have moves that pass through the shield. You can get an incredible amount of damage through his shield with Androxus by using reversal on Terminus' ultimate attack. 3000 damage right back at him, and he'll usually die all over again.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/10097709/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/Mujnu
2018-07-06
Chronospherics 9986156
Thread: Jonathan Blow is designing his own programming language for game development
He's been doing this for quite some time, this isn't new news. I guess the beta is? I don't have a good understanding of this stuff unfortunately, so listening to Blow talk about it doesn't mean much to me. A couple of industry friends of mine have strong criticisms of the philosophy behind his programming language though. Those criticisms aren't uncommon either. Here's an example:
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9986156/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/EvRqU
2018-07-06
Chronospherics 10089965
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
Yeah of course. Shouldn't the commendation system help with Overwatch too? I think OW is going to have it as a more persistent problem because the issue there is that people are switching all the time, so they fuck the team comp up on the fly at any time.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/10089965/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/4KDYY
2018-07-06
Chronospherics 2513661
Thread: ELEX is one of the best RPGs of 2017
I want this but I don't want to pay more than £20 for it, because I think there's a good chance I won't enjoy it, and £35 (current price on PSN) is a lot to pay.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2513661/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/oJssS
2018-07-06
Chronospherics 10086125
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
I wonder if they could provide some sort of incentive for making a good selection. Perhaps you could get an xp bonus if your team starts a game with one of each class type. Because it is stupid at the moment. So many players seem to play this game as if they exist in some sort of vacuum.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/10086125/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/V11vu
2018-07-06
Chronospherics 10063227
Thread: Has anyone else lost interest in Fighting games?
Yeah I guess the new Guilty Gear is pretty cool, just haven't really gotten into it.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/10063227/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/x4zID
2018-07-06
Chronospherics 9556293
Thread: Easy Allies have reached $50k/month on Patreon!
Good for them. They're some of the only gaming personalities that I don't find insufferable.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9556293/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/5MeCh
2018-07-06
Chronospherics 2098075
Thread: Everything You Need to Know about Dreams.
Looks great. Easily my most anticipated game of 2018.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2098075/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/FqJJG
2018-07-06
Chronospherics 9821558
Thread: Life is Strange Community Thread: Arcadia Baes
Thanks for posting this here. Here's a direct link to the tweet for those that might be interested. Chloe is actually a colleague of mine at Player Research but she's still finishing up her Gender & Media Studies MSc.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9821558/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/ZTUJ5
2018-07-06
Chronospherics 8867876
Thread: Yoku's Island Express |OT| He's A Dung Ball Wizard, There's Got To Be A Twist...
Keen to give this a go. Glad to see it's getting a good reception. Would be nicer if the OT was more legible. Definitely a case of form over function. Nice GIFs as always though.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/8867876/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/wHoqF
2018-07-06
Chronospherics 2651450
Thread: Your controversial gaming opinions?
Crash Team Racing is better than any Mario Kart game released to date.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2651450/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/fsS23
2018-07-06
Chronospherics 2652455
Thread: Your controversial gaming opinions?
It's just my opinion but, for me, it has a really high skill ceiling with the timing based boost mechanics, and the way that boost can be stored briefly. Mario Kart touched upon similar mechanics with double dash and ds, which are the best MK games, but the waggling to boost always felt a little crude, and in general, I just preferred the timing based mechanics of CTR. As far as graphics go, I think CTR looks pretty nice. Less smooth than Diddy Kong racing perhaps, but it has a lot more detail. Comparing it to Diddy Kong Racing, the tracks are also a lot more intricate, and the game itself, has much more mechanical depth. Diddy Kong is a feature packed game, but the handling model isn't especially good and there's no intricate mechanics for advanced players to enjoy moment to moment (no drift / boosting system). Additionally, the powerup system isn't all that much fun either, with a set of useless weapons at the lower tier that need to be powered up to have any major effect. Diddy Kong's weapons lack the catchup mechanics that CTR and Mario Kart do (the blue shell and similar items) and that makes the game inherently, far less accessible. If someone is worse at the game, they are just worse at the game and they're going to suffer in 12th place for it. In DKR if you're in first you can just focus on the blue balloons and run the same lap over and over again till you win. It just doesn't have the same dynamics as these other kart racers. One game that doesn't come up in this comparison very often or at all is Speed Freaks on the PS1. I think that game is also better than MK64. Really fun, really nice graphics (probably better than any of the games we've listed) and in general it's just got a lot of personality.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2652455/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/4JxRL
2018-07-06
Chronospherics 196892
Thread: Your controversial gaming opinions?
I'll list them off my chest as my first post on Resetera. Just a few. I don't really hate any of those games but I just think some are not as good as others often claim. That's fine though, It's good to have different opinions.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/196892/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/8afYc
2018-07-06
Chronospherics 7915453
Thread: Eurogamer: Leaks suggest Retro Studios making Star Fox racing spin-off (also heard by EG's sources)
I don't really get the complaints. People ask for more arcade racers all the time. Why not Starfox?
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/7915453/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/hQV8N
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 6902004
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
My girlfriend came home upset last night, I was playing some online video game at the time and didn't initially notice she was upset and made my housemate answer the door to her. As soon as I saw her though, I could tell something was wrong, so I dropped out of my multiplayer game and told her to talk with me upstairs. She was upset, feeling that she's being bullied at work. I sat with her for a couple of hours, tried to cheer her up and whatnot, mostly just by listening to her and being affectionate. I went to make dinner for us both after that, and during dinner she decided to tell me that she loved me. I haven't said this to her yet, and I didn't know what to say. I do like her, but at the same time I don't think that everything is perfect with our relationship. I kind of get the impression that she uses me from time to time. Like, sometimes I'll have had a bad day, come home from work and she'll want me to cook dinner for her. I do it, and she'll complain that something wasn't right about it, or something like that. I've spoken to her about this type of thing, but I'm not certain I can feel like I love someone that treats me like that on a pretty regular basis. I told her that I have treated her as though I loved her since we met, I asked her if she felt loved, and she agreed, and I told her that I just didn't want to say it until I felt everything was right with us, explaining those issues. She said she felt embarrassed and wanted to take it back, said that she felt vulnerable and I made her feel safe, so she said she loved me without thinking. I didn't really pay much attention to this. I don't think you can really undo what you've said in that kind of circumstance. In any case, when I left her to go to work this morning she said 'I do love you', so I don't think there's any ambiguity there. Truth be told, I'm happy with her, I enjoy her company, but I don't honestly know if I'll ever, consistently feel like I love her. Sometimes I feel it, but it's not as easy as it has been in relationships in the past. I suppose the thing is, although I make her feel loved, she doesn't make me feel that way - the way she acts, doesn't make me feel like she cares for me at times. Ironic then, that she said it first.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/6902004/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/Msnts
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 6908163
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Thanks for the reply. It's something I'll have to think about. She can be really kind, in the past she's made dinner for myself and 10+ friends, but in general those gestures are more isolated, coming from her. She displayed a lot of passionate and emotional affection, but not physical in terms of going out of her way to do something nice for me. I don't mind looking after the girl that I'm with, especially emotionally, but I'm not really interested in running petty errands for her and whatnot. It's in fairly stark contrast to my ex, who used to do things like write little notes and sneak them into my pockets, made sure she took care of everything if I had a hard day, etc. I'm not sure if it's right, or wrong to expect that type of thing, but generally I expect to take care of my partner, and the same in turn. Actually, I don't think whether your damaged or not really has a lot to with it. While my ex's were all damaged in certain ways, they were all very different in terms of how they behaved, how caring they were, etc. Everyone's different and they respond and recover from their trauma in different ways.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/6908163/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/b5HSO
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 10042299
Thread: Rachet & Clank (2016) is Insomniac's most successful game.
That's great news. I hope that means we'll get another Ratchet and Clank game in the future? Definitely think people still want them. Would love to see a new, ambitious Ratchet and Clank title. Bring the multiplayer back perhaps?
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/10042299/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/jB7aA
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9788377
Thread: Reminder: Gravity Rush 2 online servers going down July 18, 2018
Could someone explain to me what I would need to do to get everything? I think I still have my completed save data, so if I pick the game up again on Friday, can I easily get everything before they take the servers down?
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9788377/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/OkgPM
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9786956
Thread: Reminder: Gravity Rush 2 online servers going down July 18, 2018
So silly that the servers for this are going down. It's one of Sony's current gen, first party titles. They should be supporting it for much longer on principle. I shouldn't have to buy Sony's games and worry if they're going to be supported in a year. Outdated FIFA games get better support than this.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9786956/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 3982370
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Quite a while since I've spoken about this, but I took the girl (Amy) I've been seeing to meet my family last weekend. It's quite a way away and I don't see my family very often so it's kind of a big deal for me. They've only seen one of my ex's before and that was the girl I was engaged to. Anyway, Amy had a really good time, my mum and her got on quite well. We had a conversation afterwards, about how I'm supposed to be moving away to Canada, and neither of us really want to be apart. We talked about it at length and I suggested I would delay my application and wait for her to get a Visa herself (there's no reason she isn't eligible for one). We've started living together too. She's been at my house for the past 20 days or so, and we're both really comfortable being around each other without any major issues. So we're going to get a flat together and save money to go travelling in South America. I'm sure some of you think this sounds silly, as I've only known her for 3-4 months, but I've made a lot of impulsive decisions in my life and none of them have lead me anywhere that I didn't want to be. Not all of them have been the right decision, but I've always been able to figure things out. Staying in Brighton an extra year isn't going to kill me, I have my dream job here and my colleagues are some of the nicest people I've ever met, and I'd like to go to Montreal with this girl if everything works out. If it turns out that we don't get on after a few more months, and living together doesn't work out, I can adapt and change my plans. She's a nice girl and I like her a lot. She's happy to travel with me, wants children and a family just like I do. She plays video games I like, enjoys the cinema, cartoons and various TV shows that I like too. Similar taste in food, music, and she's generally kind a kind hearted person. She's also strong willed and has a mind of her own, which I really like as this was something my ex lacked. Hopefully I'm making the right choice. I spoke to my work about it, and they were actually much more supportive and understanding than I expected. They told me it was all good and that they were happy for me, but to also ensure I keep pursuing the opportunity. I do still want to go to Montreal, and I'm not throwing that away for her, I'm just accommodating her into my life.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/3982370/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/uvHCB
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 3889981
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Conversation about self harm went better than I anticipated. We were in a bar and mid conversation she pointed at my arm and said, what are these? Did you used to self harm? It was a bit of an awkward place to talk about it, not private at all, but I didn't want to lie. I said "Yes, that's what they are, I used to cut myself". She smiled and told me that she did too. Down her legs, but the scars have healed. She said it was a fashion thing because she was a goth, I said that didn't make sense. Girls cut their legs to conceal the scars, not because it's fashionable. She smiled and hugged me, and we carried on with dinner. She seemed really happy that evening.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/3889981/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 3893705
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I don't ask questions like that personally. For me I don't really care. Only thing I might ask is if they've ever cheated on someone, as I won't date anyone that has.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/3893705/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 3896950
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
The way she said you were asking about sex makes it sound like you were asking more than just about past relationships to be honest.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/3896950/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 3697161
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
The girl I'm seeing was having issues with her wisdom teeth last night, lots of pain. I'd not seen her like that before, and she was kind of closed off at first, asking me to leave her be and simply curling up into a fetal position. I talked to her about it, and told her that I was used to looking after people. Like my mother did for me when I was a child. She couldn't sleep as a result of the pain, so I got her pain killers and stroked her hair for 2 hours to help distract her from it. She was pretty enamoured by my support. Like she'd never seen anything like it. Isn't it normal? If someone you're with is in pain I'd always do anything to try and make it better for them. We actually ended up having sex a little while after. In my experience sex is actually a really good painkiller.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/3697161/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 3693893
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
It doesn't take much 'thinking' to decide to be speculative of someones responses when a pose a scenario where they have only one viable response. Not to say it really matters though, I would just remain cautious of any signs that they were becoming attached to me if that wasn't what I wanted. Many of the women I've been out with didn't have anything at all in their Tinder profiles. I wouldn't think much of it, though I do find it easier to connect with people that have details in their profile. I've also not encountered a bot on Tinder. I wonder if it's based on your location / where you're searching for partners? Or maybe I just don't swipe on those kind of profiles.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/3693893/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 3601482
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
If you ask her out over a telephone support line you could probably lose your job. As a support technician I'm sure you have access to a lot of her details, her number, her address perhaps, etc, none of which she has given you so that you can try to initiate any romantic advances. Situations you're in create things like this: where the guy clearly gets the wrong idea, and breaches the woman's privacy. How do you to bump into someone by coincidence? That doesn't make much sense to me. I guess if I was in that situation I might give her my personal number and let her initiate something if she's interested. But I wouldn't make an advance, and I wouldn't to bump into someone and call it a coincidence.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/3601482/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 3601651
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I would make an effort to find some time. Otherwise, occasional messages, photos, and maybe try and call her? If I'm not with a girl I like to make her wonder what I'm doing, where I am, etc. If I'm going to call a girl it's usually when I'm longboarding, because it gives us something to talk about and makes her think I'm not just sat around at home all day.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/3601651/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 3607251
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Ask girls things like that when the conversation is in a good place. When you tell a joke and make her laugh, or something like that.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/3607251/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 3613548
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I don't think she's necessarily conflating the two. Obviously she does have less experience, but I think that often just makes it easier to feel, that doesn't mean that those feelings aren't genuine. Two of my long term relationships started with the girl telling me she loved me within a month of us dating, and both of those relationships were pretty healthy (breaking up after two and five years, because we both wanted to go in different directions with our lives). Either way, if you dismiss how she feels, treat her as if she's inexperienced, and that her feelings are wrong, generated only as a result of her inexperience, then it'll likely turn out pretty badly for both of you.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/3613548/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 3658365
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
What else would she say. If I get knocked back by girls they tend to say they aren't looking for a relationship right now, and I tend to tell them I'm relieved because I wasn't either. Inversely, I've had girls do the same to me, when they were looking for a relationship and I've expressed not being interested. I'm not saying that what she said isn't necessarily true, but I wouldn't take things like that at face value. If she wanted a relationship, by expressing that you didn't, you place her into a position where her doing anything but agreeing makes the connection between the two of you feel inequal.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/3658365/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 3484842
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I tend to just smile and say hey. It's usually a bar so I ask if they want something to drink. Girls tend to go in for a hug pretty often, so I do too if I get that vibe.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/3484842/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 3486432
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Maybe she was being genuine but she was only going out for a night out? I used to know girls at University that would just go on random dates for something to do, but they weren't interested in dating. Sometimes they'd sleep with the guy, sometimes it'd be a free dinner, but they'd never follow up on the date.
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 3496181
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I would just call her and speak to her, personally. I would act like nothing was wrong when I called, and just ask her out again. If she blew you off I'd follow up with your line of questioning, asking if everything was alright, if all is fine, I'd tell her to let me know when she's free and stop messaging her. If she said she's not interested, I'd just leave it at that.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/3496181/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 3157976
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I find it's not just about the fear of rejection with women but the fear of failure in life generally. It's better if you can let go of your inhibitions. One of the things that helped me with that as a kid was skating, getting used to falling over in public if I made a mistake. It helped me not care about what people think, or whether I fail. Will Smith's advice is somewhat generic in that video, but it's pretty on point. You have to live at the edge of your capabilities, at the point where you feel uncomfortable, because that's how you grow and adapt.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/3157976/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 3158240
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Yeah that's what I mean, you don't just have to date a shit load of women to get used to rejection, there's loads of things you can do to get used to failure very quickly, and it can help build a lot of confidence. Being a charity worker, is another example. People ignore you for days.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/3158240/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 3174030
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
You have to start seeing doing better as success. Take dating for instance, let's say you're an anxious person. If you find yourself really anxious on your first date with a girl, then if you can reduce that feeling of anxiety, and talk a little more freely, then that's a win. If you connect with the girl, that's a bonus, the point is that you're developing in a forward direction, you have to learn to take gratification from that.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/3174030/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 3091004
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I mean, I don't enjoy relationships without intimacy. Intimacy itself, is what makes relationships worthwhile for me. I like sex, but I only enjoy it if I feel a strong connection with the person. I also don't see how it's selfish if both people are okay with the situation.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/3091004/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 3112111
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Just means you both use two sites, really. I mentioned that to a girl before and it didn't go anywhere, heh.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/3112111/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 3112493
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I wouldn't think much of the fact that you've matched on two, but if you've been talking to her and like doing that then go for it. I wouldn't waste much time talking on whatever app you're using though, just ask her out.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/3112493/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 3114446
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Do you mean another dating app? OKCupid is pretty popular, and in general I found it easier to talk to people on there. Less hookups on OKC, more people looking for relationships (in my experience).
