Title: Mental Health ERA |OT| You are not Alone
Red Text: ACCESS
Welp, I've had an interesting time since last posting. I've been put on a higher dosage of medication, but my pharmacy hasn't had my meds in stock for weeks, so I haven't been taking them, and have no intention of going back on them given the agony that they put me through when adapting back to them. I was supposed to be getting help with my living situation, but I haven't heard from anybody about that. So I've tried pouring myself into getting somewhere with my education again, and this is where it gets fucked up. Three years ago I wasn't eligible to take the Access to Social Science course that I wanted to do, because I didn't have the GCSEs to take it. (I was bullied severely at school and ended up being pulled out of the system by my parents, so never got to take my exams.) Even though the entire point of an Access Course is to serve as an entry level method of getting into higher education (That's why it's called an course!), I was rebuffed and left to stew. That helped kick start my collapse into depression and alcoholism, which led to me losing my fiance and, in turn, led to me trying to take my life at the end of last year. This year they've scrapped the GCSE requirements, you just have to go to an interview and take a Maths and English proficiency exam to ensure you can cope with the studies. This was not an option three years ago. Now, I should be elated that this has changed, that I can go where I wanted to go with my studies, but I'm not. Instead the first thought that cropped up in my head, after applying for the course, was "If they can take me now, why couldn't they before?" All that suffering that I ended up going through, losing all the good things that I had in my life, all of that happened for no reason at all. Life can be a cruel fucking joke sometimes, I swear.
Link: https://www.resetera.com/posts/6325535/
Archive.is (legacy): https://archive.is/vbizK