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/3114446/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 3114827
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
With that said, I got more dates from tinder, just because there are more people. The people on OKC are in my experience, easier to strike conversation with, but there's just a lot less people on there than there is on tinder. Yeah, feel free to share your experiences here.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/3114827/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 3083960
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Still seeing that girl I mentioned before. Still planning on leaving Brighton to move to Montreal. Still don't really see any possible future for the relationship. Both of us aware of this, and growing progressively more attached to one another. It feels kind of messed up to pursue this, and spend so much time together, but I'm having a good time with her. I enjoy talking to her, I enjoy playing video games with her, I enjoy sex and intimacy with her.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/3083960/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 3085824
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
We actually tend to talk about it to some extent, every time we meet up. There's no ambiguity that if my Visa application goes through successfully, I'm going to leave. Are you sure a relationship can't be a good thing, even if it'll hurt in the end? Short term relationships aren't a terrible thing to get involved in, as far as I'm aware.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/3085824/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 3030194
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Nice one dude, sounds like you had a really good time.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/3030194/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2873350
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
It doesn't mean it's a hard market for dudes at all. It's actually hard for girls too. The reason they have 70% match rates is because the majority of men I know that use tinder, swipe right on every single girl. This then makes the whole 'match' system' useless for women. It doesn't mean they like you, it doesn't mean they want to go out with you, it doesn't mean anything beyond that they saw your profile. The girl might have 370 messages waiting for her, but any guy she messages back has also messaged 370 different girls (on average, in that scenario). The guy will only decide if they actually like that girl, once the girl replies to the message, because then the girl is interested, and then the ball is in your court to decide if your even interested in her. Quite a few of the girls I was going out with over the last few months talked to me about how useless the app was, in detail. The girl I'm seeing at the moment, showed me her tinder, she had 170 messages that just said 'hey', 'hi' or other copy and pasted shit. I asked her why she replied to me, and you could see, I was one of like, 2% of guys, that actually wrote her a personalised message. She described it as 'you seemed normal compared to the rest', and I didn't go into detail on that, but I suspect it's because I made an effort to relate to her in my first message, based on information on her profile. By swiping right on every girl, men effectively take control away from women on Tinder, as they only have to reply to those that are interested in them too. Women have the effortful minefield of actually looking at profiles and figuring out if they like the person, only to match with everyone and have none of them really mean anything. You can even get apps that will swipe right on every girl, and send pre-configured messages. This is more painful if you're an unattractive women, because you have several hundred matches and messages, and none of them really mean anything.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2873350/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2856187
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Personally I think girls tend to love a good poem. Not to say it's an appropriate time to send one. I wouldn't pursue the long distance relationship personally.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2856187/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2801382
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I ended up messaging Amy some more today, after she messaged me asking how my day was, but I guess I was a little negative. I was talking about how I might be moving away, and she was saying how she finds it confusing, but she's trying not to get attached to me. I told her I can't do that, I can't spend time with her and not get attached to her. She asked me if I wanted to stop seeing her, so that I don't get attached. I kind of ignored the question and answered something else she'd asked at the same time. She asked me if I wanted to see her tomorrow, I guess I didn't really reply. I mean. It's not like I ignored these questions for long, maybe a couple of minutes, I was going to reply to both of them... Either way, she called me. She sounded a little tearful. Said I was acting weird, and asked if I wanted to stop seeing her. She was stuttering a little bit as she was speaking. I told her I did want to keep seeing her, and that I was sorry for being weird. That I didn't mean to make it seem like I didn't want to see her, that I wanted to see her tomorrow. She seemed to cheer up / stop being awkward, we talked about Canada for a bit. She talked about how she would want to come too, but she talked about being worried that if she left, she couldn't come back, because she doesn't have family here. She joked that I should marry her. We ended the call, I sent her a message telling her that hearing her voice puts me in a good mood.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2801382/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2804077
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Actually posting here really helps me reason out my thoughts, and post like yours really help me keep my thoughts on track, and honestly keep me in check. Not at all, this is good advice man.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2804077/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2804277
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Something I would note is that ever since I started speaking to her, I told her I was moving. Within the first 20 messages or so, I made this clear. I didn't wait till she seemed attached to drop it on her. She knew I was leaving, and she chose to date me, exclusively. She chooses to spend weekends at my house. I'm not trying to hurt her, I do enjoy my time with her, a lot. And there is a L on my end. If I grow attached to her and I leave then that's going to hurt me too.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2804277/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2810721
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Well to be honest I would say I'm already pretty attached to her. I wouldn't spend 4/7 days of the week with her if I wasn't. I'm just as bad as she is, really. I shouldn't have started dating someone knowing I was planning on moving, and she shouldn't have dated someone that made it clear they were moving away.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2810721/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2811295
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I meant to reply to this sooner, sorry man. So, it really depends on your own personal taste but I find just being outgoing, and going to as many events related to things your interesting as possible really helps you meet new people. Just go into everything looking to make new friends, and you'll find you have lots of people to talk to, and then occasionally you'll meet a nice girl and you can try and approach her. Again, this is me, but I go to lots of gaming events and meet people through that. I go out with people from work, meet their friends, I go to Street Fighter tournaments, and gaming expos, I go to retro gaming nights at bars in town (there's quite a few that host this in Brighton), and it's easy to relate to people at those kinds of places because you have a shared interest. But for me, I have used a fair bit of online dating and like you said, cast a wide net. What I would recommend if you're not getting results is trying to do something to address that. I probably swiped over 3,000 women and got matched on 173 of them when I was using Tinder, but even if I was getting less, it'd still be productive, it just means it would take a little longer to find someone nice. The most important thing is just not giving up, and you don't have to spend much money to do that. I mean there's no real reason to spend money on something like tinder, except maybe on tinder gold if you live in a big city and want to swipe more. Obviously, you can also approach girls in bars, and clubs, but personally I've never done that and I've never had trouble finding a partner. For some people it makes sense, but for me I think it's hard to relate to people in those kind of places. A lot of girls there are looking for a one night stand and similar, and it's more difficult to discern what they're looking for, because some aren't even looking for dating at all (at least on tinder, the girls are usually single, for instance). Plus, personally I personally just find it faster to sift through people with online dating. Is there anything you could do to improve your online dating profile? Definitely try that too. Try some new photos, maybe go to the gym and work out, etc.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2811295/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2728849
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Yeah it's better in a lot of ways. Typing for one, it's nicer to type on there, than on a phone. Plus it always let me log in, that's a bonus.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2728849/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2730194
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Well, I guess leverage isn't the right word, but in general I find sharing intimate things, personal details, makes me closer to that person, and them inclined to share things of their own, making them closer to me. I didn't mean that in a negative way, though usually I've found that with girls, if I do talk about things like that, they like the idea that they're the only person I talk about that type of thing with. So often if they're not immediately freaked out by it, it actually makes you closer. I just try and flip things into a positive generally, rather than a really terrible experience, it's a way to connect with someone. Sometimes, even help someone. With one of my ex's, who self harmed herself, it helped her a lot that I could understand it.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2730194/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2747572
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Yeah, I mean I wouldn't share out of nowhere. I was thinking about it because she was naked on my bed and I was going over her body, talking about her scars, birthmarks and such. She was sharing memories / thoughts associated with each. She asked about a couple of mine, but I didn't draw any attention to those on my right arm. She's also asked a few times if I'm broken / damaged in any way. I say no, but she's said she kind of wishes I were because she likes having someone to support.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2747572/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2749496
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Probably didn't sound much better. I felt like an awkward thing to say at the time. I didn't really know what to say to it either.
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2768183
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
It's 100% a thing. I know a lot of girls that deliberately seek out partners with damaged pasts. Self-harm, depression, all sorts of shit like that, and try and 'fix them'. I think in some ways, these people expect that by fixing them, their partner will be more attached to them. Most of the girls I've been with have been really into that kind of thing, to be honest. I guess that's why I ended up moving on? If you're damaged and you fix them, then their self esteem is likely much higher, and they have the motivation to pursue what they want. With my ex, she helped me through depression and some other stuff, but after that, I guess I didn't feel like I needed her anymore. She was dependent on me, but I wasn't dependent on her... these type of people, I guess they look for a relationship where both partners will be co-dependent, but by 'fixing' their partner, they end up with a very one sided relationship which just doesn't work out. Nevertheless, I do quite like being with girls want to care for me or fix me.
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2721640
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Sorry if I caused confusion here but I didn't tell her I might be leaving with an intent to make any sort of 'play'. I made that fact clear to her on the first day I started speaking to her on whatsapp, I've always been transparent about it, I had just not mentioned it here before. When I first told her that she said 'well that gives me a few months to get to know you then xx'. Obviously, it is likely has helped escalate things a lot faster as she's aware I likely won't be here forever, I'm not oblivious to that.
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2725216
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Sorry you feel that way man, but it will get better. Have you been doing anything to try and take your mind off it? Like focusing on your hobbies? Seeing friends? Exercising?
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2726321
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
So here's something that's always on my mind when dating, that I'm not sure how to approach with a new partner. When I was younger, I used to self-harm, so my right arm is covered in scars. In my experience, eventually, a girl will ask about this, and I don't want to lie. I wonder if it's better to bring it up, as if it's something I want to share, rather than wait till they notice and ask? Also, does anyone have any experience with a partner with that type of background? Do you think it's likely to bother a girl? It was quite some time ago, more than 6 years ago. My ex used to get really upset about it, every time she really looked at them, she used to burst into tears, and talk about how she wished she had known me before, so that none of that would have happened - I don't think she ever really understood, but at least she did not judge me negatively for it. In general I do like to share this type of thing, because it puts me at ease once I have, but I also worry that it could scare someone away.
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2727929
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Yeah, I was thinking that while I typed things out. With that said, the girl I'm currently dating, her father tried to kill myself when she was younger, and she walked in and found him. So ideally. I don't want her experiencing any PTSD related to that. So if she did get a little scared by it, I wouldn't blame her. With that said, as you say, it was a long time ago. With my ex, despite being really nervous about talking to her about it for the first time, I guess I actually leveraged it as a way to be closer to her. As if it was something that only she knew about me - making her feel as if she was my confidant. That's not really true since I've always found that talking is what actually made me a lot happier, even if it's just to reason out my own thoughts, but I think people like that kind of thing.
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2728735
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Sometimes it is broken though. When I was using it a few weeks ago I was getting matches on the web version that I wasn't getting on the mobile version. And other times I just couldn't even log in for hours. I like the web browser version better, to be honest. I trust it more.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2728735/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2698592
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
So I had a good time with Amy over the last couple of days. I had breakfast with her yesterday, and we hung out throughout the day, went to a few bars, and then in the evening I took her back to mine around 9. We just hung out in bed, watched television, had sex whenever we felt like it, and slept. Probably stayed in bed for about 20 hours before she and I had to go (I went to go see friends in Portsmouth, and she had a night out planned with her girlfriends) I think it's going pretty well. Something I didn't mention before, was that I actually don't necessarily plan on staying in Brighton. I might move to Canada soon (in the next few months). I think that could be one of the reasons she's a bit worried about falling for me. On the night we met up she spoke to me about this briefly, talking about being worried about falling for me, because I'm going to move away. I told her not to worry about it, and she said 'I know how to protect my heart'. When we were hanging out, she was often cuddling up to me, and during a couple of points I noticed her humming a song - it was Elvis', 'I can't help but falling in love with you'. She didn't generally hum anything, so I thought that was a bit weird. I got her food, and other stuff, so she didn't need to leave bed. I made her breakfast for when she woke in the morning, I knew her new shoes had given her blisters so I went to the shop and got her some plasters, as well as some icecream as I know she likes it. She mentioned "I'm so happy right now" a couple of times. I got a taxi back to hers, left her there and went to the station to go meet my friends. But before I was about to get into the taxi she grabbed me and we made out. Then she walked away, for a moment, turned around again, and grabbed me, and made out. She did this three times before I told her I needed to get into the taxi... not sure what to think of that, it was a slightly odd but felt good.
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2699008
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Ah it's not that. It's just all of a sudden she was all over me, like I was about to join the army or something, y'know? She was affectionate before, but suddenly she was going crazy for me, and she couldn't just walk away. It was good, but suddenly very intense.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2699008/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2638695
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
To be fair, that's been my experience too in the past. Not so much with this girl that I'm dating at the moment, who likes having her own space and as you say, seeing each other about 3 times a week, but my ex's prior all wanted a lot more than that. My ex was fine with us playing different video games and whatnot, but in general she wanted to at least see me every day. Same with the two long term relationships I had before that. I don't mind it personally, but I know why some might dislike it. I guess it's hard to avoid.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2638695/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2685160
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I had a good couple of days with Amy. I'll post some details later.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2685160/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2618791
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I get bouts of depression but I've learned to cope much better. I used to administer some cognitive behaviour therapies to patients on the stroke ward where I worked, and just reading a lot about it really helped me apply it to myself, and where I can I try to challenge my own negative thinking, and that keeps me going. But I have bad days, and I have to explain it to girls I'm with because my right arm is covered in scars from self-harm inflicted when I was younger. It might be harder to break out of that spiral of negative thinking with bipolar, I don't know. I've not worked with anyone with bipolar and I don't have it myself, but I guess reasoning away my negative thinking is how I try and deal with it. For instance I'm meeting this girl later today, we've been talking all over Christmas, chatting on and off, lots of phone calls, but there's part of me, in the back of my mind, that's constantly telling me that I'm not worth her time, that she doesn't really want to go out with me, that I generally have low value, as a human being. I have to sit there and say to myself, 'Why would she be going out with you if she didn't want to spend time with you?', she wouldn't say yes, she wouldn't smile when she sees me, she wouldn't spend the evening cuddling me, if she didn't want to be there. Then, thinking like that can help me get back on track... Sometimes it can be really crippling though. It's not just with dating of course, it's with anything, it was the same when I was doing my PhD, I felt like I didn't deserve to be there, that I was worthless and I'd never measure up, and it's hard to deal with that sometimes. For me, it's just about finding someone that's understanding of that type of thing. That's why I tend to date girls that have had quite a rough life, because they tend to be able to relate, they don't freak out about the self-harm. I tell them I'm not depressed anymore, but I used to be, and that sometimes I still have bad days. They tend to be pretty understanding of that and it doesn't really impact my dating or relationships all that much. I mentioned before that the girl I'm dating, her mother died when she was young, her father tried to commit suicide and left her to care for herself. My ex, she was orphaned when she was born, abandoned by her mother. The girl I dated before that had ran away from her parents as soon as she was 16. I find people like that, are very understanding, but also very strong, because of what they've been through. I don't know if any of that helps you but sometimes I know it can help just to hear about the experiences of others, so I thought I would share some of mine. Feel free to talk about anything you like here, I'm sure many of us are happy to listen or offer advice if you need it.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2618791/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2620396
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
If a girl tells you she likes watching TV shows do you dislike it because you watch TV shows too? Gaming is as broad as any entertainment medium, listening to music, watching TV, reading. Just because they like doing the same type of activity doesn't mean it has to overlap with what you're doing. Just because a girl likes to play games, doesn't mean she has to play games with you, etc. With my ex, we used to have seperate TVs, and we used to play different games. She often played things like animal crossing on her 3DS, I would play Rainbow Six Siege on my PS4. But it was nice that we could both relate to what each other was doing pretty easily. That's just my perspective though, I'm not saying yours is wrong. Either way, I don't just date girls that play games, but if they don't like games, I won't date them. However, my profile on tinder, okc etc, always states my job title, and most girls aren't going to swipe right if they aren't at least okay with video games. On most of my first dates the girl has asked what my favourite video game is, it just tends to come up.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2620396/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2621436
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
By don't like them, I mean explicitly, they don't like them... I work in the games industry. I work on 50+ games per year. I visit all manner of game developers for co-design projects and whatnot, and in my spare time, I also play games. It matters if she explicitly doesn't like the thing that my life is centered around.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2621436/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2625998
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
If I was an accountant I wouldn't be going home and being an accountant some more, though (not to say some might not have that inclination). Do you find yourself want to talk about accountancy with your dates? I think some people are different. Some people have their job, company, etc closely align with their sense of identity. Others don't. I think it's fine to be either, but if you're the former, then it's difficult to separate the two. It's like if you're an artist, but your other half didn't like your art... it means they don't like something that's a huge part of who you are. I don't really care if they're interested in my job specifically. I don't want to talk about the specifics of work most of the time. I don't want to talk about playtesting logistics, qualitative data analysis, behavioural observation, interview techniques, etc all that often. But at the heart of it, the subject of our research and my interests, is video games, that, I want to talk about. With that said, I do date girls that don't play video games - just so long as they don't hate hearing about them. Because I will talk about them from time to time, just as I'd expect them to talk about whatever they're into.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2625998/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2626594
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I feel like I'm gradually fucking things up with this girl. I mentioned earlier about my general anxiety in relationships, and the thing is, I tend to call / contact her a lot more than she does, me. She's always happy to talk, but sometimes she's a little flaky. I confronted her about it on the phone today, and it got a little awkward. I was having a pretty bad day today, I guess that's why I was talking about depression on here earlier, but I was really looking forward to meeting up with Amy. She called me from work today and asked if it was okay to cancel. I told her it was fine, but we called again later in the evening and I spoke to her about how I felt. I asked her if she actually wanted to meet up at all, and why it is, that in many instances when she does call, it tends to be to tell me she's blowing me off or something like that. I didn't say this to her, but if we arrange to do something at 7, then I plan my time around that. I clear my evening, and it to an extent, it hurts if someone just cancels like that. It feels as if they don't really value my time. She didn't really say anything, she just explained she felt tired and that she did still want to meet, that's why she rearranged, but she just needed to do some things (she mentioned some feminine stuff). She asked if I didn't want to meet her, and I said I did, and then she said we'll meet tomorrow then. I said that sounded good, but in general I figure I shouldn't have mentioned anything.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2626594/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2630310
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
We've been on about 10-15 dates now, over the last 5-6 weeks. I know I overthink things, for sure. I apologised to her and said I was just having a shit day. With that said, it is annoying if a girl arranges a date, then cancels right before you're supposed to meet, especially if you've booked places to go, and things like that... maybe it's just me...
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2630310/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2631946
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I think this stuff is just over thinking it, like I was, really. I guess I encouraged you to do that by describing it as if it was a big problem, but I think I was wrong for thinking too much about it. In the 5 weeks we've been together she's blown me off on two dates with the reasoning that 'she's tired and has things she needs to do' and always rearranged for the next day. I suspect, if anything, that's just a genuine reason. It's just me being an idiot. She said she'd come over tomorrow morning instead, I shouldn't think about it any more than that. For what it's worth, the dates have escalated pretty naturally, to sex and intimacy, and emotional intimacy, and no, we don't just hang out and talk about work or hobbies. Oh, and we are exclusive. I've just had a bad day. I lost my wallet yesterday, and I woke up in a terrible mood this morning, and then I guess I was thinking meeting up with her was going to cheer me up, but she cancelled and I just didn't react in a great way. I think it'll be okay.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2631946/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2605635
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
It's not quite the same, because of how people often perceive the weight question. It's often seen as a sensitive subject, it relates to their self-esteem. In reality, the height question is arguably more offensive, because it's not something you can change. It's not something that might have stemmed from a lifestyle choice or anything like that. It's simply your genes. So to be dismissed because you're genetically inadequate relative to their standards (which admittedly is sometimes the same with weight) is pretty iffy. Both questions should be okay really. Why waste either persons time. If it's a big deal for either party then it's just easier if they know. With that said, I'd never ask a women her weight, or her height. It's usually well represented in her photos. If it isn't, then her photos were likely disingenuous, in which case I'm not interested anymore simply because she lied.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2605635/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2606444
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I don't really agree with this. I think it's perfectly fine to have an aesthetic type in mind when dating, and it makes sense to look for people that fit that. In either case, it's unlikely you'd ever know if it was your height that turned them off. Even the girls who have asked my height, have only asked 'out of curiosity', and when I've asked 'Why, does it matter?' they've said it doesn't. In reality, when I've pried later, they explained that it did actually matter, and they'd be very unlikely to date anyone shorter than them. Obviously, they've only been honest about that because at that stage, it doesn't matter, I'm taller than they are. In most cases, a girl won't even by that open. She'll just ghost you or tell you that she didn't really feel a connection, etc. In general, a girl doesn't want to hurt your feelings, so she isn't going to tell you that something you can't change is why she isn't interested in you romantically.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2606444/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2613745
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Here's the very first conversation I had with the girl I'm currently dating.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2613745/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2614091
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
She likes 1, 2 and 3. :P The reason she doesn't like 4 isn't the dialogue or watered down RPG systems though, it's because there aren't enough cool towns to explore and people to speak to, she says.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2614091/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2599668
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I don't think I could ever really ghost anyone. Like sometimes I just don't reply to one message and if the conversation dies then no big deal, but if they were actually trying to contact me I can't avoid replying. I'd feel bad, it doesn't really matter who they are or what they've done, I'd feel bad ignoring them. I'd much rather just confront the problem, personally, I know ghosting is seen as an easier way out of awkward situations but for me the idea that I just left someone without some type of closure that they might wanted is far more emotionally painful than the awkward conversation I could have with them.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2599668/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2601178
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
The only time I've come close to ghosting anyone in the last few months was a Spanish girl. We seemed to get on well via chat and she asked me if I wanted to go out sometime. I said that sounded good and she told me she'd let me know when she was free on Monday. She didn't let me know until Thursday, and but then asked how I was. She sent a follow up message asking if I wanted to go out, and I didn't reply. She seemed sweet. Really upbeat and happy. Just thinking about it makes me feel awful, but I'd just started dating that Amy girl. Amy saw one of the messages on my phone when she was in my room and made a comment 'another girl?', and I just deleted the contact.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2601178/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2603608
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
A couple of the girls I went out a few weeks ago actually asked my height before we dated because they said they wouldn't go out with someone shorter than them. So presuming you're male, you're blessed. I have a friend who's like 5'4 or something like that, and he actually gets quite upset that he's too short for most girls.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2603608/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2603704
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Bear in mind that it wasn't me with the issue. I was just offering my perspective. I know things like dinners, experiences etc are different. I wouldn't buy outright gifts for a girl like he did. Even if you have a lot of money, you get much more value out of it by spending your money on things that grant you access to shared experiences. Giving material gifts doesn't do much to bring most people closer together. And you're right, I'd never ask for it back.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2603704/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2604102
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
The girl I'm seeing is the same height as me in heels. It's fine, but she mentioned that she'll wear shorter shoes when she's with me, because she likes to feel smaller. In general, it is a good feeling when she's a little smaller. When she's wearing flats she rests on my shoulder, it's cute, and just generally feels better, than when we're the same height... I'm 6'0 or just under (above 5'11).
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2604102/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2596935
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I didn't say it was a random girl I just met. It's the girl I've been seeing over the last 4 weeks... the one that I've been playing video games with... the same one I bought Okami HD for. Her name is Amy. Are you surprised that she likes video games? Is it utterly unbelievable? Also, yeah it's not actually that hard to find a girl that's into gaming. My ex used to attend the gaming society at University, so I met her through that. I go to lots of video gaming events, etc, and you can meet girls there... but even on tinder, like there are plenty of girls on there that like games. On OKCupid you can filter by 'video games' and see what comes up (often nothing useful, but quite a lot if you live in a highly populated area). For what it's worth, I met Amy on tinder, she had a long bio, and listed video games as one of her interests. Yeah I really don't get it. Fuck, my sister loves the Witcher 3 too. I suppose she isn't real either? She even owns a load of Witcher 3 merch (mostly unofficial stuff I think). Most of my female friends like games. It's not a coincidence, people are drawn to people that they can relate to. I relate well to people that talk about games - and even if they're not quite the same type of games that I like, a lot of girls do like games, I don't know why that would surprise anyone.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2596935/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2598230
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Are any of you making new years resolutions related to dating / relationships? I changed myself a lot for my ex, so I'm making a resolution to kind of, undo all that. If that makes sense. When I met her I used to spend quite a bit of time going out with friends, drinking, and whatnot, she didn't like alcohol (because her mother abused her while drunk when she was young), so I stopped drinking. I wanted tattoos, but she really didn't like the idea of them, so I didn't pursue the idea. I used to want to go to the gym and focus on that, but she didn't really care about how I looked, and preferred I spent the time with her, so I didn't bother. My sister is my personal trainer at the gym now, she's really into fitness stuff, so it works pretty well. Going to resolve to keep at that, and it keeps me in touch with my sister, which is great. I've started saving tattoo designs I like, and I'm going to get a quote for one sometime this month - then start saving to pay for it. Drinking again, with my friends in Brighton was actually part of what contributed to the breakdown of the relationship with my ex and I, so I've got that one covered. But in general I'm resolving to work towards pushing myself into the direction I wanted to be, and away from the direction that she moulded me into over that 5 year relationship. I think it's a good resolution and working out at the gym has obvious health benefits.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2598230/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2598445
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Yeah, this. Just talk to her and don't be weird if she doesn't reciprocate because I'm sure you both want to retain the friendship. I tend to. For me, I think compromise is a big part of a long term relationship. You both mould to each other a bit. She certainly changed for me too, she became more feminine, she engaged with my interests that she might not otherwise be interested in. A more practical thing, but I have a bad back and my ex took massage lessons to learn how to help me with that - changing yourself in certain ways can be a really good way of showing how much you care about your partner. I don't think it's always bad, but I do think some of the ways I changed myself for her was bad, and I think that's part of what made me discontent with the relationship in the long-term. Undoing those changes was just my example. Someone might have a resolution to date more, use tinder, try something different, etc.
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2578454
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
People do. I remember with my ex I was with her for 2 weeks and she bought me an imported Soul Sacrifice Vita with a load of games, for more than £400 as a birthday gift. It's relative to the amount of money that you have access to. For her the cost wasn't that big of a deal at the time and it was a very thoughtful gift as she knew I wanted the game and the custom Vita looked great. With the girl I'm currently dating, I've probably spent about £500 on her over the last month between restaurants and Christmas gifts. I'm not super wealthy but I have a little excess per month so I usually put that into whatever I'm focusing on at the time - in this case, having a good time with a girl. I wouldn't get her super expensive gifts though, I'd rather focus on spending money on experiences that have potential to bring us closer together. Like day trips out, and things like that. I wouldn't resent it if the girl and I didn't work out though. I have a good time at the restaurants I take her, etc. I don't think it's appropriate to ask for them back, but he would care because even though he has money, the expense was relative to caring about the girl. Spending $400 on someone that doesn't care about you, that you're not going to speak to, is a waste of money, regardless of whether you're 'loaded' or not. He's being 'thoughtless' as you put it, because at this stage he doesn't care about her happiness anymore. The gifts were thoughtful, because at the time, he did. Also the last line of your post is kind of ignorant. If it was a $50 trinket that he could 'barely afford' then it wouldn't be meaningless because he would have obviously struggled to get together that gift. It's cliche but in general I think it's the thought that counts which is why when I gift I tend to buy small, thoughtful items that show a girl that I listen to them, that I care about how they think and feel. Gifts that show I think about them, and that cause them to think about me (things like books and video games are good for this, because as a girl plays / reads them she'll often come back and talk to me about them).
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2589942
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Good luck dude, what are you planning on doing for the date? Let us know how it goes.
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2590673
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Trying to talk to this girl about Christmas on a bad phone line on the train. She was talking to me about Witcher 3, and asked what I got for Christmas. I tried to explain that I bought the Dishonored Collection with some of my Christmas money, but she some somehow she heard 'Sonic', rather than 'Dishonored'. All I heard was "You bought Sonic? Why?" before the phone cut off. I'd ghost someone that bought Sonic Forces too, to be fair.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2590673/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2590800
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I prefer places that have alcohol as I think it helps to have a drink sometimes, so I don't usually take girls to coffee places on a first date, but that's just me personally. Otherwise, it sounds fine. At the end of the day you just want to meet and see if there's any connection there. I wouldn't go anywhere that looks tacky / cheap either. So, that cuts out most chain coffee shops and restaurants. But, not every girl will care about that kind of thing.
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2595463
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I would too. I think it sets a standard for any prospective relationship, that she can just jump into your life when she pleases, and you're expected to be there for her. People that don't respect your time, aren't worth your time.
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2561955
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Meant to reply to this sooner but I've been busy travelling back to Brighton. I can see what you're saying. I mean, it's just based on my personal experience. I guess it wasn't fair to say that in general, I find female advice better, there's a lot of things I ask my male friends for. But personally, for me there's been a lot of things that happened in relationships that I didn't really understand. I had spoke to males about it and they just gave pretty generic advice, like when my relationship was breaking down with my fiance, I explained that to a couple of male friends, and they just told me to stick at it and try and make things work, wait for her feelings to return. Then I explained it to my sister, and she explained how I acted earlier on in the relationship likely caused my partner to move away from me as a means of protecting herself (I told her I didn't want to marry her anymore, and we needed to work things out). My sister just explained things in a way that made a lot of sense, and actually gave me something I could have acted on (though by that time, I had given up on the relationship too). Same with dating recently. Quite a few times I've had weird interactions with girls that I've not really understood, and mentioned it to male friends who have offered no good advice, then I mention it to a female and they're like, 'oh, she's behaving like that because of this, lots of girls do that' and it's something I hadn't even considered. But you're right that it's probably just a personal thing (as it is for you with men). For me, I just tend to be quite close to a lot of good women, and they're very open with me about their feelings and relationships, so that helps me be open with them. With guys, I'm not so close to as many guys, particularly regarding their relationships and dating, so they're not as open, and don't offer as good advice. When I speak to friends they're often more interested in bragging about their sexual encounters. Many of them have spoken to me about not really understanding my perspective in relationships, and the fact that I don't fear commitment like they do. On the other side of my life, speaking to games industry folk, many of the more senior people have have wives / partners and they've been together for a long, long period of time, so it's hard to get good dating advice from them that's relevant to today. Many of them have never used Tinder or anything like it, for example. One of my housemates is really helpful though, his names Martin, he's a gay guy and I can speak openly with him. He's pretty good with fashion too and I often ask him how I look before going on a night out, date or whatever. He's a good friend, I remember when I was on my third date with this girl I'm seeing he took me to one side and cautioned me not to fall for her because he can tell I get attached quickly, and he doesn't want me to get hurt. It kind of made me well up a little bit that he actually thinks about things like that - I think that's the sign of a really good, supportive friend, and I just don't have many male friends like that.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2561955/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2533276
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I'd ignore the last couple of pages at the very least... In general I've found asking females in real life is much better than of the advice in this thread. Most of my friends and family are female and in general I think that's a better resource than members of an online, gaming forum. In honesty I think asking for relationship advice from guys broadly can be pretty poor, I find a lot of guys have an ulterior agenda to support their own egos, so they often give the advice that they think the ideal male should do - as if it's something they do. A lot of stories from males (not necessarily here) tend to be works of fiction too. So if you have that kind of resource in real life, take advantage of it before coming to ask anyone here for advice. I would say that I find those issues mentioned above are much more prevalent in other communities though. If you actually use communities that are specific for dating, such as a dating subreddit, then it's just packed with guys looking to support their own egos, spouting weird shit that they likely don't have experience with. In other cases, advice often feels copy and pasted out of a self-help text book, some members are guilty of that here, and in general it neglects the individual differences of the couple the advice is being applied to, often missing the mark. Ask what she would want a guy to do, etc. I really enjoy doing that as I feel it also brings me closer to my friends to share and support each other. Women do it all the time, but I don't think men do it as commonly. Dinner and a movie doesn't sound so bad. Just deal with watching a movie you're not that interested in, it's not that big of a deal? You could ask her to grab a drink with you and then if drinks / dinner don't go well, just abandon the movie? I mean, if you don't get on over dinner and drinks, it's not going to get better over a movie, so you might as well bail. Or you could just be a friend, because she'd probably appreciate just having someone to see it with.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2533276/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/KEmBb
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2533815
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Something interesting I forgot to mention. One of the girls I was dating a few weeks ago mentioned that she reads threads on resetera. That's a pretty tricky situation to be in if you're posting things in this thread. It wasn't an issue, since I ended up not pursuing anything with her as I spent more time with another girl, but something to think about. Reminds me of how, when I was in high-school, I managed to offend a girl I knew because of something I posted on gaiaonline. In my case it doesn't help that my handle here is universal, so she'd know the word chronospherics from PSN, or even my email.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2533815/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/MJGCz
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2488903
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Personally I won't date someone unless we have both complimentary personalities hobbies in common. When I was chatting with girls on tinder, some of them would say things like 'I don't really like films', and I just dropped the conversation there and then. They might have been lovely but I see watching movies, and playing games to be a pretty big part of my life and I'd want to share that with a partner. I'm used to long term relationships where most evenings would involve doing something with my partner, like watching a film, or playing a video game. The girl I'm dating at the moment, we've played through What Remains of Edith Finch, Life is Strange, and Uncharted: The Lost Legacy together. I think if she wasn't into the same things, I'd just get a little bored with her company over time, and my hobbies would become a divide in our relationship - especially if I go on a binge of a new video game or something like that. My sister is the same, she doesn't date guys that don't play video games. Her current boyfriend hooked up with her after he offered to let her play the FFXV demo (she didn't have access to it at the time, for whatever reason). With all of this said, I don't have any aesthetic criteria for a woman. Like the guy above was saying his friend was looking for a hot blonde with double Ds (though that description does, incidentally fit the girl I'm seeing at the moment). In general I would say that I find women attractive and I tend to fall for their personality and shared interests.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2488903/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/QaoI0
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2502083
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I think people hoping their partners might become interested in their hobbies might become disappointed. It's easy for them to accept those hobbies in the short term, start of a relationship, but in the long-term it's easy for those activities, particularly if it pulls them away from the partner, to become irritations. I know a lot of guys, who's girlfriends explicitly dislike them playing games. For me, at least, that's not a pleasant situation to be in.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2502083/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/31IWn
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2502713
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
The problem is it's not something a lot of girls are open with at the start of a relationship. Like they might accept that you play games, and just shrug it off, but a couple years down the line they're complaining because you want to spend a day playing a video game, etc. And it's easy for that to go from a minor, to a major irritation. Ultimately, the guys I know have to settle for not playing games very often when they're at home. Fitting their gaming time around their partners schedule. I think it's much better if you can guarantee early on that that's an experience you can share with them. I guess it depends how important your hobbies are to you though, and how much of your time they take. I don't spend a huge amount of time playing games at the moment, but I appreciate having the freedom to do that when I want to.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2502713/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/SfIKo
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2503259
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I wouldn't turn it down. It's not ideal though, I think evenings add to the atmosphere and also if they're busy later then it means the date can't really lead anywhere. With that said, I don't think it would make much difference. Either you connect or you don't.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2503259/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/uHImq
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2513287
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I was talking about before they're your 'partner' really. In at least my experience in the past, when a girl has fallen for me it's not been uncommon that she will overrepresent / lie about things that she likes / is interested in. I remember when I was younger one of the girls I got together with pretended she liked Street Fighter IV just to get closer to me. She talked about video games that she liked, and things I could relate to, at the time, just for the sake of being able to relate to me. A few months down the line it became apparent that she wasn't genuinely all that interested in that stuff, and playing video games became a barrier. I agree with it being important to have separate lives though - though for me that's my work (and related social life), skateboarding, gym and fighting game tournaments. Video gaming is a more passive activity that's not something I just pick up here and there, but something that's closely interrelated with my sense of identity. I feel that if you don't like gaming then that's a big part of that you don't like.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2513287/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/69HYs
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2464335
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
If I was drunk and tired I'd probably just sleep next to her or on the sofa or whatever, personally. Hate the ride back home after a night out.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2464335/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/9xK4c
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2464459
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Neither would I, but if I were making out with a girl and realised she was too drunk I'd just keep my trousers on, tell her she was too drunk, and that we should just sleep. I guess it might be harder to control yourself if you put yourself closer to that situation though, but I've never had an issue sleeping next to girls after a night out, just for the sake of having somewhere comfortable to sleep.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2464459/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/XLKSd
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2464817
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Yeah that's fair enough. I mean she'd probably know if you were still clothed or sleeping on the sofa but I get what you're saying.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2464817/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/N44HC
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2475962
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
So I wanted ask you guys for an opinion. Finished chatting with this girl tonight, she went to bed, or to play The Witcher 3, one of those two (she said she had to sleep but I believe she's playing W3 in bed). Anyway, we spoke on an off throughout the day and she initiated the conversation, I generally like talking to her. She left me with the message "Okay, call or message me tomorrow if you want xx" The thing is, I don't want to intrude on her Christmas unless I get the impression she actually me to give her a call. Partially because I see Christmas as a pretty private thing, and partially because I guess I don't want to seem overly fond of her. I certainly wouldn't pick up calls from most people on Christmas myself, and I just spend the day with close relatives usually. So I don't want to intrude on that time with the people she's spending it with (her Uncle and such), but I guess I do want to speak to her if that's what she actually wants.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2475962/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/O7JIj
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2437562
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Are you just messaging her? If you haven't, you should just ask her out. Girls will get bored of messaging while at the same time, other guys will be asking them out.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2437562/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/qPNn0
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2437779
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Well I don't know where you met her but the thing is if it's tinder or whatever she's probably talking to a lot of other guys who she's interested in too. So unless you push for an actual meetup she'll likely to get bored / occupied with other things and stop replying. You won't really get to know a girl via messages alone. I don't know if you've been out with many girls that you've met online, but you quickly realise that the online messaging portion of your communication doesn't really give you that much of an indication of who they are. All you need to do is use that online messaging period to quickly figure out if there are ways in which you can relate to the girl (if you like the same type of movies, books, music, etc) then lock in a date - the only reason you need to do that former part is to ensure you have something to talk about / relate over when you meet, so as a worst case scenario it's just a friendly conversation, and not super awkward. It's not really a sign of anything. If you just message a girl for a lengthy period of time, most of them will end up in stagnant conversations that don't really get anywhere, until someone just drops off and stops replying, or they'll be more engaged with a similar conversation with someone else that actually locks in a date. As for the timing of her responses. It seems normal to me.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2437779/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/EG7Bn
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2438752
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I went away for Christmas the other day, leaving the girl I've been dating back in Brighton. We messaged a few times, but hadn't spoken to her in a couple of days. I was kind of doing this deliberately, just to give her some time to herself. I called her last night, while I was longboarding in the park. She was crying a little when she picked up, she said she gets upset at Christmas, because it reminds her of things she doesn't have, and memories from the past. She doesn't have a family, her mother died of cancer when she was young, and she walked in on her father slitting his wrists when she was a little older. I ended up longboarding around while using my headphones to talk to her for about two and a half hours. It was nice to talk to her. She said she was worried she was getting emotionally attached to me. Before I knew it I had been all around town on my long board, 15 miles or so. She said I cheered her up. I didn't really do anything, I just listened to her and talked about my sister quite a bit. I'm glad she ended up feeling a little better though. I think it's a good sign if I can cheer her up without explicit effort.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2438752/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/tXMp5
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2439129
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
It is sad, but a lot of the girls I've dated tend to have been through trauma like that, my ex was an orphan too. I find it makes them more interesting people. This particular girl has been working and taking care of herself since she was 16 years old. She's stronger and generally more interesting to me than most women. As for the bolded, I don't remember. I think I just told her not to worry, and that I like spending time with her. I told her I'd give her a call on Christmas day - she said 'You know you can call me whenever you want Joe' and generally seemed pretty happy to be talking to me. We talked about a lot of things. She was saying she wished she was with me, and I reciprocated those feelings. She spoke about children, how many she wanted, and asked me questions related to things like that. Where she wanted to live, what kind of life she wanted to have. She asked me if I had children, would I want to stay at home and look after them, or whether I'd expect my partner to. I guess those are pretty serious questions - in general we want the same things. I imagine talking about Christmas just got her thinking about family. In the end I kind of got tired and ended the conversation, because longboarding for two and a half hours wears you out and I just wanted to go to bed. I'm going to head back to Brighton on the 27th and she's going to spend a couple of days at my house before we have to go back to work in the new years. I like spending time with her and I'm having fun doing that at the moment. No big deal if things don't go anywhere long-term but either way I'm having a good time right now.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2439129/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/u0rqM
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2446210
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
In general I just find that people that have been through hard times are often stronger and more, relatable people, for me. I'll pm you more details since you asked but won't post here. The only thing I actually look for in a girl is that she's attractive and plays video games.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2446210/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/UDLP8
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2406112
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
... Right, whatever. The drinks thing was something I found funny, not a big issue. I wasn't at all saying that I expected anything in return. i don't know where you got that from. I took her to a restaurant instead. I paid for dinner, no expectations. Prior to that post I said if someone wasn't emotionally invested over a long period of time, I would leave the relationship and find someone else. I didn't say that I expected anything from them, I simply said that if something wasn't right for me, I would not be willing to stick around. I don't see how that's unreasonable and it's never been a problem for me in long-term relationships prior. Where did I say I was the perfect date? I also, wasn't being critical of her, if anything I just found the situation funny. I took her out, and we had a good time, and then went back to mine. What was wrong with that exactly?
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2406112/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/OnNLY
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2306898
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Man this girl... She's broke, since she's spent all her money on Christmas shit. I suggest we go out anyway, say I'll pay. Says she won't let me pay, because I've paid for too much. She then suggests going to a cocktail bar, because it's '2 for 1 cocktails' and she'll take the free ones... It doesn't work like that. It just doesn't. If I have to buy full priced cocktails all night, so that you can get free ones, then that means I paid for yours.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2306898/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/W1OVS
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2309990
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Why not? Buying presents for friends and relatives. Plus, she had to buy a new phone as she lost hers.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2309990/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/nHOlV
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2315634
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Not very long, just two weeks. But we've been out together 7-8 times in the past 2 weeks. She won't come to mine tonight because it's too far for her to stay over and easily get to work in the morning without getting up at 6am. She has a few times previously, but it's a pain, because I have to order her a taxi at 6am in the morning (which is expensive) and we both have to get up super early. -- We ended up meeting at the cocktail place. I said I wanted food and took her to a restaurant instead. We had a good time. I gave her a christmas present. Okami HD and The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat by Oliver Sacks. She seemed to love them, so I'm pleased with that at least. Hey man. I went through a super similar experience like 5 weeks ago, splitting with my fiance of 5 years, and while I was heart broken at the time. I got over it super quickly. I used Tinder to date all kinds of women. As you say, it was a breath of fresh air getting to meet new people. I went out with about 9 women in the past 5 weeks, across 20+ dates, and among them I met a nice girl, who I'm dating exclusively at the moment. I'm a lot happier now than I was in the final year of my relationship with my fiance. I don't know if things will work out with the girl I'm seeing right now, but I love getting to know someone new. The intimacy is pretty good too, as it became pretty stale with my ex. Hopefully you find a similar experience.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2315634/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/Z9NXX
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2250462
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Yep, there's no way I'd meet up with that girl. I mean, I'm not looking for hookups generally so that's a big factor, but the way you described that interaction just seems too good to be true for people looking for that type of thing. I'd suspect she may be looking to rob me, or something like that. I've heard of girls doing that on Tinder, with their partners. Be cautious at the very least Vego.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2250462/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/gpbg4
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2252152
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
- talk briefly about a common interest, show them that you're a normal human being, a decent guy that they can relate to - make your intentions clear, clarify what you / they want out - Lock in a date to meet up
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2252152/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/4Da45
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2254172
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Yeah. Though, it's also about getting through that process very quickly. Some were suggesting within just a handful of messages. Which isn't intuitive for some.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2254172/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/TTPTN
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2279094
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Just me personally, but after being attached to a girl like that I would want to distance myself from her, but I'd never turn down friendship. Why not just leave her alone for a few weeks / months, date someone else. Your romantic feelings will likely disappear, and you can be friends, if you want that.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2279094/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/xouww
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2210615
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Yeah I don't know. It's not that it's a problem that it's someone else. It's just for a moment it felt weird. It feels weird to be lay in bed with someone, waking up with someone, that isn't the person I've been with for the past 4 to 5 years. It wasn't as though I wished it were her. It just reminded me, of the same feeling, like a flashback, to being in the same place with an ex. As far as falling in love goes, I've only been in four long term relationships and all four of them fell for me within a month. One of them even told me they loved me within days, and that lead to a 3 year relationship. I think everyone is different over a year is a bit too long for me personally. To be honest if a girl wasn't ready to say the same thing back within a month or so of myself feeling the same, I'd exit the relationship and find someone else. I spent enough time with my ex telling her I loved her without her returning it and there's no chance I'd be interested in going through that again. I'm not saying I expect someone to return it, or that I love this girl that I'm seeing at the moment (not at all, to be honest). Waiting a few weeks, months, or whatever is one thing, but potentially years, is another. It's a big deal to me, it really shapes my decisions in the rest of my life to know if someone is committed in that way, so I feel like it's something I need to know, within a reasonable span of time. The way I see it, based on my conversations with this girl, she equates love to dependence. When she becomes dependent on a guy, when she feels she can't live without them, that's when she loves them, and that's why it takes her so long. I don't necessarily think that's a good way to be, but still, I do like hanging out with her, at least at the moment, so I'm happy to see where things go. I also think it relates to how your partner escalates things. Her ex was the only long term relationship she had, and he didn't enjoy physical affection, touching, and things like that. So it may have been harder to love him. Besides, I may move to Montreal within 6 months. That's kind of part of the issue for me. I don't settle down in a city for more than a year typically. So if I'm going to ever do so, I need to know where I'm at with a girl, I need some form of commitment from them within at a very minimum, under 12 months, sometimes sooner, else it just doesn't fit into my life. With that said, at the same time as saying she doesn't fall in love within under a year, she does say some wacky stuff sometimes. I've only known her for two weeks and when I mentioned Montreal she suggested she would want to come with me.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2210615/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/bbSdB
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2211327
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Never been in that situation. My friends tend to just want me to be happy so I don't think they'd say anything like that unless they had a very explicit reason to believe I wouldn't be, with said person. Out of curiosity how many is 'a lot' of partners? Maybe there's something they know about related to that.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2211327/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/cexei
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2215169
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
What makes you think anyone here isn't doing other things they like? I mean, this isn't a dating forum. Presumably everyone here is a video game enthusiast, which is a hobby they likely pursue, at a very minimum. I play video games, skate, practice bouldering, watch a lot of movies, and spend a lot of time with friends at bars, etc. All the while I still have time for dating, without really feeling like I'm giving up anything else. Not to mention, my work is a huge part of my life. I spend a tremendous amount of time outside of work thinking about it, reading about it, watching videos related to it, etc. I don't see how dating prevents anyone doing any of that. Even if I'm with a girl, dating, I just integrate her with that stuff. I play video games, get them to watch movies. Sometimes girls have asked me to teach them things, one of my ex's I got together with because she asked me to teach her to play Street Fighter IV. The idea of sacrificing personal interests to date seems ridiculous to me, heck, I don't even date girls that won't play video games.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2215169/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/0sw2j
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2215313
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Oh I see. My bad. But yeah, don't give up anything you like. Search for people that like the same things. It just makes sense haha.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2215313/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/PJbQ1
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2206757
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
She may have a reason that she didn't want to meet up, that she didn't want to disclose. Some people have have bad days, for example, some people get down etc. Just leave her alone for a few days and ask her again. I think you still have a chance.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2206757/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/lVdoT
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2134409
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Was due to meet the girl I've been dating today, and she seemed keen to meet up but then changed her mind. She said she's in a bad mood, still on her period, and just wants to go to sleep. She said she'd still come out if it'd upset me that she didn't - I said it was no big deal and we rearranged. She said she can do tomorrow instead, and encouraged that option by saying that if we do tomorrow, she can stay with me for the whole weekend. In general I think she seems pretty keen, and her lack of enthusiasm to hang out today was just generally feeling under the weather. Also, it's interesting how women speak about their periods. Of course, it doesn't bother me at all, but many of the women I speak to are reluctant to talk about it, and sometimes seem to think guys will find it disgusting. This girl decided she thought she could talk about it openly, because she knows I was raised in an all-female household and would likely understand. On whatsapp I can get to know them a lot better than on tinder and it also gives me an indication of whether they'd actually be interested in talking to me. People on tinder just stop replying very easily, because you have them within an app where they're bombarded with competition, etc. The way I see it, you want to get them out of that environment as soon as possible. 3 messages isn't a hard rule though. It's not really about wanting their number, it's about wanting them to focus their attention on you, somewhat, so that you have better odds of even getting to know them.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2134409/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/rrfwI
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2137975
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Never bothered me. Ex's always talked to me about what was going on, how they felt, etc. Probably is due to what she said, the way I've been raised by women means I don't think of that type of thing in the same way. It's not like I asked for the info either, she volunteered it, I guess she felt comfortable doing so with me. It reminds me of that Ted talk you (or someone else) posted earlier. 'A call to men' or whatever it was. I've never had an upbringing that really enables me to relate to anything that guy was saying.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2137975/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/gHUlq
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2138932
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I get that, but it didn't seem like she felt embarrassed. I also think how the guy reacts to it, is a big reason why women don't disclose. A lot of women that I've been with have said that they usually don't talk about it with guys, because they know that guys don't like it. I don't think many women are embarrassed by it, at least not more so than they are worried about how guys will react, and if they are, having a guy that's happy to talk about it only helps alleviate that. In this case, the girl explicitly noted that my background with an all-female household, and mostly female friends, made her more comfortable talking about it with me. My ex's didn't feel embarrassed talking about their periods with me either. In general I've always made an effort to be understanding, and welcome whatever they want to disclose. I always imagined that helps make me closer to my partner - making them feel more comfortable with me as a whole. And, I know it wasn't about the story of the guy, but what I mean is, by being raised by women I've never really had much awareness of that perception of manhood. He talks quite a lot about it in the talk, but I think a lot of it is taught by fathers. I think not having had my father around has its advantages sometimes, as I don't doubt that those expectations, the idea that men don't cry, the idea that men should control women, etc would have been instilled into me, by him. My mother used to call me the 'man of the house' when I was young, but I must admit I never really understood what that meant.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2138932/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/hKzl7
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2139957
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I met 6/9 of the girls I've been dating in the last month, on Tinder. The other 3, on OKC.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2139957/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/UcyX9
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2140420
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I think the movie being bad is the least of your concerns really. Movies are bad first dates because you can't really talk or get to know them. If anything, you can laugh and talk over a bad movie. You can't do that if they're engrossed in a great movie. Not that I advocate talking at the cinema - afterwards is ideal.
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2205941
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
That girl I mentioned spent yesterday and most of today with me. Not really sure how I feel about her after spending more time with her. I do like her, I think she's a nice girl, and I enjoy being intimate with her, it's fun... but beyond that, I don't know... I don't think she's at much risk of falling for me either. Which I guess puts me off - I spoke to her a lot about romance and love, and she was saying that she's only been in love once, and it took her over a year with that partner to feel like that. For me, that's weird. If I really liked someone I could totally feel like I was in love with them within a few weeks, and if there's no prospect of her being on the same page then I think that's going to be a pretty unenjoyable relationship. But I like her being around. I enjoy the intimacy, touching, cuddling, stroking her hair, I wonder if part of that is having only left my ex partner recently. When she was lay on my chest after sex, I couldn't help but imagine for a moment that she was my ex. It felt the same. Her warmth, the embrace, it felt good to feel like that again but I don't know if it's anything more than that. Oh, and I integrated video games into the evening by playing Everything in the background and sticking it on autoplay. She enjoyed Alan Watt's philosophical lectures that feature in the game and thought the way that the animals move was funny. This is everything for those unaware It's a pretty cool screensaver for your PS4 / PC, because it plays itself if you don't press anything. I think we probably watched the game play itself for a few hours.
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2095525
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Just to clarify I wasn't just talking about you here. It's quite common that other people in this thread behave pretty poorly too. What dating site was that? Sounds like junk. Personally I would always push for a number, but I've only moved conversations from Tinder or OKC to whatsapp/texts/calls. Just something to bare in mind: religious beliefs are a common turn off so turning a girl down for Church has potential to be received poorly unless she aligns with your relgious beliefs. I guess it depends how important that side of your life is for you, and if you've already clarified that with her. I stopped dating the other girl I was seeing after the 4th date or so with the other girl. I think you owe it your partners to let them know if you're involved in multiple sexual relationships - so that was a big factor for me, when I started sleeping with girl A, I told girl B that I wasn't really sure I was ready for a relationship, and asked if we could just be friends. I've kept hanging out with the 'just friends' girl, we watch movies and play video games together. The girl I'm actively seeing romantically. I've not really talked about exclusivity with. I'm just guessing she isn't seeing other people based on the fact that she tends to give me an account of her day, every day. She tends to call me, or I her, etc, just doesn't seem all that likely that she's with someone else - though of course I could be wrong, so I'll approach it explicitly sometime. At some point I'll tell her, 'I want you to be my girlfriend'. If she asks what that means then I'll explain I'm talking about exclusivity. I've vaguely told her that already though. We had a conversation at a restaurant along the lines of: Me: I like you, I want us to hang out more often Her: You want me all to yourself? I smiled Her: Hmm... you usually get what you want, don't you? Me: Well... yeah. Her: Let's go to yours, after the meal She's also used the term boyfriend / girlfriend a few times, saying stuff like 'if you're going to be my boyfriend, then x', but like I say, I'll bring it up more explicitly at some point. This isn't advice, this has just been my experience over the past few weeks. Take what you want from it, even if that's nothing at all. I usually move the conversation to whatsapp within 3 messages Then I usually ask a little about their interests, generic shit, then ask them for a date, within perhaps 20 messages. Sometimes I let the conversation drag and in those cases the women usually either case me out, or just stop messaging back. I only let the conversation drag if I'm not that interested in dating, usually because I don't have enough time / have other dates lined up.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2095525/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2101534
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I just had 3, and they were selfies. No issues getting a few matches every time I swiped a few women. I don't think it matters that much what type of photos they are. Just make them genuine.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2101534/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2050062
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Unrelated but why on earth are you guys sending emails to your dates? I also think some people have some pent up aggression in this thread. Everyone here is trying to help others, offer advice, etc. There's no sense in using language like 'wtf is with you' and calling each other terrible people. You can also disagree with each other without being condescending. This. Why reply to a girl that doesn't reply to you in 9 days? You could arrange dates with 9 other girls in 9 days. She seems barely interested, it's a waste of time.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2050062/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2028091
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I don't really get this article. It seems to equate being a 'nice guy' as lacking confidence and being disillusioned by relationships in movies/television. You can be a nice guy without being afraid of rejection, lacking confidence, or only wanting to get into her pants. I guess I don't really like the term nice guys here. Just seems like a really long way of telling guys to take control and be open with how you feel. I don't really see how that marries up with being a nice guy, or not, and I general I think a lot of this self help stuff is really long winded common sense.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2028091/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 2028976
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Yeah, this is near enough the exact thing I've sent to girls when I've been busy dating someone else.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/2028976/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1959615
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Depends who you are I guess. When I was young I used to listen to music while I slept (because I was a stupid kid) via headphones, so now I can sleep through an earthquake. This type of thing wouldn't bother me. At first it'd be a bit weird but I'd just get used to sleeping through it.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1959615/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1962526
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Well, the reason I say it was stupid because I worry it damaged my hearing a bit. When I was 16 or so I used to put music on through my headphones, max volume, usually metal and other crap. It's not healthy to do that. I get what you mean though, a lot of people listen to, like, relaxing music and whatnot. I remember when I was young, I used to think it was really cool to fall asleep while listening to Metallica's Enter Sandman, played on a loop. haha.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1962526/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1972630
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Somewhat odd sequence of events today. I wasn't due to meet this girl over the weekend, but then she asked if we could meet because she wanted to see me before I went away. On the day I was due to meet up with her, I was in town and I sent her a photo of where my friends and I were (in a desert store, eating cake). She replied to me, asking if I wanted to meet up, but I didn't see any of her messages or anything like that. Then just after I walked out of the store, I saw her. She acted a bit annoyed, as if I had ignored her messages. And she was pretty off with me in conversation. I didn't intend to ignore her, and I actually bought her a box of chocolates while I was in the store. I didn't mention that to her because she seemed a bit irritable and I didn't want to have that conversation in the street, in town. I spoke to her via whatsap afterwards, asked her if we were meeting up later, she said she wanted to but she just wanted to stay home. Said she's on her period and she's feeling unwell. I posted a sad face. She started sending a series of photos, which ended up escalating to a couple of photos where she was topless. I did not prompt her to send those in any way. I just told her that her previous photos were cute. --- Not really sure where I stand with her generally. She knows that I like her, but I feel that it was a bit weird that she just abruptly appeared at the same place as me in town. Then she seemed offended that I was surprised to see her and missed her call (wasn't as though I kept her waiting long, it was like 15 minutes or whatever) which seems a little silly. I understand if she was unwell, but can't help but shake the feeling that she cancelled our meetup because she was annoyed at me.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1972630/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1840561
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
In Cat Pee's case he had reason to be suspicious since he suddenly had a load of matches from the same courses at a University. But in general, I do agree with you. As I say, I don't have any reason to be suspicious of women generally, I've not seen anyone horribly misrepresent themselves. Some women do use filtered photos and whatnot, but usually I'll move the conversation from Tinder to whatsapp within a handful of messages, then on whatsapp I'll ask them for photos a little later. If I'm pretty chatty with a girl I'll often send her a photo of what I look like first thing in the morning. In most cases, they follow up with something similar and I think it gives a more genuine impression of what they look like.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1840561/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1879366
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Never thought about that, it does bother me too sometimes. That said the girl I'm seeing most often at the moment tends to reply when she's seen it. If it's a question anyway.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1879366/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1935408
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I decided to back off with the girl I like and just leave her to contact me. She did, said she wanted to see me. Explained that she could tell I liked her, and she likes me too, but described herself as 'more of a slow burner'. Vertabim "You wanna' do something Monday maybe? x" "I know you have your friends over and you're busy... I don't know, I want to see you xx" That's fine, that's what I wanted to hear really. We're going to see the Disaster Artist tomorrow (I'm not free on Monday - I'm out of town on business for 3 days).
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1935408/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1817298
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I would just go for it if she works in a different department personally. I imagine it would be easy to resume a working relationship if things did turn sour. Just don't make it awkward if things don't work out. I guess it depends on you though. If you're the kind of guy that can't see your ex walking around on a daily basis without acting weird about it, then it might not be a good idea. Personally I've never left a girl without establishing a friendship first - how you end relationships and how you provide closure is likely a significant contributor to any feelings of animosity afterwards, so how you deal with that may be something to consider. Think worst possible scenario, she's fickle and ditches you after a few weeks or whatever. Would that create an awkward work place environment for you? If yes, then perhaps don't bother. But if you're good at moving forward then maybe it's not an issue.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1817298/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1817599
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
That's really weird. I mean, might as well just see what happens, but I would worry I was being manipulated in some way.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1817599/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1818925
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
So I went on a date with that girl I was talking about most recently, last night. We've actually seen each other for 4 days straight. It was a nice restaurant I paid, she was worried that it was too expensive before we went, so I didn't wanted to ease her mind that I'd pay for whatever we had. The previous couple of 'dates' we had we just spent the night in my bedroom, so I wanted to take her someplace nice just to show her that I don't just want to lounge around in bed, eating pizza all day really. I've not really taken a girl to a place like that before. The girls I've been with in the past have all been university or college students and I think when your'e in college there's a mutual awareness that you're both poor, and you're not going to drop a couple hundred £ on dinner. That's always been my experience in the past, anyway. We made out outside the restaurant and on the way to the taxi rank, and then she headed home, saying she wanted a good nights sleep. Aside the date going generally well, I was kind of enamoured by the whole experience. I didn't have a wealthy upbringing, my sister and I grew up in a counsel house (state funded housing) raised by my single parent mother, and we just scraped by never went anywhere expensive or fancy. I don't blame anyone for that, but it really placed what I was doing into context, and I imagine, made me appreciate the experience a lot more. I ended up calling my mother (particularly as she'd been trying to get hold of me for a few days), and promising to take her to a fancy restaurant sometime in January. I don't really know where things are going with the girl. We're seeing each other often and I think we both like each other, but at the same time, I may move to Montreal soon (she knows this). I'm going away on business for most of next week so I won't see her for a little while, but nevertheless I'm finding myself to be really happy since leaving my fiance a few weeks ago. When I was with her and our relationship was breaking down, even when I knew things weren't working and I knew it wasn't right for us to stay together, at the time, I didn't understand how I'd ever be happy again outside of that relationship - I got over that super quickly, and I'm happier than I've been for the longest time. Not because of Amy (the girl I've been seeing most often recently) either, but just because of everything I wasn't doing when I was with my ex. I wasn't meeting people often, I wasn't going places, and I almost feel like I had stopped developing as a human being while I was with her.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1818925/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1819560
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Yeah, I like it too. Personally though I wouldn't have 'good credit score' as one of my traits, and I wouldn't suggest I spend 1/4 of my time worrying about my finances either. I know those slides are just a joke, but people will read into them and I suspect neither of those traits are likely to received all that positively.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1819560/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1824036
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
My place. I'm more comfortable there. It's easier for me to make sure she has a good time because I can execute the evening as planned. Little things like having wine available, netflix ready to go, etc.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1824036/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1839209
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I missed my stop home on the bus yesterday, by quite a bit. Had to get off at the wrong place and walk back for 30 minutes. The same thing happened today. Not quite as bad, but I missed the stop. At first I thought I was just tired, but thinking about it I realise I was thinking about the girl I've been seeing. I think I'm falling for her. That really scares me, because I worry I'm just going to get hurt. Almost tempted to push her away. Jesus. I've never done it, but I imagine you could use google image search to track photos. Girls also often link their snapchat on tinder, for whatever reason. With that said. I've never done it, and don't recommend it. I've never met up with a girl that wasn't what she said she was. I don't see any incentive to 'stalk' anyone. However, if a girl did look me up, it wouldn't bother me. I don't have anything to hide and I'd understand if she was trying to avoid being conned by someone that wasn't who they said they were.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1839209/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 497994
Thread: PIMAX "8k" 200° FoV VR Kickstarter - completed, 4.2 million total funding; all stretch goals reached
I think it's really easy to make a large, but logical jump ahead in an effort to get people excited. However, in reality the reason other hardware manufacturers aren't producing something like this, is because they're too expensive, and consumers haven't caught up with the existing VR market. Occulus and Sony will produce gen 2 HMDs in the coming years, and in all likelihood they will be more appropriately priced, and better supported than this has any chance of being.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/497994/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1797096
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Wasn't what I said. The point of this thread, as In see it, is to share dating experiences, those have been mine. In no way did I say it was a requirement to date anyone. I'm not sure why some of you are inferring that.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1797096/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1803694
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Where did I infer that that was 'doing it right?'. Personally i wouldn't date a girl that doesn't like games. Not because I want that from them, but because I'd worry I'd annoy them with my career and hobbies.
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1775923
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Yeah, like I said it's a bit weird. But y'know, if I don't probe into her thoughts on that, it doesn't naturally come up - and moment to moment, it doesn't really affect how we interact or speak to one another. And at the same time, I do want children, a nuclear family, and all that, so regardless of how she rationalises it, she still wants the same thing that I do.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1775923/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1776274
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I think the problem is if she just doesn't want you as a sexual partner, rather than not wanting sex broadly, then she's likely to leave you later, dissatisfied with the relationship. So if you can't resolve that, then it won't work in the long term. So it's obviously something you need to address, one way or another... I think Sygma's advice of reminding her of your value, isn't terrible, but I would recommend simply trying to talk it out. Perhaps she's asexual? If that's the case then you can still have a conversation about what makes you happy in a relationship, and see if she'll meet you half way, etc. If she just doesn't want to have sex with you, then she probably doesn't view your relationship in the way that you want her to, and the only way to change that would be to change how she thinks about you. In that respect, reminding her of your value could be a good idea. Both as a sexual partner, but also just generally. Do things spontaneously, surprise her, be romantic, see how she reacts. If I were having trouble like that in a relationship I'd probably take her on a weekend in Paris or something like that, personally - if I couldn't resolve it, I'd think about how important the relationship was to me. Personally, I wouldn't be satisfied having sex once or twice a month - especially if the girl is unsatisfied with those moments too. So I'd struggle to sustain the relationship. In that regard, yes, flirting, and showing that you're valued by other women would place some strain on your relationship, but at the same time, if the issue isn't resolved it's not a relationship I would want to be in anyway. I would probably be open first, romantic second, take Sygma's advice third, then give up and find someone that makes me happy.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1776274/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1778609
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Yeah I would just teach them if you're willing. However, there's a big distinction between lacking intelligence, and the absence of knowledge. An intelligent girl might not have been to university, yet she's intelligent, cognitively developed enough follow an explanation of a complex theory, or piece of research. In contrast, a girl that lacks intelligence likely lacks the tools to process that information quickly, she may find herself lost in conversation, and she won't appreciate the information you supply. She may seem enamoured at first, but she's likely to become bored of being dispensed information that she has little appreciation for, or deep understanding of. In general though, I like talking about girls about things they don't understand, and I think they like it too. When I talk about philosophy and psychology, they always seem interested. The girl went out with last week remarked that I made her realise that she's never seen anyone particularly intelligent before - and noted that she liked it.
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1778749
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Sounds like this part of what I was saying? ...
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1778749/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1778948
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Yeah that makes sense. I would always just see how things go personally. Like if you both seem happy together otherwise, then maybe you can both make each other happy despite that issue.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1778948/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1780006
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I would just make an effort to demonstrate I have an active social life outside of our relationship. You don't have to do anything crass to make someone think about how much they value you. That's also why time apart is often good. Perhaps, that's not the issue anyway though. As I said before, I recommend talking about it first.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1780006/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1789660
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Why engage the conversation then? Two of the girls I've been dating are psych graduates. One is working for a stroke charity and passionate about the subject, another is trying to become a marriage counsellor. One of which has even been sending me thoughts on neuroplasticity and stroke rehabilitation and remarking about how she was thinking about things I had said several days after. I'm unconvinced she's not interested in the subject. The girl I was out with yesterday even mentioned nietzsche independent to anything I said to her. I live in Brighton. I don't think you guys get that. You're lucky if you don't see someone cycling a penny farthing to work. I also think you probably missed the part where my last date involved taking turns on Bloodborn - I suppose she wasn't interested in that either? Despite it being her suggestion.
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1743503
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
It's not about being dominant, or not, really. With my previous partners I was definitely the dominant person in our relationship, but at the same time we felt equal. Also, women I've been with before tend to be feminists, which I think is good - I tend to connect progressiveness with intelligence (as does emprical research) - so this is just a little different for me. I don't think a woman needs to be a lawyer, fireman, police officer etc to feel like she's equal to a man. Most women I know aren't like this girl at all. Perhaps I just hang out with hipsters and whatnot, but it's just not what I'm used to. I don't have an issue with it, I'm just not used to it. As it happens, that's near enough what she's said. She also rationalised it as women being biologically designed to look after the home, have children, etc. It doesn't really bother me if that's what she wants, but I would never want to be the guy that made or contributed to a woman feeling like that.
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1667182
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I didn't say it wasn't. :) I should update also, she wasn't ignoring me. She lost her jacket at her works Christmas party which contained her phone / keys / id / wallet, so she couldn't get in, or contact me on whatsapp (since you need a phone, with your number, to use whatsapp). She bought a new phone, and wants to meet up today instead.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1667182/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1681421
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
The girl that cancelled our date came over today - just left in fact. It had turned out that she lost her jacket on a night out, with her keys/passport/phone, so she couldn't access whatsapp before. We ended up playing Bloodborne and making out for a few hours. I had a good time.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1681421/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1721704
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I tend to date women that are a little older than me personally. Often one or two years older. I find those women are more interesting broadly, less likely to mess me around, and also know what they want in life. Otherwise, they're the same age or a couple years younger. Generally I wouldn't date a woman more than a couple of years younger than me. I don't want to be a teacher or father figure - obviously that's not always the case, but just speaking from experience. Younger women tend to randomly decide they want to be an artist who lives in Italy, and random stuff like that. I don't want to be with someone that hasn't developed a firm sense of identity that they're likely to uphold in the long-term.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1721704/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1725523
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Yeah it sounds like she just didn't want to date you and wanted to shut down something she thought might be an advance. Sorry man, her loss.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1725523/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1740642
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
One thing I guess I'm not too fond of with this girl I'm seeing is that she's really into gender roles. She wants to cook, clean and look after her partner, and she expects her partner to be dominant, and generally control her to some degree. It's not altogether uncommon that I meet girls like that, though they don't tend to express those feelings unless you become quite close. Nevertheless, I'm not certain it's something I'm entirely comfortable with. I've only been out with her twice and she's already offered to come round to my house and cook on more than one occasion - but she says that's just how she shows she cares. Am I wrong to be a little unsettled by that?
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1616308
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I'm just talking about having a good understanding of what you're doing / reading the situation - that's what I feel I really don't have. It's not that I'm not looking for women to date - I've been using tinder / OKC and just speaking to them. In my opinion, it's not really about the specific things you say, how you approach things, but who you are - how you act from moment to moment - and you can't really plan that. I find women are attracted to INFJ personality types (Myers Briggs), so even though I'm a quiet guy, they seem to like the fact that I'm pretty caring, and willing to let my intuition guide me through a situation. I'm really open with women I speak to. I tell them what I want from life, from them. I tell them I want two kids, a house in Canada, a dog. I talk about moral philosophy, nietzsche, obscure psychological theories. A women I went out last week had me explaining how an MRI machine works. But it doesn't seem to scare them away - all of those things that on paper I'd traditional avoid, that make me who I am, I find it much better to embrace those rather than worry about whether I'm reading the situation correctly, how she's going to react, etc. It's the same when asking a girl out. Obviously I don't just outright ask a girl a at a bar if she wants to go out, but I'm not afraid to speak to them either.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1616308/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1620900
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Yeah just ask them about what they're interested in, then ask them why, what makes them passionate about that. What that originated from, tell them it's interesting, talk about how it relates to you, where possible. Exchange with them, the same insight into yourself - ideally, they ask for this from you too. The only time you're going to have trouble with this type of conversation is when the person you're talking to is boring, because they don't have anything they're particularly interested in, or passionate about. Even if I'm not explicitly interested in something I'm always interested in hearing about what other people are interested in. If it's their passion, then that makes it interesting. If they say, hypothetically, they're into writing music. You can ask so many questions about that. What got you into writing? What inspires you? Regardless of what they say, act impressed, tell them you're really interested. Tell them you've never met anyone doing that before if that's true, etc. The thing is that women get compliments all of the time, but they rarely have men take a genuine interest, in their interests. Male and female interests often, fail to overlap too significant. Fuck, look at the differences in average info on OKC profiles (note, this is from 2010 so it's outdated, but stressed the same point). It's not that many of those things aren't interesting to me, it's just that I don't know much about them. It's also about picking things they may be less secure about, and telling them that you find it interesting, or cool, so that they feel more comfortable with you. A girl the other week showed me some of the lyrics she was working on, for a song for her band - she said she wasn't very confident, I took the time to interpret the meaning, explain my interpretation to her and tell her I enjoyed reading it - she said it cheered her up that day. I'm not inherently interested in music, or soppy love lyrics, but it can be interesting, especially in conversation with the right person.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1620900/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1635403
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Changed my tinder pic to the same one I have here. I think it looks alright? A few of the girls I've been talking to on whatsapp seem to want to meet up. Asking stuff like if I come by there area often, etc, but at the same time, since I'm already busy seeing a few other people I don't want to meet up with anyone else right now. Feels a little awkward just ignoring their advances, and kind of makes me feel bad because obviously I haven't been open about the fact that I'm seeing other people (though I would if they asked). Currently have about 4 girls that say hi to me and encourage conversation every morning, but ironically, the one girl I'm hoping to go out with soon hasn't been replying. I was supposed to meet her today, but I dunno, if she's not replying on whatsapp I'm not going to go into town and wait at some bar for when we arranged to meet. In general, I find if you can get a girl to chat with you on whatsapp you can get a date 100% of the time. If they gave you their number then they like you. That's just my experience so far. Glad you think it was helpful man. Hope you get a second date :)
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1635403/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1640625
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Yeah I doubt this girl I was supposed to meet today is going to turn up. I messaged her yesterday to confirm we were meeting, she said yeah, 6pm sounded good, but then I messaged her again this morning and haven't heard anything back. It's now 5pm. I guess I just shouldn't turn up either? It's out of my way, don't want to waste my time. If she can't be bothered to reply then she probably wasn't that into me. This was the girl that got sort of freaked out by the fact that I split up with my fiance 3 weeks ago.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1640625/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1646026
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Not to be cruel but that rationalisation just sounds like a means of resolving cognitive dissonance. I'd try and reapproach your photos, etc. Every town has a fair number of eligible women, within your age bracket. You don't have to tell them you're an older, graduate student either. You can always tell them what you aim to do or what you were doing before, and approach getting additional qualifications to enhance your career, a little later.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1646026/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1615320
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
You can definitely do well with women without really having a good understanding of what you're doing though, to be fair. Personally I don't think you have to understand a hell of a lot if you have the right set of characteristics, most of which you can intentionally foster. I don't know what a good ratio is, but since I split with my fiance the other week, I've been out with 6 women, 5 of which on second/third dates. I haven't really felt like I've known what I was doing, or 'had a good understanding of how it goes down' with any of them. Honestly, I've just tried to be myself and not think about anything. I've asked for advice on here a couple of times but I've found it really difficult to follow because I have to think about it and that's not really how I work, I tend to just get through life on my intuition. It helps generally being a nice person, not being after one thing. I don't know about you guys, but a lot of the women I speak to act as if they've had a hard time finding anyone pleasant. Some of the women I talk to speak about their general experiences with tinder and whatnot, and it sounds like an absolute nightmare. The woman I went out with yesterday was describing how her last Tinder date just sat there and told him about his attempted suicides while looking at the floor. It helps a lot to be a psych student I find, generally. Almost every woman I speak to seems to have some connection to mental health or psychology that she wants to talk about. Three of the six women I've been out with in the last week want to be some sort of counsellor or therapist. One of the women I went out with had a stroke when she was young and her life-long complaint is that people don't understand stroke, how it affected her, and people that suffer today. It can be very easy to connect with people if you have the right background. Sometimes I worry that my work in the games industry puts women off though. They don't really understand it, and they also get a little irked when I tell them I can't tell them what I work on, and explain non-disclosure agreements.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1615320/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1595196
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I ended up being honest with a girl I was dating about when I split up with my fiance (3 weeks ago) and it kind of freaked her out. I kind of fucked up a lot on that date to be honest, ended up being a bit of an ass on occasion, for instance, while I had had a few drinks, I remember being very dismissive her thoughts on Freudian psychology and dream theory - I don't agree with what she was talking about, at all, but by being dismissive I think it made her more defensive and less comfortable. Either way, she still made me 'pinkie promise' to see her over the weekend so we'll see how that goes.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1595196/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1432179
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
It's not that. It's just if she were to come over on a work night I wouldn't really have much time for her. I'd rather hang out on the weekend. If I do wake up next to someone, I would want to spend the day with them, not kick them out of my house because I've got to go to work.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1432179/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1383523
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Yeah I get that part, I guess my situation is trickier since I am seeing other people, and the problem is that this girl that wants to take things slow or possibly not take things anywhere at all, that's potentially a waste of time whereas I could just develop a more romantic relationship with someone else. If I do that however, that cuts off all possibilities of developing anything with her. For me, I she's a good fit for a relationship, but it is a drawback that she doesn't play games (there's only one of the other two girls that I'm dating that does). It just so happens that it's the girl that plays games that's appears more attracted to me too. So I feel I'm likely to end up pushing in that direction, but it's a shame because I really dig the other girl and I'd have loved to explored that but, I just don't think I'm willing to wait and see what she wants to do, and miss other romantic opportunities with girls I also really like, in the process. In your position I feel it's less complicated. It absolutely makes sense to just go along for the ride and see what happens, while also keeping your eyes out for other romantic opportunities.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1383523/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1383619
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I don't think long distance is a big issue with an end so clearly in sight. If you guys don't want to lose each other and give up on the relationship then you should just work through that period. Even if things don't work out, you've only lost a little bit of time, not a whole lot. That's just my opinion.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1383619/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1401828
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Co-operative games to play on a date with a girl? PS4 only. Chariot can be a good one, but I don't think it's all that fun. The levels drag on.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1401828/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1420962
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
This girl I've been talking to from tinder is attractive, and pretty forward. After we were talking about where we live, she casually mentions "Oh, I can walk there in about 30minutes". I guess she's expecting me to invite her over? We have a date arranged for Saturday anyway, and I'm pretty busy till then. I just ignored her remark and turned the conversation in a different direction. I'm not really interested in a casual hookup (and she claims, neither is she) but inviting a girl over to my bedroom for a first meeting would probably turn into that. Scrapbooks can be really romantic. For my ex I gave her a book that was filled with loads of our early, romantic memories, photos, receipts of places we went to early on in our relationship, etc. She really loved it. I filled in like, the first year of our relationship and told her to spend time filling in the rest as we go. Even now we've split up, she's said she can't bare to get rid of it. Lovers is a good game but there are two reasons I wouldn't play it on an early date 1) It kind of looks like you're trying too hard to play something romantic, which I think is a little cheesy in a video game context. If she came over to play video games she was probably hoping to have fun, and if you load up a game she's never heard of called 'lovers' I think it just has potential to make things slightly awkward 2) Lovers is hit and miss. Some people are bound to like the strategy but other people just won't get into it With my ex, the first game we played together was castle crashers. It's fun, mindless, but it's also easy to put the controller down and make out.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1420962/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1381935
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Some updates. So the girl I went out with last week, the one that I really liked. I'm seeing her again for a third date tomorrow. But she's been honest with me and said she doesn't really know what she's looking for, and she's just out of a long term relationship. She doesn't know if she wants to date, but at the same time, she does seem to want to spend quite a bit of time with me. I don't know what to think of that, but whatever - I'm going out with her to see Paddington 2 (someone kill me; to be fair this is my fault, I picked the movie, but I didn't want to see Daddy's Home 2, or Battle of the Sexes either). The thing is, she doesn't know what she wants, and I think (despite what he profile says) she doesn't really want a long term relationship right now. I get the general impression she doesn't really know what she's doing with her life, and that she would be quite distant, which I wouldn't appreciate in a relationship. I'm still happy to hang out with her, I think she's a really cool person, but I feel that were just going to end up as friends. I met another girl on Tinder (Amy). She's pretty attractive (between a 7 and 9 out of 10 depending on which photo you look at), and she plays video games. She's currently playing Horizon. I ended up ignoring Sygma's advice and chatting with this girl a lot - just because it's not my style I guess. It wasn't that I didn't find the advice valuable, it's just that if a girl starts talking to me online, I really enjoy chatting with them and for me, it's a good way of making the first date feel really comfortable and easy. I find that helps for both of us. I can totally see how it could be a romance killer, but if you're chatting with the right person, that just doesn't seem to happen. We're meeting up for a date on this next Sunday. She seems pretty into me in general. For instance tonight, we were chatting for about 3 hours on whatsapp. We video called for a bit to make sure we were real people, in general it felt really good to talk to her. I definitely felt that over the last few days, I've been developing a fondness for her. She's just a nice girl, and she wants a lot of the same things I do out of life. At the same time, I have another date next Thursday. She's okay, but really hard to judge until I've met her. She hasn't spoken to me that much (which is fine, obviously). I guess my concern is that I'll be in a slightly more serious position with one of these other two girls, by the time I even date this girl, which is just going to distract me on my date with her. I cancelled another date with a girl on Friday. Stuff is just getting too hectic and I don't have time for it. She seems like a nice girl but less appealing than the other three.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1381935/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1265554
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Right, cheers for the advice man. I appreciate it. I kind of fucked up on your advice (did this before I read it). Since we ended up texting each other, about random shit. Random questions like what's your favourite super power, etc. Just goofy, flirty questions. Reckon I should drop that and avoid talking to her via text?
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1265554/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1285513
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Hmm, I disagree with the one hour drive. You could easily spend every weekend with your partner with an hour drive after work. Heck, some of my colleagues partners commute for 1 hour, just to get into work, and then drive back to their partners in the evenings. That said, I would never deliberately seek out a relationship like that. It's just a pain, and it does put strain on the relationship.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1285513/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1285660
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Talk to them, figure something out. The girl I was out with the other day lives 10 miles away, not a huge distance, but she wants to move to the town I live in. So it becomes a non-issue. Obviously, it depends where it is. If it's 1 hour away and neither of you can ever see yourselves moving in each others direction, then I agree it won't work, but that's often not the case. I just wouldn't dismiss it generally. You can usually figure out if someone would be willing to move for a relationship pretty early on in conversation, and go from there. If they're really career minded and came to x place for that, then they're unlikely to move, etc.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1285660/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/kanUX
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1285933
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
It is, but I've often found the reason people often hesitate to move is because they're career focused, and want to keep their job. But at the same time, they're often willing to travel to work for an hour, so that's often one way in which a lot of couples compromise, by moving in together, narrowing the distance to each other, but increasing the distance to work.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1285933/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1179999
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I don't know if this is serious advice, but it really depends what you're looking for. Don't get a tattoo if you're hoping it will attract a long term partner "Women thought that the men looked healthier with a tattoo, which supports the biologists’ theory. However, tattoos make a man look more or less attractive. Women thought tattooed men would be worse partners and fathers than men without tattoos, perhaps because tattoos signal impulsiveness and a propensity for risk-taking — hardly the characteristics most women prioritize in a long-term partner. Both men and women agreed that a man with a tattoo looked more masculine, dominant, and aggressive."Quote is from a Summary of the Article from Psychology Today.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1179999/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1191021
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I get what you're saying. Particularly because all of those statistics don't mean much to any individual, but when you're talking about attraction you're talking about playing averages. Substantial bodies of empirical evidence usually hold more water than anecdotal advice from forum goers in terms of understanding those averages, and how they're influenced. I wouldn't make a decision to get (or not to get) a tattoo based on that research, however, the point is that there isn't strong evidence to suggest that tattoos have any really meaningful benefit in attracting a long term mate, and dispensing that advice (almost as if it were a universal truth) seems a little silly to me. And yes, if you want to read most current journal articles, you have to pay for access. Here's the summary that was on . Personally, I read journals through my sisters University access.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1191021/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1191378
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Regarding my date with that girl on Sunday... So I mentioned that date above, went well, seemed to get on, a quick meetup for coffee turned into 4 and a half ours, drinks and dinner. I liked her, and in general I got the impression she liked me. Following the date, she sent me a text saying it was really nice to meet and that she'd like to hang out again sometime soon. I sent a reply, saying I really enjoyed her company, and asking when she'd next be available. She responded a few hours later, saying she's busy for the next couple of weeks, but she'll let me know when she's free sometime. ---
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1191378/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1191870
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Yeah that's what I'm thinking to be honest - and yeah it really does kill the momentum. The only thing that gives me some hope is that by "I'm busy for the next couple of weeks, I'll let you know" she might mean that she's busy over the next couple of weeks but she'll let me know when she's free, within that time as opposed to I'm busy over the next couple of weeks I'll let you know after (but probably not at all). Also, does it not seem weird that she would initiate a text after our date saying she'd like to see me again, if she actually didn't? Hard to understand why there would be an incentive to do that. I'm probably going to go out with a couple more girls this week. One named Laura, another, Rhiannon, but neither of which seemed as interesting as Marnie (the girl above). It might sound odd, but I liked her neurological abnormalities. I liked the way she very twitched slightly when she demonstrated a more expansive vocabulary (she had a mild stroke when she was young, and experienced aphasia at the time). That kind of thing is difficult to find in a girl, but for me, them being different in some weird and unusual way is a pretty big deal breaker.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1191870/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1192423
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Cheers for the advice Earnest :) You're right, I'll just play it cool, see what happens, and go out with one of the other girls in the week.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1192423/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1143549
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Don't go somewhere too quiet, because the surrounding conversation helps yours not feel too award. At the same time, don't go somewhere too busy or loud, because it can be difficult to talk. You likely want to go to somewhere that overall, presents itself quite nicely. You don't want to take a girl to a dive bar, even if she's into that, because it gives a bad impression. I often find places like Cafe Rogue (not sure about international equivalents, but it's a chain in the UK), are pretty nice, and if you're unsure if a girl doesn't want to drink, having cafe into the title of the bar does help. Pic below is an interior of a Cafe Rogue, but I think it's a pretty good example of the kind of atmosphere I'd like to achieve with a first date. It's a nice place, but not too quiet or explicitly romantic. Just my personal advice though, other people obviously do things differently and even then it depends on the person you're going out with. One of my housemates took a girl to McDonalds, and they clicked really well because she was the kind of people that likes McDonalds too, and it acted like an icebreaker.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1143549/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1158770
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I went on a date with a girl today. She lives in the town nearby. I got her to pick a place for us to meet, as I'd never been there before so I figured she'd know better. When I met her at first, I was pretty stunned as to how attractive she is. Bearing in mind I haven't dated for 6 years, I guess I'd forgotten what it feels like to be attracted to another girl. Anyway, she had a real natural beauty to her. For a moment I felt intimidated by how attractive she was, but just approached her and acted pretty normal. We seemed to get along pretty well. I think a big part of it was because when she was 22 she had a stroke, and right now, she works for a charity trying to ensure people better understand stroke. She has no real symptoms anymore, but you can see hints of her aphasia every now and then. You can see it's just slightly more demanding for her to access her vocabulary at times, she says it makes her tired to talk for really long periods of time. We spoke for about 2 and a half hours, then I asked if she wanted to leave the bar and get some food. I wanted to give her an opportunity to leave really. She was happy to come and eat with me, and we spent another couple of hours at a burger restaurant. She got her wallet out to pay half of the bill but I offered to pay, for the meal, £25, not too bad but not cheap either. I mentioned that I should get home sometime soon, since I took the train to get there, and she checked the train times for me (my phone ran out of battery). We kept talking, and she walked me to the train station, despite it being the opposite direction from where she had parked. We hugged, and I told her I wanted to see her again. She smiled and said 'yes' and we parted. On the train ride home, she sent me a text saying: "Hey it was really nice to meet you, I had a really good time. It would be cool to hang out again sometime :)" How does that sound guys? I think it went pretty well. --- This date was really good for me, it's made me feel a lot better about everything. I arranged this date with a girl on OKC one day after splitting with my fiance, and at the time I was worried that was too soon, that I shouldn't be messaging other girls. But it made me realise that there's plenty of people out there, and even if it doesn't work out with this girl, there's always going to be someone out there for me. Before I went out with this girl (Marnie) I would have still wanted to get back with my ex, but I don't want that anymore, it helped me move forward.
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1109308
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I mean, that could just mean she hasn't deleted the app, and leaves it open. She could just be busy and not really read the text or replied yet. Obviously it isn't looking good but personally it's not uncommon that I will make a girl wait for a day or more before I reply to them, and I've had girls do the same to me.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1109308/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1072136
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
That sucks man :( glad you're doing okay.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1072136/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1072667
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Never had a relationship shorter than a year. Distance has consistently been an instrumental factor in why they fall apart.
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1048292
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Have a date on Sunday - though only split with my fiance last week so as I said previously, may not be the best thing. Seem to connect with her pretty well on an intellectual level though, she works for a stroke charity and she's passionate about that, I have a masters in neuropsychology, and I used to work on an accute stroke ward. Have 3 other dates lined up for the following week or so but thus far I've just asked if they want to go out, and when they're free. I'm pretty good at initiating with girls but pretty nervous with dates and stuff. Most of the girls I've had success with in the past I've just got them to play video games with me, and eventually we end up making out. That doesn't work universally, as not all girls want to play video games. I disagree. I play games and chat about games at work as part of my job, at work for leisure (during lunch) often hang out with friends in town at gaming bars, or with friends that just bum around town and 'slack off'. I often have friends over just to randomly skate around town and not do much of anything. I've curated my life deliberately, so that it matches my interests so closely so that work does not often feel like work. That isn't to say I've not worked hard to get where I want to be, or that I don't work hard at work. But ultimately if I feel that if you really push for what your passionate about you shouldn't have to feel that you've had to and start tolerating activities / work that's unenjoyable. Work feels like play, then I go home and play some more.
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1048656
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Yeah. I wanted someone to go out with. Bad idea? I spoke to friends about it and they took the 'whatever makes you feel better' approach. At the end of the day, there's nothing I can do about my failed relationship but put it behind me. Our relationship failed predominantly because of the distance and there's nothing I could do to resolve the issues. I have to just move forward, and I hate to dwell on the past.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1048656/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1048901
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
I still find myself sitting in the company of other people often wishing we could be doing something more fun. I'm always convincing friends to play a game rather than just chat and do boring stuff. Even if it's a board game, or something similar.
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 1054199
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
When I was with my fiance we used to play games all the time. While it was something I loved at first, something I really wanted in a girl, it got a bit irritating after a while. It often meant that I didn't really get all that much time alone. I used to play a lot of comp shooters, but she's not competitive so she would complain a bit when I played those, because she knew she couldn't play ranked. At the same time, she was also pretty bad at the games, so if I was playing ranked, I didn't really want to play ranked with her. I tried to tell her if she would put in the time, we could play some ranked, she kept going on about wanting to go to the Lighthouse in Destiny, but I told her if she didn't play regular Crucible, she'd never get good enough to go - she didn't put in the time to get better and acted jealous when I played with my friends. I get it, because it was something she really wanted to experience, but it was irritating having her expect that I would carry her through. It was the same with the Raid on Destiny. She didn't want me doing it without her, but at the same time, she didn't put much time into the game to level up and whatnot, so I ended up being weeks behind friends. If I did something like that, early, without her, she'd often complain about it quite a lot - it would often end up ruining the experience, because she'd mention it every time we play, in a little passive aggressive manner (like if I asked if she wanted to do a Strike, she'd note how I wanted to play with her ). Sometimes it's good to have a good deal of separation. I don't know if I would want to be with a girl that close to my hobbies again. Definitely very much a first world, and quite geeky problem to have in a relationship though.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/1054199/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 835056
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Cheers, talking about it with people has been really helping me, including here. Ended up going down to Portsmouth to meet four of my friends for the weekend, just chilling, it's helping. I did something fairly stupid following the breakup yesterday too. I started talking to a few girls on tinder, and ended up asking a few (3) out on dates. I didn't expect them to agree, but they have. Is that poor etiquette? Should I cancel on two of them? Should I cancel on all of them since I just got out of a long term relationship yesterday? Or should I play it casual and just have fun and make friends? I mean, it's just drinks so far - doesn't have to mean a lot, is it okay to just go out and have fun with it? I mean, I did it, thinking it might make me feel better - I don't know if it will.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/835056/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 851553
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Nah, you'll meet the right person. Eventually you'll meet someone where it doesn't even feel like you need to do anything effortful to make things work. I met one of my ex's by offering to teach people how to play Street Fighter IV, a gaming group page. Just be confident, and optimistic, and things will work out. Gay bars are flooded with attractive women, and typically there's less competition from other men, than straight clubs. It's easier to meet girls there. I live in Brighton (lbgt capital of the UK) and my housemates pull girls on nights out at gay clubs pretty much every time we go out.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/851553/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 858798
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
A lot of people don't mix in sex homogenous social circles. My friends and I usually end up in gay bars because it's where our gay friends want to go and it's the only place they can all go and have a good time. Thats true of a lot of the women there too, they go with their gay friends. I think you're over thinking it.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/858798/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 865550
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
To be honest it's probably a little different because I live in Brighton. Every group of people I've ever been in has someone that's gay, so at least for me, it's always been fine to pop into a gay bar. The lines between gay and straight clubs are pretty blurred, to be honest. Generally speaking, I've never met a gay person that's felt that straight people aren't welcome in their bars, in fact they're usually the ones encouraging us to come in and have a drink. I can only speak for my own social circles, but in general, I think it's fine so long as you're
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/865550/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 816125
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Perhaps not the right place for this, but my fiance and I split up last night. I saw it coming, wasn't really there for her sometimes, and the distance made it difficult to resolve any issues (she worked at a game dev in Sheffield, I work at a games user research studio in Brighton) but I didn't realise I'd feel so empty, without her. She meant the world to me, I should have showed her that more often. A little despondent. We were together for 5 years.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/816125/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 817459
Thread: DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes
Unfortunately, not really, no. We'd been trying to repair things but she'd not been putting any effort in to communicate. When I confronted her about it, she just said it was because she didn't want to fix things, and didn't see things getter better, etc. It didn't feel that there was much I could do to convince her. In general, than anything else, it was the distance that made things impossible. Even though we'd see each other for a weekend and repair things a little, get a little closer, a little better, by the time I'd next see her and we'd feel more distant than ever. We used to have issues from time to time, when we lived together, but we were always able to resolve them, but that dynamic didn't work when we were living apart. She was supposed to just be working her internship for a year, then she'd move down south and we'd settle down... never mind that then...
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/817459/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 6362522
Thread: Spyro The Dragon Reignited Trilogy Leaked - With Boxart (Update: screenshots too) [PS4/XB1]
I guess most of you haven't played the Skylanders games. But they were developed by Vicarious Visions and Toys for Bob, alternatingly. Toys for Bob created the series with the first game, and Giants, and then alternated with Vicarious making Swap Force and Super Chargers, and Toys for Bob making Trap Team and Imaginators. . In general, I got the impression that Vicarious were a much more talented team. The Skylanders games that they produced were considerably better designed, and far less heavy handed with how they communicated to the player. For instance, it feels like Trap Team stops you every 30 seconds to pan the camera or something, while Swap Force avoids taking control from the player, and is a better game as a result. Not to mention that Vicarious tended to produce Skylanders games that looked a lot better than the ones produced by Toys for Bob. The step up from Giants to Swap Force is incredible, and that was driven by Vicarious Visions. While Toys for Bob's later entries in the series do come close (like Imaginators) you still get the impression that their not as technically capable, and their games don't look quite as nice as those produced by Vicarious. As a result, I'd be interested to see how this remake turns out. I never got the impression that Toys for Bob had a firm understanding of what made games, and particularly platformers fun (Skylanders itself, played like 3rd rate Diablo until Vicarious Visions added a jump button in Swap Force). I wonder if they will put emphasis on the correct mechanics in the remaster, I wonder if the game will feel quite right, and i wonder if their studio has the technical ability to produce a remake at the same quality as Vicarious Visions' Crash Bandicoot Trilogy.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/6362522/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 6285541
Thread: Far Cry 5 |OT| Big Cry Country
That person you speak of, likely an executive producer, would have been aware of the state the game was shipping but also aware that their team was pressured for time. Almost every game ships with 100s if not thousands of bugs, and that person would have emphasised prioritising the more damaging, high frequency issues first. At the same time, the executive producer is not in charge of the development schedule. It's their job to ensure that the game is produced to as great a quality as it can be, within a certain time frame. Either way, the point is that suggesting it's the responsibility of one single person is unfair. Yes, someone would have been supervising the development of that mission but video game development is much more complex than that.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/6285541/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 6285951
Thread: Far Cry 5 |OT| Big Cry Country
Although many of you guys seem to be complaining about the frequency of enemy spawns, I can't say I had that issue myself. Maybe it's because for the most part, I avoided the roads, and had a habit of walking around the world. In general, it felt like it made more sense. You're a wanted man in the mostly hostile environment. I didn't feel the frequency of enemy spawns was unusual, it gave me the sense that the Peggies were the majority, not the minority, within this universe. When I did drive, I just wanted to get from A to B quickly, so I just ignored the hostile vehicles. In general, I felt like the acquisition of new quests felt organic. As I made an effort to explore new locations on foot, I often discovered quests and NPCs directly, but was informed of others by NPCs and notes that I found. Likely contributing to this, I never sought to complete all of the quests available, so I didn't find myself deliberately searching for people to speak to, and I just took what I found, as it appeared.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/6285951/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 6286626
Thread: Far Cry 5 |OT| Big Cry Country
I played some of the arcade multiplayer last night. Someone was stood on a roof with infinite grenades, throwing them at our spawn point. I looked in the loadout options and neither team had a loadout with infinite grenades available (not even sure this is possible). I guess this is just a bug? In any case, a weird and frustrating experience. Managed to get pretty good at the actual gunplay in arcade though. As headshots one-shot kill and bodyshots do next to nothing, once you get used to it you can easily take on a few players at once, because the difference between the time to kill of someone that's only aiming for headshots, and someone that's aiming for bodyshots, is insane. No guarantee players make maps with decent loadout or fun loadout options though. Same, to be honest. Really enjoying it, but only half way through. The only issue I've experienced is that one of my missions says its incomplete on the map screen even though I've beaten it. It registers as complete on the log though, just the icon for it still appears. That, and I have lots of problems with the arcade mode. The usability of the toolset is terrible, and the core mechanics for PvP just aren't that polished.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/6286626/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 6250425
Thread: Far Cry 5 |OT| Big Cry Country
I notice quite a few people here seem to have complained about story mission completion glitches. I actually have a weird bug myself too, one of the gun for hire missions says it's incomplete, even though I completed it ages ago. I even have the guy as a gun for hire but it won't disappear from the map. Pretty annoying. I guess that might prevent me from getting all of the trophies. Not a big deal for progression though, thankfully.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/6250425/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 6250565
Thread: Far Cry 5 |OT| Big Cry Country
If you're happy with 3, why stop playing it? You can play 5 after.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/6250565/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 6222414
Thread: Far Cry 5 |OT| Big Cry Country
I've been messing around in the arcade, particularly the PvP stuff. I kind of like the way it encourages you to just play random maps and whatnot, just a bit of fun. However, the way weapons work and feel in multiplayer is just horrible. I guess it's the really tanky enemies that go down in one headshot that makes it often feel like sheer chance when an enemy goes down, or doesn't. Aim assist awkwardly sticks onto targets but because they're not moving like in the campaign, it's not helpful, it drags you away from moving targets Overall the gunplay just feels off. Making things worse a lot of the guns / mechanics just feel really unfair / weird. Instantly killing melee attacks that initiate a forced animation, shotguns that inconsistently one-shot kill, snipers that do the same. Grenades don't kill, they knock you over into a fixed animation. Hitmarkers also don't appear consistently, sometimes it's even difficult to tell who's on your team, because their coloured silhouette doesn't appear. I get that it's because most of these mechanics were just carried over from the campaign, but as it is it's as if they took inspiration from the design guide of multiplayer don'ts, and put it all into Far Cry 5's PvP. Multiplayer matches just aren't fun for me, regardless of the map or map design, and that's a problem. It's all good and well having and impressive toolset for map creation, but what good is any of it if the gameplay isn't enjoyable.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/6222414/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 7529205
Thread: Indie Game Development |OT 2018| Come, help, learn, show and tell!
Game looks great dude. Best of luck with the launch. I hope it makes it's way over to console eventually.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/7529205/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 692516
Thread: Rainbow Six: Siege|OT|Thus declareth the Lord Almighty,"Return to me, and I will return to you."
I'll pick up the game again when I get paid. Would be good to play with some of you over the holidays and whatnot. The market for competitive shooters has been pretty underwhelming this year (COD and Battlefront don't really interest me).
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/692516/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 697264
Thread: Rainbow Six: Siege|OT|Thus declareth the Lord Almighty,"Return to me, and I will return to you."
Would be more fun than it is if it didn't carry over the unresponsive controls from the base game. But if you didn't notice the input lag, then you'll likely have fun with it. It's also kind of irritating how much it relies on explicit marking of players. Because the maps are clearly, not designed for PVP, they have to use the drone system and a central tower (that players can activate to see the opposing team) so as to centralise gameplay. In general, it feels like it would be better if it were designed with PVP in mind from the ground up, and objectives could have been used to centralise gameplay without excessive use of the marking system.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/697264/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 719329
Thread: Rainbow Six: Siege|OT|Thus declareth the Lord Almighty,"Return to me, and I will return to you."
Regarding the post above about characters to start with... Characters to avoid when you start playing: Characters that depend on map knowledge (like Fuze, because it's important you know what's on the other side, when you Fuze) Characters to play when you start playing: Characters that help you build map knowledge, like Twitch, as you get to drone around and explore the maps, in a reduced risk environment. None of the characters are that complicated, the barrier to this game is learning the maps, spots where people hide, and how to approach peeking, etc. I wouldn't worry too much if you do end up playing the more complex characters - because none of them are all that complex, but at the same time you could get over the more long-term learning barriers by picking characters that help you learn the maps faster. As for defenders. I don't know, the same rule applies, but I don't know which defenders help you build map knowledge faster. Arguably someone like Kalplan, because you have to explore all of the buildings entry points to try out your traps etc.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/719329/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 7415170
Thread: Street Fighter V: Arcade Edition |OT| Gone Gold
Man, the interaction design on Capcom's website is just disgusting. When I click the page, there's a massive button like object that says 'LOGIN TO YOUR ACCOUNT' followed by the text 'must log in.'. Neither of which are clickable, or in any way take you to a log in page. Instead, the log in page is hidden behind a padlock, at the upper right of the nav bar. What the fuck? It's like they let the same guy that designed SFVs UI, design the website.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/7415170/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 10038820
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
Strix is ridiculous sometimes... It's just frightening to play against him. One moment it'll be 5 vs 5 then suddenly your team will be 2 champs down without any warning, and you're wiped. I don't think he's broken personally. I mean maybe this is because I play this on PS4 but there are a lot of characters that counter Drogos really easily. He's extremely powerful but I'd say he's also perhaps the easiest champ to kill. He has slow mobility and no escape. Cassie can roll away, Victor runs etc. Furia, Lian, Strix, Kinesa, Victor, Tyra are all pretty good counters to drogos, they can output similar DPS on a single target to him and they all have hitscans with no significant damage falloff. A lot of flanks destroy him too. Maeve for instance, I find extremely difficult to hit with Drogos on console. Movement speed Lex is impossible to hit too. The rest of the flanks are probably a pretty even matchup, again this is where the lack of a meaningful movement utility to escape hitscans really hurts drogos. Characters like Cassie can escape someone hitting her on the flank and put the fight back into a position where she's at an advantage, but Drogoz struggles to do this against hitscans. Some people like the forward boost on thrust as you can use it to get over and away from your opponent, but it doesn't work at high levels of play.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/10038820/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 10042160
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
People really overrate Lex's auto-aim ability. It's literally only worth using to finish someone off instead of reloading. 1100 damage in 1.4s is not a lot of damage at all. It leaves Lex really vulnerable, and deals lower dps than his default attack. If anything, the fact that he doesn't have a good damaging ability is what makes Lex a fairly mediocre Flank. His slide is okay as a getaway, and his justice mechanic (wallhack stuff) is neat, but he doesn't have anything decent to help secure a kill (e.g. Bucks slow) or to finish someone else with (Maeve burst damage). Drogos only has to get one shot on Lex while Lex is doing his stupid 1.4 second attack to even out on damage.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/10042160/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 10053868
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
Yeah for sure, though I don't think Lex's strength in juking and dueling tends to hold up at high levels of play. Lex has the second lowest winrate of any Flank in the game, only second to Skye, who outright sucks.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/10053868/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9893869
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
Still crashes on PS4 sometimes, over a year later.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9893869/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9943157
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
Except Buck is great, Pip is pretty mediocre. I wouldn't say Pips bad but I think generally teams do better with a more focused healer, and I think as an off-healer Furia can deal more damage while also healing more consistently. Pip and Buck both have pretty weird kits because they were designed for the original Paladins. Where the game featured huge maps necessitating movement abilities that allowed heroes to travel great distances. They did rework Pips kit, and transformed him from a damage roll into a healing roll but in trying to retain the aggressive character that he was before, they made him a bit of a weird hybrid between support and flank. Playing him as a flank is inefficient, because he doesn't get bonus credits for flank kills, he gets bonus credits for healing. So if you're picking him as a flank, you're better off playing any other flank, and playing him as support, well, you're better off playing other supports. That's why people rarely pick Pip. He has some advantages though, small hitbox is good for avoiding snipers compared to other healers, and the AOE on his primary is good for spreading cauterise across the opposing team.
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9949909
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
I didn't think it was that bad. Just a bit of fun. I like the platform challenge. I didn't play it more than 5 times though as I bought the skin bundle which gives you enough of the currency to buy everything else too. Kind of a shame that buying the bundle makes the event pointless, to be honest.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9949909/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9967085
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
Strix is too much fun. Hitboxes and controls in general are very lenient in this game. So it's super easy to be ultra-precise even on a controller.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9967085/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9968060
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
I like it when there's a new support, because you can almost guarantee someone on your team will play support.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9968060/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9968778
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
Not true. Sometimes they throw out an attack that incidentally heals someone.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9968778/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9983410
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
Managed to rank up from Bronze V to Gold 1 over the last handful of days. Even at gold one though, people don't seem to understand that team comp matters. It blows my mind that I'm finding myself in matches where we don't have frontlines or supports. The last game I played, I had first pick so I picked my regular character, Strix. None of my team picked any supports, or front line champions. We lost the game. 4-0. Sure, I picked Strix and I could have played Support or Frontline, but it's easy to assume that your team will make the appropriate picks. If I'm down to the last two and we don't have a Support or Tank, I'll pick support. Fuck, pick a support then trade with me if you have to. --- Also, what determines who gets to chose to pick/ban? I tend to get it 90% of the time.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9983410/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9986312
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
Yeah. It can be a long waste of time too. Like in one of the recent games I had we were able to stop them pushing the payload all the way, but not strong enough as a team to capture the payload to begin with. Therefore, it was pretty obvious that we couldn't win. We just got slaughtered whenever we got near them. On the 3rd round, as they got close to pushing the payload to our base, our tank just gave up and stopped playing. I guess she wanted it to end? We'd been in a game that we clearly couldn't win for 15+ minutes, it's frustrating. I joined her. I wanted it over and done with, and there was no point in continuing with the bad comp and one player down. --- Problematically, in these situations players don't even buy the right items or adopt the right strategies to compensate. If you've fucked up and started a match with no supports then you need to buy cauterise and focus on taking down the supports. But they don't, they just play the same crappy strategy they normally do. I like that Paladin's doesn't allow hero switching but this really necessitates careful champion selection, particularly in ranked play. What do the load times matter in a multiplayer game? You have to wait for everyone else to load before the game can begin anyway.
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9989028
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
In my experience, those are slow on any platform largely because the game is making calls to the server every time you do something in the menu. Even if you run everything super low it doesn't function at light speed on PC. For example, even when Frostfangs plays on the absolute lowest setting, it takes a few seconds to load up a view of a champion. In Frostfangs video It even takes LONGER to exit out of a game when set to the lowest settings Than it does when played on maximum settings I would think you'd be looking at marginal, if any benefit / difference on the Switches internal vs external storage. It certainly makes no noticeable difference on my PS4 Pro with SSD vs my regular PS4 without SSD.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9989028/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 10010845
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
Seem to be on a losing streak tonight in ranked. Very frustrating. I feel like I'm playing my role very well relative to the level of play I'm at, and yet it just isn't cutting it. Whose are these losses? I'm aware that technically, we're a team and therefore it's our teams fault, but I think identifying weakness is at least an interesting takeaway. In this first one, I think it's Cassie. Cassie should be topping the team DPS total and that's quite a lot of deaths on her part, at least relative to her contribution. Here I think it's all of them. It doesn't make sense as to why any of them were dying that frequently, unless they were funnelling into battle one at a time. If you die more than 15 times in a match then you probably just didn't have a strong presence in the game. Knowing when to pull out, where to position yourself, etc. is key to not dying, and these guys didn't seem to have a good handle on the overall flow of the match. I didn't want to play Drogos but my team mate picked Strix and then didn't want to swap. I think Mal'Damba was at fault here. Also none of our team bought Wrecker therefore the shields from Barikk and Ash were quite hard to deal with. I picked caut off the bat, most of them bought caut or deft hands. I asked the Fernando to pick Wrecker and he said no, that wrecker was useless and bought bulldozer to deal with Barikk's turrets. I told him it was a bad decision, but I'm not 100% on that. I think Wrecker would have been a better bet to take down Ash and Barrik's walls.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/10010845/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 10032978
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
Man, Drogos is so good. His Salvo is incredibly powerful. Combine it with a combustible shot and you're dealing over 2K damage in an AOE. That's better than many characters ultimate abilities, and you have it on a 20 second cooldown (much lower with the right perks). I think he's the only character I can easily carry a game with. I buy cauterise, and wipe out the enemy supports without breaking a sweat. I often play other damage characters but it's hard to put the pressure on and confirm a kill with a lot of them if your team aren't supporting. For instance it's easy for Seris to go invulnerable after you deal some damage, or Ying to teleport away, but Drogos doesn't have to deal with that, he wipes them off the map. You can use coins to buy some of the palette swap skins. I'd say it's worth spending on those before you consider using them to level up your character.
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9804492
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
If you watch pro matches it's often that 4/5 will pick caut or wrecker. Decisions that should influence which you pick Screenshot from the opening of a pro league game () Supports often like to buy cool down reduction in particular, because it means you can get more healing out onto your team, but generally speaking if you're damage or flank then caut/wrecker is almost an essential first pick. You outright lose games if your team don't get their purchases right early on.
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9804804
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
I am climbing, slowly. It's just with the long matchmaking time and back and forth wins/losses it's quite a chore. :(
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9804804/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9860144
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
Last three Strix matches in ranked. On a roll now, hit Gold.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9860144/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9871678
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
Yeah there's quite a few annoying things about the bots. It put quite a few of my friends off of the game, because even though they wanted to jump in with me and play, we had to sit there and play an hour of bot games together. Something none of us found fun.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9871678/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9875159
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
Play of the game in Paladin's is always such ass. It doesn't seem take anything into account other than the kill/damage frequency. So often ends up in really crappy situations like Tyra dealing a significant amount of damage with a grenade, while getting a kill, or Victor spraying down two people. In my last game I got a quad with Strix, and it got beaten out of play of the game by a Victor triple Spray. Sure, whatever.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9875159/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9785886
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
Yeah, but it doesn't really bother me there to be honest. Just seems like right now, I either have really close games or get absolutely steamrolled, and when we get steamrolled my team don't do anything to compensate what's happening. They either run right back in as soon as they respawn (and die) or quit playing. I don't even mind losing if I can have a good game. Potentially learning something and having some fun in a close match, but as my team mates tend to lose spirit as soon as we start doing poorly, it just snowballs into a loss where there's nothing interesting happening anymore.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9785886/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9788144
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
Even when I put in crazy amounts of work, we're still losing. I guess I could have been a better healer, but that's best damage and most kills with a support character. What do I have to do to win a game? That's like 10 losses in a row now. :(
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9788144/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9797130
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
Eventually managed to get a win last night. Though it's a testament to the people I'm playing with that I'm top damage with Barik. Absolutely a hard carry. 53 eliminations, 27 killstreak while the rest of my team were dropping like flies. I don't even play Barik or want to play Barik it's just he's the only tank I know how to play that wasn't banned and I wanted to win a game for once. Maybe I should just main Barik. Our Drogoz and Seris were especially poor performers.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9797130/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9803471
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
Other than obvious stuff, like pick caut/wrecker depending on enemy team composition. Try to pick heroes that fit your team comp. If you have last pick of hero you have quite a bit of power to counterpick, etc. If you're one of the first picks, the odds are that someone may explicitly counterpick you so be cautious picking champs that are super vulnerable to specific strategies (e.g. if you pick Skye, don't be surprised if someone picks Strix to reveal you for the entire game).
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9803471/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9754937
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
Yeah that's not because of the lack of people playing either. Even on PS4 / PC it can often take two minutes to find a game. I think it does make quite an effort to match you with similar ELO players, and ranked takes even longer.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9754937/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9755557
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
It would be great if auto-purchasing just bought caut/wrecker depending on your opponents team composition. I'm guessing 90% of players have auto purchasing on, because I can't see any other explanation as to why no one ever makes the right purchases. If the opposing team is running 2+ supports or frontlines then Generally speaking healing champions can do more healing, than any champion can deal damage. Therefore, irrespective of how skilful you and your team are with your champions, you won't outdamage their healing/shielding. The only exception to this is if you know your team already have those covered or if your character isn't suited to spreading caut / dealing damage via wrecker (e.g. someone like Maldamba isn't that effective at spreading damage or dealing damage to shields).
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9755557/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/N0HYB
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9767362
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
I like Frostfangs a lot. Even when I don't play Paladin's I watch his videos, he seems like the kind of person I'd like to have a drink with or whatever. Generally dislike most youtubers.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9767362/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9784652
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
Ranked is really frustrating me in this game. I've been progressing in rank, gradually, but at the same time I'm definitely losing more often than I am winning. Every loss I seem to do at least, quite a bit better than my team mates, but it's just really frustrating.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9784652/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9719861
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
Strix a lot of fun. Sometimes hard to make enough of a difference if your frontline isn't present though. The game I was playing above, I was having no trouble picking people off, including their supports, persistently, but they had Terminus, Seris and the new healer (forget her name). My team had Grover and Khan but Grover was persistently sat on a rooftop throwing Axe's at people, as opposed to supporting Khan. Grover players can be the worst. Yes, his Axe does more damage over a long distance, but that doesn't mean you should sacrifice your supporting role to play a pseudo sniper.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9719861/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9722190
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
Kind of annoying to see continuous bug fixes and nothing for Evie. Most of this stuff still happens I really like her, but it's so frustrating to have your character stuck in place after a blink. She's so easy to snipe when she's always left stood still for half a second after any blink. Complete disconnect between what looks like is happening on your screen, and what happens on your opponents.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9722190/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9672984
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
Yeah I've found Zhin can be ridiculous on console for some reason. I don't think he's too threatening of a character generally but you don't need to be especially accurate with his sword swipes to hit something. Whereas in contrast, due to dual analog aiming, a lot of people have trouble hitting you. Additionally, if you use his spinning attack (I forget the name) to pass through an opponent, you get 400 damage plus an extra strike for free, simply because console players cannot turn around fast enough. Same with Evie too. Shoot them from one side, teleport behind, shoot them again, teleport back (wormhole). You can get 1600 damage for free, and by the end of this situation they're usually disorientated and weak, so they'll just try and run away - you can finish them off as they run or fly at them pursue, and kill. Super easy. I've played more games than that with her now though, stats aren't updated for whatever reason. Still that 5.3 KDA comes from console players not being able to react to high-mobility characters, particularly at mid levels of play. With this said, whenever I play other Evie's or Zhin's, they're pretty free. Evie's tend to be straight up awful on console, and Zhin's are easy to deal with if you just pursue them when they billow. That's their only escape gone, and billow isn't too fast unless they have the movement speed card.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9672984/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9674426
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
There's an option in the settings to display card based passive cooldowns, maybe that's what you mean? Otherwise, I don't know.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9674426/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9684349
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
Never noticed that, but I guess there's no way to hover over them on PS4 anyway...
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9684349/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9628865
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
Feudal bundle seems pretty cheap relative to the quality of the skins / ratio of getting those skins. Only 8 items in the chest and there's 3 good skins inside (split into 2 items each with weapon I think). Pretty good odds of getting something decent, less so if you want something specific.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9628865/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9629151
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
Just completed my qualifing games on PS4, not too bad.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9629151/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9631482
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
Yeah. I mean, aside from the obvious usability issue which you identified; the fact that it's hard to tell if they require gems, coins or both.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9631482/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9643405
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
Something else you can spend coins on are character level ups. Wouldn't necessarily recommend that though.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9643405/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9648933
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
It used to be the case that you could spend coins on the small chests, most of them would contain cards (the card unlock system is now gone) but sometimes you'd get skins and whatnot. It felt like a decent reward for playing. However, now there's next to nothing to spend your gold on. As I said above, you can also spend your gold on levelling up your character. Though, that doesn't really get you anything interesting, and it costs a lot just to gain a small number of levels. You can also buy the master rank stuff that you get (master rank emote, and obsidian skin) but you have to unlock that by hitting the appropriate rank with the character. Currently I have 400,000 gold. It's really annoying to be honest because I used to own most of the skins, but they revoked them and gave us a gold refund.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9648933/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9652235
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
1. Like 26 days? Something like that. Not too long to be honest, you'd need to play several hours per day to get there. 2. Yes.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9652235/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9654977
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
While the rewards aren't that enticing I think the Battle Pass itself is pretty cheap relative to what it offers and more than anything it's a nice incentive to play the game persistently. I enjoy levelling up and completing the Battle Pass missions etc.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9654977/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9655201
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
The other option is to buy the battle pass then just buy the remaining levels at the end of the season. You can buy one battle pass level for 70 gems. So if you got to level 30, you could buy the remaining 20 levels for 1400 gems. Not really a good option though. Honestly it's quite manipulative. The XP requirement escalates per level making it both increasingly difficult for players to hit level 50 and difficult to determine how long it will take. This is intentional, to leave a large number of players short of hitting their target. Players are likely to see their time as a sunk cost. Therefore, their time is held ransom to the cost of whatever remaining levels they have. I'd argue that Battle Passes are about as manipulative as loot boxes to be honest.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9655201/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9617788
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
I'm on PS4 and trying to buy the latest Strix skin, the one that's star wars themed. But every time I click it it takes me to either the wrong page (the page for Rukus) or takes me to the Strix page with no option to purchase the skin. Anyone else have this issue?
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9617788/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9626112
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
Why on earth did Hi-Rez think that if you disconnect the bot should spend all of your money? Why? The AI don't do shit, they walk in a straight line to the objective and die over and over again. Any player replaced by the AI typically ends a game with 0 kills and 1 or 2 assists, 20+ deaths. I get why putting an AI into the game might help players feel like they have a full team, but if by making purchases they're actually hindering the match should the player return. Tried for 2 days and it just didn't work. Missed out on the sale because of it seemingly. Can't purchase the next bundle on PS4 either, must be broken for PS4 users? The PS4 version of the game seems straight up broken anyway. For example, the loading screen only covers 1/4 of the screen, with the other 3/4 filled with empty black space. The game crashes on a semi-regular basis, and there are so many weird bugs and glitches related to individual characters. I was in a game last night with a Khan who had some weird visual glitch where he was filling the screen with weird green particles. As Strix, it was almost impossible to get a good view of what was actually happening and what I was shooting.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9626112/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9627801
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
No you can get those with gold. It's gold or gems.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9627801/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9591955
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
This games can be really janky on PS4. Experienced two hard crashes in the last two days :/
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9591955/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9593632
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
While you can, I don't think it's a good experience in third person. Many of the characters are quite large and their model covers their crosshair.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9593632/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9485731
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
It's kind of weird that we didn't have an OT on this game until recently? Particularly as it's a pretty popular game. I remember I searched for one as soon as I joined ERA, and even made a LTTP thread. Still, I'm glad to have the discussion.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9485731/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9488069
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
Purchasing decisions seem to go over everyones head on any platform. I was playing on PC the other week against 5 support characters, and I was the only player on our team that bought cauterise. They persistently outhealed our damage. My cauterise wasn't enough, because I was playing Talus so I wasn't exactly spreading damage.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9488069/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9478181
Thread: Paladins |OT| Champions of the Realm
I really love this game but it's so janky sometimes. It just gives me the persistent impression that not enough care and attention goes into it. Like at the moment, on PS4 Pro, the loading screen image only occupies 1/4 of the screen. It just makes the game look like it's falling apart at the seams.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9478181/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 9797969
Thread: ONRUSH |OT| Feel the Rustch
Didn't mention this before but really proud to have worked on this game with Rushy and the team. Most of my work in the games industry is uncredited but I'm present in the credits on this one. The guys at Codemasters Evo were really great to work with and I think the game is a lot of fun.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/9797969/
Archive.org: https://web.archive.org/web/20180705204019/https://www.resetera.com/threads/onrush-ot-feel-the-rustch.46786/page-12
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 8866166
Thread: ONRUSH |OT| Feel the Rustch
Really enjoying the game so far. Do you guys find the game easier with Bikes or Cars? I mostly use bikes, regardless of gametype (like a Hanzo player that won't switch class), but it can be pretty rough sometimes.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/8866166/
Archive.org: https://web.archive.org/web/20180705203948/https://www.resetera.com/threads/onrush-ot-feel-the-rustch.46786/page-7
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 8866283
Thread: ONRUSH |OT| Feel the Rustch
Wipeout HD/Fury will also display throttle as a percentage on the HUD. You can also adjust the trigger sensitivity to see the degree to which your analog bumpers might be damaged. Ideally, you should still be able to hit 100% throttle even with the lowest sensitivity option.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/8866283/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 8867959
Thread: ONRUSH |OT| Feel the Rustch
Did you pick up the game dude? It says I can't direct message you on here for some reason.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/8867959/
Archive.org: https://web.archive.org/web/20180705203948/https://www.resetera.com/threads/onrush-ot-feel-the-rustch.46786/page-7
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 8772464
Thread: ONRUSH |OT| Feel the Rustch
I find the bikes pretty tricky to use. Sometimes I use blades Rush and I can get 4 takedowns immediately, but any other time and it's just a little tricky to get anything going. There were times where I used his ability on zone, and when timed right it would guarantee we captured that zone, which is more impactful than any other vehicle on the field in my opinion, but the huge amount of time between using Rush and building the next one, I feel very vulnerable / almost useless. Nice gif. I was actually in your lobby for quite a while last night (or with someone with the same name as you), playing as blade. Good games!
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/8772464/
Archive.org: https://web.archive.org/web/20180705203932/https://www.resetera.com/threads/onrush-ot-feel-the-rustch.46786/page-4
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 10052676
Thread: Has anyone else lost interest in Fighting games?
I'm still interested but for me there hasn't been anything really exciting release recently. Not a fan of DBFZ, I don't like Dragon Ball or the faster paced fighting games like Marvel generally. I like the neutral game, zoning, footsies, etc. SFV delivers on that to an extent but it could be a better game. Fighting Ex Layer looks janky, low budget and I don't like the art. The most interesting new fighting game in in the last 10 years was Blazblue, and I followed that for a while but dropped off with all of the reiterations. I like how Capcom release a new Street Fighter every 5 or so years and it's mechanically and graphically different. I'd need something like a new Dark Stalkers to get excited.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/10052676/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 10031472
Thread: The Switch is quickly becoming a retro gamer's paradise.
It's pretty good, but I don't like repurchasing the same games over and over. SNK and other companies are just desperate to make a quick buck off of their old titles and the best opportunity to do that is the launch window. I don't mind the collections, like Megaman Anniversary, stuff like that. I think they offer good value, but I don't think many of these titles are worth more than $ individual. Especially when you consider that people have so many other places to play them.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/10031472/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/Ze8vV
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 685886
Thread: Why women criticise sexualised character designs (READ OP)
Purely anecdotal evidence, but my sister, who typically avoids western rpgs, bought Dragon Age Inquisition because it was 'one of the only Western RPGs with a good story and characters'. She also liked the Witcher 3, but the most part isn't interested in Western RPGs because they are more combat rather than story orientated. Something to bear in mind, is that the wrpg and jrpg labels are pretty arbitary. What we see in the data is that women find games with a story focus, appealing (the ratio of women playing 'Interactive Drama' and 'Atmospheric Exploration' is close to 40%). As for Assassins Creed syndicate. It might have benefited from having a women as a female character, and if I recall, she was also central to the games marketing. Whatever it was though, they decided not to take the same approach with Origins.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/685886/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 686742
Thread: Why women criticise sexualised character designs (READ OP)
That's not because they are biased to employing male developers. It's because the gender split on game dev courses is like 10/90 in favour of male. In general, there are very few women in the tech sector. It's a huge issue, and yes it does influence game development. With that said, there are a fair number of women in game dev, that sit in marketing, production and management roles. Again, it goes back to an issue that's likely rooted in societal attitudes towards gender across childhood development. Barbie doesn't influence girls to become video game developers, she influences girls to
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/686742/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 683236
Thread: Why women criticise sexualised character designs (READ OP)
Just wanted to weigh in on this, and hope my opinion isn't controversial. I think a big part of the reason you see a lot of sexualised designs is that in reality, video games aren't made to target everyone. As a user researcher I get to see a lot of the marketing side of video game development, and it's not uncommon that a game developer will assign a persona of a user that's a 20-40 year old male (obviously this is just an example, and will vary quite a bit, sometimes the target audience will be female, particularly for mobile games). The game is then designed to attract that audience of players. Some of the criticism of sexualisation in games operates around the assumption that games are made for everyone, but this isn't true. And I would imagine that the reason genders aren't given equal representation is likely that this contrasts the data that the publishers have, suggesting that their target audience likes sexualised female characters. This is particularly true for Eastern developers, who in my experience, describe the sexualisation as an issue that only impacts their Western audience. Personally I think many of the issues that we label as sexism stem from how boys and girls are treated in early childhood. Not just video games, but the tech industry in general is marketed towards boys, and not girls. Girls have to deviate from the social norms of their peers if they want to play something like video games. It's not just video games either, and sexualisation of women isn't at the heart of the issue - if I think back to playing Pokemon, Magic, or Dungeons and Dragons at school, those are all activities that were marketed towards males, and a girl would often need to deviate from the social norms of her peers, if she wanted to play with them. I think those social norms for females are curated by the toys and whatnot, that are marketed towards them, and I think this is a the root of the problem. Why would developers start making games for women, if our society teaches women from an early age, that games, and activities analogous to them, are not designed for them. Note that boys toys are analogues with activities we see in popular video games, girls toys are not. I think this is at the heart of the problem. By the time you're looking at these mainstream video games like Street Fighter V, League of Legends, Paladin's etc that are featuring sexualised representations of women, the target audience has been exposed to the same type of experience for the last 15 years of their lives. Shooters and action games are played to predominantly male players, and it is this way, because males are taught to like this type of experience from an early age. This then, leads to the sexaulisation of female characters, because in honesty, the reality is that many males do find those designs appealing. I would argue that it wouldn't be this way if we had more gender overlap between the activities both sexes of children enjoy. This, I argue is the cause of the issue, and the sexualisation of females we see in, for example, Dead or Alive, is just a symptom of it. Getting the developers to adjust their representation of women doesn't remedy the issue - in Dead or Alive's case, the only thing it would be likely do would be to negatively impact the comercial performance of the game. This isn't to say that I feel that any of this is the way things should be, just giving my opinion on why things are the way they are.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/683236/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 684291
Thread: Why women criticise sexualised character designs (READ OP)
It's not the same in film, though. The Avengers movies, for instance, are actually targeted towards both men and women. Thor for instance, arguably features more scenes with sexualised male characters, than it does female. Here's some data from The Avengers 40% male, 60% female. It's not split that way across individual games / platforms across the video game industry, and is directly analogous of how it's not split evenly, across the tech sector. In general, I think film is pretty nicely portrayed for both men, and women, even from an early age. While I would argue that girls cartoons are pretty bad, but films targeted towards kids accommodate both sexes pretty well. Look at Dreamworks and Pixar. There films are very much, gender neutral with their marketing. Kids are exposed to that content in film from an early age, it's not outside of the social norm for a girl to watch the latest Marvel movie, as it would be for a girl to play the latest Call of Duty.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/684291/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 684674
Thread: Why women criticise sexualised character designs (READ OP)
He just linked data from the Quantic Foundry survey of 270,000 gamers, and you're rebuttal is a survey with a minimal, 1000 player sample size. Alongside some other arbitrary infographics. I get your point but the data you presented is meaningless. I don't think anyone is using that data to suggest that women couldn't be interested in certain games or genres, however, I do feel that the data indicates that there are likely issues beyond the sexaulisation of women in games, that make the genre unpopular with women. For example, going back to what I was saying above, I think the gender designation of childhood toys, and how many boys toys are direct analogues to male-dominated video game genres, is likely a significant factor and arguably a huge part of the issue.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/684674/
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2018-07-05
Chronospherics 685046
Thread: The |OT| |OT|: Index, Volunteer, Coordinate, & Collaborate [Read OP!]
Do we have a Paladin's OT? Does anyone even play Paladins? I'd happily make a Paladin's OT - though I can't post threads so someone would need to post it for me. Edit: I'll find a way to find out if anyone actually plays Paladins first and then come back to this idea.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/685046/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/nr7YN
2018-07-05
Chronospherics 226970
Thread: The |OT| |OT|: Index, Volunteer, Coordinate, & Collaborate [Read OP!]
This is just a thought but something I always wanted to do on GAF, but never even got around to suggesting was attempt to create an OT dedicated to gamedev career development and mentoring. Do you guys think that would be possible here on resetera? The intent of the thread would be to give provide a little bit of info about the various pathways into the games industry, and provide forum readers a point of contact in various fields, where they could ask practical questions about the industry and help other gaffers both understand the industry, and what they need to do break into it. It would require a list of industry members willing to take on a few mentees, and the OT creator could act as a gatekeeper (preventing mentors being messaged by everyone on the forum). Thoughts on that idea? Are there enough people working in the games industry, across various fields, to make something like that work? I'm a User Researcher working in games, so I'd be willing to volunteer advice from that angle.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/226970/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/WL8yK